I am 25 and I live with my aspie 12 year old nephew - my parents are the ones raising him. And I've always noticed that no matter what he never gives me any respect or listens to me. I mean, I don't want power over him or for him to bow down to me, but in our household I am regarded as one of the adults and authority figures. I can't really babysit him much anymore because he will not listen to me... at all. In fact, it's like I'm daring him to do the opposite of what I say. He doesn't dare do this to my parents or anyone else (unless he's in the middle of a melt down).
For instance, yesterday we went to a hotel where a family member was staying for a visit, and swam in the pool. As we went to leave he called shot gun. In our family, we have a strict rule that there are no kids allowed in the front seat. Adults only, or whomever is the oldest. Or if the kid is the only other one in the car, then they may sit in the front. Not to mention, this alleviates the arguing over who gets to sit in the front since it's him and three other kids.
I promptly told him he knows he isn't allowed in the front seat. To which he replied "But I called it. You weren't around so you snooze you lose." And that was when my mom intervened and told him he wasn't sitting in the front seat.
As we were heading out to the car, he took off running and climbed in the front seat. I opened the door and told him to get in the back, and he replied to me with "Why?!" I told him it was because 1. He isn't allowed, and 2. He needs to learn to show more respect. At which he teased, "Respect? What's that?"
I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out. I wasn't forceful or rough. To my mom she thinks I was just being petty and getting upset over a seat but I wasn't. I just get really frustrated with him not listening to me and not taking me seriously. I'm very stubborn and firm with what I say and do with him and I never give in to him.
On the way home he made sure to make it a pain in the arse. He kept rapidly lowering and raising the head rest to my seat, and he kept kicking the back of my seat. And he kept repeating "I called it, Katie."
When I stopped responding to him he start directing his behavior on his sister who was next to him. He dumped all of the contents of her pool bag out, and when she started singing along with the radio he'd say stuff like "Oh you are messing up so bad. Why don't you just shut up and stop singing, already? Nobody wants to hear you sing!"
I think I once read about how unless you're an established guardian or authority figure to a kid with AS that they will often view people as an equal or under them. And I wonder if that's the case here with me. Perhaps he doesn't view me as an adult or authority figure. I remember months ago we went to a waterpark and there was this hot tub area that my parents and I went to. He wanted to go in but my mom told him no - adults only as the sign said. He said "Then why does (mynamehere) get to go in?" My mom told him because I'm an adult. He then scoffed and said "No she isn't!" So I'm pretty sure he doesn't view me as an adult.
My dad has sat him down and discussed it with him and told him it is important for him to listen to what I say and obey me like he would them. I'm not bullying him or being mean, I'm just another adult and when I tell him to do something I do it for a reason. It didn't seem very effective.
For instance, yesterday we went to a hotel where a family member was staying for a visit, and swam in the pool. As we went to leave he called shot gun. In our family, we have a strict rule that there are no kids allowed in the front seat. Adults only, or whomever is the oldest. Or if the kid is the only other one in the car, then they may sit in the front. Not to mention, this alleviates the arguing over who gets to sit in the front since it's him and three other kids.
I promptly told him he knows he isn't allowed in the front seat. To which he replied "But I called it. You weren't around so you snooze you lose." And that was when my mom intervened and told him he wasn't sitting in the front seat.
As we were heading out to the car, he took off running and climbed in the front seat. I opened the door and told him to get in the back, and he replied to me with "Why?!" I told him it was because 1. He isn't allowed, and 2. He needs to learn to show more respect. At which he teased, "Respect? What's that?"
I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out. I wasn't forceful or rough. To my mom she thinks I was just being petty and getting upset over a seat but I wasn't. I just get really frustrated with him not listening to me and not taking me seriously. I'm very stubborn and firm with what I say and do with him and I never give in to him.
On the way home he made sure to make it a pain in the arse. He kept rapidly lowering and raising the head rest to my seat, and he kept kicking the back of my seat. And he kept repeating "I called it, Katie."
When I stopped responding to him he start directing his behavior on his sister who was next to him. He dumped all of the contents of her pool bag out, and when she started singing along with the radio he'd say stuff like "Oh you are messing up so bad. Why don't you just shut up and stop singing, already? Nobody wants to hear you sing!"
I think I once read about how unless you're an established guardian or authority figure to a kid with AS that they will often view people as an equal or under them. And I wonder if that's the case here with me. Perhaps he doesn't view me as an adult or authority figure. I remember months ago we went to a waterpark and there was this hot tub area that my parents and I went to. He wanted to go in but my mom told him no - adults only as the sign said. He said "Then why does (mynamehere) get to go in?" My mom told him because I'm an adult. He then scoffed and said "No she isn't!" So I'm pretty sure he doesn't view me as an adult.
My dad has sat him down and discussed it with him and told him it is important for him to listen to what I say and obey me like he would them. I'm not bullying him or being mean, I'm just another adult and when I tell him to do something I do it for a reason. It didn't seem very effective.
