I just realized I never actually made an introduction thread for myself. I posted in the generic introduce yourself thread and posted something on my profile, but as for my own introduction thread I never did. So I am now.
About me:
I am Angie and live in Canada. I am just about 50.
I was born as a sick child with a kidney disease, so anything off about me functionally was just seen as part of that. It wasn't until a fellow kidney patient who works with autistic adults asked if I was autistic that I started to look into it. Normally I do not run to look up everything someone asks me if I have, but in this case I wondered because I always felt I was different somehow.
For a couple of decades now I thought I was different because perhaps my disease or my upbringing or my parents or abusive kids as school growing up or being the only girl with brothers or a combination of all of those to certain degrees. It had never occurred to me that it could be something completely different! Until a few months ago.
I had thought of Autistic people as those I see in Church flapping their ears or covering their ears up when music starts or talking suddenly in a loud voice, seemingly unaware of the need to be quiet and talk in a hushed tone in certain situations. I had some idea that there was some sort of degree system. A sort of spectrum. But I never really looked into it, as it never really pertained to me directly. At least that is what I thought. I had no reason to look more into Autism as my focus was always on Kidney Disease and Depression and Dyslexia and keeping my kidney site free from spammers and a manipulator who was later caught by the FBI (ya long story I won't get into but had very little to do with me but targeted the sick and vulnerable).
When I started researching Autism in Adults, I realized that there were a LOT of things about me that were very much like those I watched in videos. I also took a couple online Autism Quizzes to see if I was Autistic. I learned that those sites could not diagnose you but give you an idea if you might be and should pursue a diagnosis.
So I am currently waiting for my family doctor to get a psychiatrist for me, as the one I had for my depression moved his practice up north, suddenly leaving me without one. According to online tests, I am most likely high on the functioning side of the autism spectrum. I am anti-social, mask a lot with family, and don't mind being all alone with my computer. I am good with computers and figuring things out and work on my parents computers when I have the time. My parents have been separated for a long time, but I am on good terms with both of them separately. My brothers do not necessarily understand me, but they love me. I grew up with my parents focused on my health and not expecting much out of me. I had no friends, did terrible in school but excellent in art. An art teacher suggested my mom put me into an art school, but she said no, that she would not "reward" me with "drawing" when my grades were so bad. I use a browser plugin to help me type and spell correctly, and that helps a lot with my dyslexia. I can understand code better than I can understand, read and write English, even though it is my native tongue. Code just makes more logical sense to me as it does not break its own rules and there is no need for proper grammar in code. I love computers. I understand them. I find people, however, hard to understand. I have lost friends who were frustrated at me, not realizing that I upset them. One particular friend said that I must not care if I don't even know how I hurt him.
I have always been the odd one. The black sheep. The outcast. I mask a lot to appear normal, but really I am not. However, I finally accept myself. I think that just comes with age.
When I have taken tests, they differ from time to time. I took one on May 21st, 2023 and this was the result.
It seems I am improving on how I interact with others. Yay!
About me:
I am Angie and live in Canada. I am just about 50.
I was born as a sick child with a kidney disease, so anything off about me functionally was just seen as part of that. It wasn't until a fellow kidney patient who works with autistic adults asked if I was autistic that I started to look into it. Normally I do not run to look up everything someone asks me if I have, but in this case I wondered because I always felt I was different somehow.
For a couple of decades now I thought I was different because perhaps my disease or my upbringing or my parents or abusive kids as school growing up or being the only girl with brothers or a combination of all of those to certain degrees. It had never occurred to me that it could be something completely different! Until a few months ago.
I had thought of Autistic people as those I see in Church flapping their ears or covering their ears up when music starts or talking suddenly in a loud voice, seemingly unaware of the need to be quiet and talk in a hushed tone in certain situations. I had some idea that there was some sort of degree system. A sort of spectrum. But I never really looked into it, as it never really pertained to me directly. At least that is what I thought. I had no reason to look more into Autism as my focus was always on Kidney Disease and Depression and Dyslexia and keeping my kidney site free from spammers and a manipulator who was later caught by the FBI (ya long story I won't get into but had very little to do with me but targeted the sick and vulnerable).
When I started researching Autism in Adults, I realized that there were a LOT of things about me that were very much like those I watched in videos. I also took a couple online Autism Quizzes to see if I was Autistic. I learned that those sites could not diagnose you but give you an idea if you might be and should pursue a diagnosis.
So I am currently waiting for my family doctor to get a psychiatrist for me, as the one I had for my depression moved his practice up north, suddenly leaving me without one. According to online tests, I am most likely high on the functioning side of the autism spectrum. I am anti-social, mask a lot with family, and don't mind being all alone with my computer. I am good with computers and figuring things out and work on my parents computers when I have the time. My parents have been separated for a long time, but I am on good terms with both of them separately. My brothers do not necessarily understand me, but they love me. I grew up with my parents focused on my health and not expecting much out of me. I had no friends, did terrible in school but excellent in art. An art teacher suggested my mom put me into an art school, but she said no, that she would not "reward" me with "drawing" when my grades were so bad. I use a browser plugin to help me type and spell correctly, and that helps a lot with my dyslexia. I can understand code better than I can understand, read and write English, even though it is my native tongue. Code just makes more logical sense to me as it does not break its own rules and there is no need for proper grammar in code. I love computers. I understand them. I find people, however, hard to understand. I have lost friends who were frustrated at me, not realizing that I upset them. One particular friend said that I must not care if I don't even know how I hurt him.
I have always been the odd one. The black sheep. The outcast. I mask a lot to appear normal, but really I am not. However, I finally accept myself. I think that just comes with age.
When I have taken tests, they differ from time to time. I took one on May 21st, 2023 and this was the result.
It seems I am improving on how I interact with others. Yay!
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