Aspergers, ADD and special interests

[Alienated]

I have never had a consistent special interest, I cycle through them, but it's always a work of fiction of some kind - I focus on a specific story or character(s) - it can be a book, video game, movie, show, or any kind of media. It can last anywhere from weeks to years depending on what it is.

It's not something I can control, I can't choose what becomes a special interest. I can only try different things and see if anything "sticks".

It has to be something that is appealing, interesting and stimulating enough to my mind - to the point that I'm able to concentrate on it completely, 100%, all the time.
I need this strong focus point because I have an overactive mind, in order to calm it, otherwise it's chaos.

I have "regular" interests and hobbies too, this is something entirely different, it can only be one thing at a time, and I get more enjoyment from it than any other activity. It's extremely strong feelings, like having a crush. I feel "high".

My special interest is always on the back of my mind no matter what I do. I relate everything to my SI in some way. I daydream extensively, and am able to do a lot of boring and stressful things at the same time, on autopilot. I can get a break anytime and anywhere by thinking about my SI, I'm not limited to doing (reading, watching, playing, etc). It helps me cope with everything else, I'm much more functional and get much more done, even if my mind is partly somewhere else.
I don't like the term "maladaptive daydreaming" and don't think it applies in my case. I don't stop living or caring about my "real life". But there is no substitute for this - I guess it's a coping mechanism. It's necessary for my well-being. It's also intrinsic to who I am. I have always been like this.

If I don't find something new when one SI ends I feel empty and depressed. As soon as I find a new one, everything's good again.
This gap is hard to deal with, when it happens. It crushes my motivation and ability to concentrate and makes it hard to try new things. Sometimes I can pick up an old interest again, but I tire of everything eventually. There's always a conflict between my autistic side (craving sameness) and my ADD side (craving newness).
It's stressful. Sometimes I'm afraid that I will run out of potential special interests, I'm so picky and particular about what I like.

I wonder if I'm alone or if anyone else experiences special interests like this. Or just has intense reactions to fiction and has it as their primary interest.

 

[Tom]

Sometimes I'm afraid that I will run out of potential special interests, I'm so picky and particular about what I like.

That part seems unlikely. Perhaps you can convince youself via logic, that you don't need to worry. There is just too much out there and more created constantly.

 

[Qoyote]

Are you me?

I don't even have anything else to say, I'd just be copying your post

 

[AutisticMilly]

This is my exact experience with having a special interest. Since I can remember, it was always related to some sort of media: a video game, TV series, etc. as opposed to a broader topic, such as animals or technology. Sometimes it will be so specific that the focus is on one character. And, as you said, I don’t chose what becomes a special interest; they just kind of come and go.

This can make it harder to relate to other’s interests, because even though I am into anime/gaming and things of that nature, it is usually narrowed down to one franchise at a time (Not like it wasn’t hard enough to relate to people in the first place). It’s also difficult in the way that some autistic people look for employment based on their SI, and that is harder for me because as I mentioned, it is usually very specific. (this is a more personal example, but still wanted to bring it up). Despite all that, my special interests always bring me joy and I would never want to stop having them. Every one I have ever had still holds some value in my heart.

 

[Jeepcarpenter]

I.. wow.. I have had trouble discerning ‘special interests’ from hobbies and such ever since starting this journey.. it’s been something entirely complex for me to wrap my head around as I seem to be a jack of all trades (all technical and some creative ones anyways) as well as having a plethora of interests and hobbies.. but never once have I ever heard it explained so relatably..

to quote @Qoyote :Are you me?

When you put it like that I can easily discern many special interests at different periods of time..

-gears, complex machines and their design:
Can keep me occupied indefinitely as long as I have opportunity to problem solve or increase efficiency/quality.

-video games: dystopian protagonist like CyberPunk 2077 (waited anxiously 12yrs to be disappointed but still made a life of it), Horizon: Zero Dawn/Forbidden West, Mass Effect, and off-genre; Skyrim to name a few, most having to limit as I become a teenager again and just become absorbed in the game world.

-interactive movies/stories with a decent amount of depth: played the same text-based game for 15yrs, still create new stories in my head based from, still draw characters and landmarks/landscapes from yet can’t bring myself to play it anymore because I become so absorbed that I forget the rest of life.. literally.. VR would probably be just as bad, dreaming of since the first taste in ‘92 of Dactyl Nightmare and Legend Quest.

