Asperger's and Poor Memory for "Social Learning."

[katjac]

I am new to the site. I am a therapist who works with a lot of adults with Aspergers, and I have diagnosed people in a lot of different decades of life, from childhood through the 50s. I was fortunate to receive a lot of training in developmental and medical issues. This has been one of my specialties, and I seem to "get" people with Aspergers. My primary reason for posting is to ask for input on whether people on the spectrum have experienced problems with certain kinds of memory. I have worked with a person with AS who really seems to understand what I am saying in the session, about thoughts and behaviors and how they may or may not be ineffective, and input that I might give about their relationships out in the world, and how problems might be solved. Then the person comes into the session the next week, and it is sort of like we are starting from ground zero, like the person has retained their dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors, and the same things need to be said. Once again, at the time, the person seems to really understand and agree with what needs to be done. Some of the thoughts are negative obsessions about how the world is, and even have a flavor of paranoia, about certain things that people are thinking about him/her. It is hard to express what I'm observing, so I hope that I am making sense. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Sort of like it's Groundhog Day when it comes to an Aspie taking things on board, memory-wise, that have to do with making thought and behavioral changes, even when they seem to WANT to make the changes?

 

[Tarragon]

hi, well Ive noticed in the therapies that Ive had that I "get" what is being said, but it doesn't necessarily turn my head around. Maybe for me it's because I've spent my entire life observing the world around me, and so when the observation is turned inwards, I just look at myself as a separate person rather than actually me(!)

I had cbt which was great (though not geared specifically towards aspergers) but I don't really think about what we talked about now, except maybe in an abstract way occasionally.

I guess I can't really change my thoughts, but I have become aware of them. The aspie side of me has been revealed to me, but I'm ok with it as it's who I am. I don't really want to change my character into the conformist pattern that (apparently) is the 'norm'.

Ive come to the conclusion personally that it's a bit of a "live and let live" attitude, and as long as I'm left alone I'm happy!

My memory is quite appalling though, but I don't dwell on lists of things to do etc. This makes other people say I've got a bad memory, but really I don't bother myself with worrying about things like that. Ive got my own interests!

Don't know if this is any use!?

 

[Arashi222]

For me I tend to be a parrot. I learn by mimicking. That isn't just limited to social things but to concrete things too. I feel like its not really my memory that is the issue its more that while i understand some things until the situation is exactly like what I know I can handle things become difficult and its much easier being in your world than try to refocus and try something that you really don't know where it will get you. I am educated as a clinical social worker. Which actually has helped my AS in terms of socialness to some degree. I still take things really really hard and I still tend to take things personally and tend to be overly emotional or not so much emotional but sensitive to what is happening. I seem to over empathize....so I to be honest I think it might be different for each Aspie. Sorry that was rather long winded of me to get to my point.

 

[Ylva]

I don't know what you say to this person, but if it relies on their aural memory that might be a problem. I, for one, can't recall things that have been said to me in conversations. My brain tends to edit it out, so to speak, because much of it is smalltalk and not very concrete and there are few life-changing lessons to be had. Now, if it is not a conversation, if I'm just listening to a person talk, telling something, like their life story or a regular story or how to solve equations (as in lectures), I will remember. Not such that I replay it like an audio-tape, but I remember the content.

If it is profound enough to change my view on life, the universe and everything ? well, then it follows that I must change my ways to adapt to the new world I am seeing.

Thank you for "getting" us.

 

[Ylva]

Mostly I just take my mistakes to mean: "Don't do that again."

 

[Aalo]

I have understood that many other people also do this. Therapy sessions might be so overwhelming that everything can not be remembered and even if they are, those hardly are something to accumulate quickly into actions. I'm interested if there's difference with as person in this.

Of my own thoughts. I feel that no-one is ever really able to fully understand what other person meant by saying something. It's all just assumptions based their knowledge of situation and people involved, with somewhat great impact of personal feelings and experiences of the people who's observing. In that context I don't like to think that I would definitely be any kind of worse discussion partner than anyone else.
But it is true that while concentrating too much on the theoretical point of view the matter of discussion itself might get a bit far from my own thoughts. Also trying to grasp on what has been discussed earlier with this person in particular might result losing the red line of that current interaction. Still I can't feel like saying that this is anything characteristic just for as person. I guess no nt ever is every time able to carry on with their discussion partner either.

The sad thing is that those experiences of failing to succeed in social interactions are every time so different that I can't really make a rule out of them to being able to learn from these.


Ylva: I accidentally posted that message on wrong thread, and asked it to be deleted. But thanks for your reply

 

[csanon]

My advice would be to have your patient take notes during the session and re-write them and memorize them once they are home. During the session I spend so much mental focus trying to process things that I would remember little of it otherwise. Also, I have a short-term memory in general which only complicates things more.