Asking for help stimming

[Jerri]

• 17 minutes ago from chat page:
• Jennifer McGuire: Hello all. I am new to the group having been recently diagnosed as ASD. I DOVE into stimming research as I suddenly realized that my facial expressions, leg shakes, talking incessantly etc... were all forms of stims. As I stimmed, it opened up memories I didn’t know I had suppressed. It was terrifying! No way to exaggerate that...I was literally frozen in panic. So, please, a warning and caution...stimming may make you remember something you suppressed. Having said that, I need help stimming. Is there a relaxing side to stimming? Is there a better way to direct stimming so that you don’t escape into thought with less-than-a-thought about if your chosen stimming method is both appropriate for your body’s needs and your thought processes at the same time?

 

[Jerri]

I was trying to conscientiously change unconsciously habitual stimming to more productive/effective? methods... when I made this ‘breakthrough’. Has anyone had a similar experience?

 

[tree]

Here are some threads on the topic of stimming.

Stimming
What's Your Stim?
Dangerous meltdown stratagies/harmful stim?
Negative Stimming Behavior?
Stimming frequencies
Mental Stimming

 

[Jerri]

Thanks!

 

[Tom]

When I'm in public I try and be more body aware so as to not do noticeable stimming. But I will do hidden ones, like shake my foot or twiddle my thumbs hidden under the table. At night I do this jerky hand flap and finger waving for a short while... in the darkness. It feels like I am shaking all the nervous twitches out and helps me relax to sleep. I rock back and forth just a few times in the same way.

 

[Progster]

I've never experienced that, that stimming can bring to the surface hidden/repressed memories. That is something that usually happens when I wake up during the night.

 

[LogicalMind]

Whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, whatever is worthy of thought...think about these...so that they may build you up

 

[Jerri]

Yes...but my motivation isn’t me. It’s my brother born about a year younger than I that I want to figure this out for. It nearly broke my mind literally. It did break his and he has been classified as “profoundly mentally retarded”. I know no one can ever restore his potential, but I aim to figure out what hurts him, make it stop, and make him understand that to me he is my hero...modelling his behaviour literally saved my life. So...it’s kinda a real time issue, not just philosophy.

Having said all that...I’m kinda super wired right now...but we’re so close in age...he must share the same trauma.

 

[Jerri]

I've never experienced that, that stimming can bring to the surface hidden/repressed memories. That is something that usually happens when I wake up during the night.

Could you have been directing you dreams...thinking intensely is a form of stimming, I believe, at least for me

 

[tree]

You want something to change for your brother
and it somehow involves stimming?

It isn't clear to me what it is you want.

 

[Jerri]

Well, I’ve recently learned that I don’t communicate well. And I’m super wired.

Only read if you want a long story...
I was super precocious as a child...I walked before my 9 month mark. My whole family is like this. J is only one year younger than me. At age 3 he started displaying odd behaviour...rocking...spacing out...hurting himself or others...loosing some language...regressing. He was officially diagnosed as severely mentally retarded. He was treated as such. He was shut down, marginalized, etc. At about age 7 he was enrolled in a program where 24 hours a day he was occupied .... flash cards...exercise...horrific breathing exercises....patterning...relearning creep,crawl,walk, etc. The whole rest of the family (6 sibs, 2 parents) were 100% involved one way or another.

The program got so much right...but so much wrong. My personal trauma is tied in with being forced to participate and torture him, and the cruel use of the word Retard. I did everything I could to protect myself and J while also consciously behaving in the exact opposite way as J.

I need to figure out how to teach him to stim without hurting himself. I need to restore his self esteem. But I can’t teach him, TIL I figure it out for myself. He’s minimally verbal.

I hope that clears up my intentions.

For the record...yes, I am a trauma victim with PTSD due to my upbringing.

 

[Judge]

Interesting. In my own case I can only cite that my stimming (pacing or stationary swaying) both relaxes me and helps me to concentrate if I so desire. Nothing more, nothing less.

I can be highly introspective at times, but stimming isn't something that initiates it.

 

[Progster]

Could you have been directing you dreams...thinking intensely is a form of stimming, I believe, at least for me

Possibly - if I was, I wasn't aware of doing it. Or it could just be that my mind is clear from any other sensory input and I can think clearer and have access to more memories.

 

[Jerri]

Interesting. In my own case I can only cite that my stimming (pacing or stationary swaying) both relaxes me and helps me to concentrate if I so desire. Nothing more, nothing less.

I can be highly introspective at times, but stimming isn't something that initiates it.

For me, I find I instinctively change my stims...probably through unconscious try and error...to get the desired effect? But I believe I haven’t been doing it mindfully (DBT, CBT) because I’ve been suppressing it so diligently. I believe I have been unconsciously hurting myself. I believe J is too...after all, stimming was absolutely unacceptable in our household.

 

[Jerri]

Possibly - if I was, I wasn't aware of doing it. Or it could just be that my mind is clear from any other sensory input and I can think clearer and have access to more memories.

Yes...that’s what I’m trying to get at...how to mindfully and conscientiously use this to heal and grow? I’m only at the self observation phase. I think I can figure out what I do...but not what I should do instead...to keep my mind/body both/same healthy.

 

[Judge]

For me, I find I instinctively change my stims...probably through unconscious try and error...to get the desired effect? But I believe I haven’t been doing it mindfully (DBT, CBT) because I’ve been suppressing it so diligently. I believe I have been unconsciously hurting myself. I believe J is too...after all, stimming was absolutely unacceptable in our household.

It's almost always something that is involuntary for me. In fact I usually end up being amused with myself when I discover I'm stimming. Just comes automatic in certain circumstances before I'm even aware of it.

 

[Jerri]

Whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, whatever is worthy of thought...think about these...so that they may build you up

Sorry...I couldn’t figure out how to reply to your message before. Yes...I’m a professional musician...woodwind specialist...at least before I unconsciously hurt myself and gave myself tendonitis so badly that I gradually withdrew and retreated from it. Then I started a new career...financial management...same kinda thing. Then I started a new career...learned computer programming from scratch and created the database still used for the occupational health clients. Definitely Aspie...numbers, music, science, clinical herbalist and natropath....

 

[LogicalMind]

Im proud of you Jennifer...

 

[Jerri]

Why? Cause I’m stimming uncontrollably on this topic? I am consciously doing it though...decision to pull plug or not to pull plug probably today.

Anyhoo...compartmentalizing...

Could the connections with ASD and hyper flexibility and connective tissue damage be related/the result to unconscious unmindful stimming?

 

[Lichi]

My theory on stimming is that it's something that is uncomfortable but it gives us relief in the fact that nothing bad happens. For instance I chew my lips. It hurts when I chew them. It gives me a physical feeling that I can feel. The fact that the pain seems so much more than the actual harm of it is soothing. Sort of like recreational drug use. The initial hit shakes you body as if you're going to die, but the actual high is the feeling of have stayed alive through.

As to your question I guess it's too each their own what will trigger this feeling and to what extent. I have some stims that are confined to little things, but they all depend on how sensitive I am in that specific sense.