-lasting my entire life to date; anything relating to self-sustainability: green tech, agriculture or otherwise but largely, balanced eco-systems from plants and mammals down to environment and microbes.

-Aquaculture: though probably still falls under the above as I grow algae for infusoria, for daphnia, for small fish and amphipods, for tilapia and crayfish, for my family and chickens, for my family, for compost, for plants, darklings and algae.. and then the darklings, duckweed and algae get fed back to chickens and fish as well.. while the methane from compost col.. sorry, best I could figure to explain the chain as it circles around without diagram. The design of complex aquaculture systems as well, making most of my own systems and hardware as opposed to spending thousands on.

Never realized until you stated it but.. yeah, always do better when I’m thinking about one of those things, even if not actually doing anything relating to, just as long as it’s there in my mind piquing my interest, everything else is more fluid and natural. Thank you for enlightening my understanding.

 

[Suzanne]

I do not have any particular special interest either. I run out of interests and yep, like you say, there is no control of what becomes an interest.

Currently it is Korean things.

 

[Fino]

Lately, I've run out of interests and I just read about 6 hours a day.

 

[Alienated]

This is my exact experience with having a special interest. Since I can remember, it was always related to some sort of media: a video game, TV series, etc. as opposed to a broader topic, such as animals or technology. Sometimes it will be so specific that the focus is on one character. And, as you said, I don’t chose what becomes a special interest; they just kind of come and go.

This can make it harder to relate to other’s interests, because even though I am into anime/gaming and things of that nature, it is usually narrowed down to one franchise at a time (Not like it wasn’t hard enough to relate to people in the first place). It’s also difficult in the way that some autistic people look for employment based on their SI, and that is harder for me because as I mentioned, it is usually very specific. (this is a more personal example, but still wanted to bring it up). Despite all that, my special interests always bring me joy and I would never want to stop having them. Every one I have ever had still holds some value in my heart.

Exactly this: sometimes it's so narrow that I fixate on a single character, which is somewhat frustrating - there's not much to do with that interest, not much to discuss.

My SI is also often something obscure or old, that means no discussion or any kind of fandom. I don't need that to enjoy it, but I would like to find others to share my interest with. That makes it hard.
It's popular games and large franchises too, but like you say, one at a time. The complete list of my SIs wouldn't be very long. I stay obsessed with one thing for a long time.

My absolute favorites have some things in common, certain themes, certain traits in characters, a certain feel. But it's difficult to search based on that. There's just so much out there. I lack patience.

 

[Alienated]

Lately, I've run out of interests and I just read about 6 hours a day.

I'm impressed you can manage to do that. It's extremely hard for me when I'm depressed and "between obsessions".

 

[Alienated]

I have "regular" interests and hobbies too, this is something entirely different, it can only be one thing at a time, and I get more enjoyment from it than any other activity. It's extremely strong feelings, like having a crush. I feel "high".

When I describe how I experience "special interests", it's like I'm talking about a drug addiction. But it doesn't involve drugs. I've been like this my whole life and haven't been drawn to drugs or risk-taking behaviors. I'm diagnosed with ADHD (predominantly inattentive type).

When I've found something perfect, one of those long lasting interests that just keeps on giving, I feel euphoric just thinking about it. It's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. It's like a free constant source of euphoria or dopamine, especially in the early "newfound crush" stage of my obsession, and it can last a long time if it's one of those things that feel perfect and made for me.
I can enjoy other things in life, but nothing matches this feeling. I don't know what I'm looking for exactly, just that I want to feel like "that" again.

I'm not exaggerating any of this. Is it this intense for others with ASD? I've often wondered.

 

[Fino]

When I describe how I experience "special interests", it's like I'm talking about a drug addiction. But it doesn't involve drugs. I've been like this my whole life and haven't been drawn to drugs or risk-taking behaviors. I'm diagnosed with ADHD (predominantly inattentive type).

When I've found something perfect, one of those long lasting interests that just keeps on giving, I feel euphoric just thinking about it. It's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. It's like a free constant source of euphoria or dopamine, especially in the early "newfound crush" stage of my obsession, and it can last a long time if it's one of those things that feel perfect and made for me.
I can enjoy other things in life, but nothing matches this feeling. I don't know what I'm looking for exactly, just that I want to feel like "that" again.

I'm not exaggerating any of this. Is it this intense for others with ASD? I've often wondered.

It has been at times but not always.