Aspie group IRL

[DogwoodTree]

I've been digging through threads here from the past couple of months...sorry for all the "...liked your post from 1,000 years ago" alerts y'all must be getting, lol.

Has anyone here found an aspie support group IRL? Have you gone? What was it like?

If you've not been to one, would you go if you did find a group like that? This one is specifically for adults with Asperger's, even self-diagnosed.

I don't live in a particularly metro area, but did find an aspie group in a nearby town. Figured I'd check it out, but really wanting to know more about what to expect!

 

[Chisleu]

Never been, but I would LOVE to go if I could find one. Ooooo, now I have a new thing to research!

 

[Turk]

I've never been to one. It's not really an idea I've entertained before. I think maybe I'd like to, buy I still carry the stigma that Aspergers is a dirty little secret. Maybe one day, when I've accepted who I am, I'll consider it.

 

[Ereth]

I'm part of an impromptu Aspie book club. A few local Aspie friends and I (and anybody else around them who's interested, regardless of neurological status) meet up on Skype every week. When our schedules permit it, we meet up in person.

 

[DogwoodTree]

...I still carry the stigma that Aspergers is a dirty little secret. Maybe one day, when I've accepted who I am, I'll consider it.

Well, that was one of the attractions of this being in a "nearby town" instead of here at home. I'm still not ready to tell my family yet...only DH, my pastors, and one friend know about this (I have a big family, so it's a big deal for information like this to get out).

That said...this group apparently does family-oriented activities where spouse and kids are invited. Considering that two of my kids show aspie tendencies, I'm thinking it might be a good idea to give them some role models of people who accept it, work with it, aren't ashamed of it. I'm not there yet, but hoping...

I emailed the leader/founder of the group. He said he went through a year-long "funk" before accepting it, and he said that's when things started to come together for him.

I have got to figure out how to connect with people through this dark, glass cage all around me. I'm dying in here. "Lonely" doesn't begin to do justice to the experience. It's always been like this, it's just that now I'm reaching a point where I'm no longer willing to lie to myself, that "it's okay", "it'll get better soon", "all you need is [this] or [that] and you'll feel better", "just keep trying and it'll work out." D@#& this hurts.

 

[Antonio]

I went to a group for aspies. They hinted that I didn't seem like I had aspergers because I can hold down a job and I'm married. Also I was surprised by how social they were. Maybe because they already knew each other? Anyway I felt out of place.

 

[Tyler Ford]

So far, this has been the first Aspie group I've been on. I like it here. I try my best to keep my job though I have to force myself to communicate with other people. This is my first job too but I admit the people there are exceptional One of the employees that works there told me she has a son with Asperger's too so she understands what I go through.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I went to a group for aspies. They hinted that I didn't seem like I had aspergers because I can hold down a job and I'm married. Also I was surprised by how social they were. Maybe because they already knew each other? Anyway I felt out of place.

In my email, I told the leader that I'm married, 4 kids, all of that. I said I don't really fit the stereotypical aspie profile. He said not to be surprised at the types of people who have Asperger's, that it's all kinds of people from all walks of life. I don't know if he's typical of the group's attitude about it or not...

 

[grapesicles]

That does sound really fun - after my diagnosis they did mention group meetings, but I never got any news on it after specifically asking to be sent more details.

Would it be completely awkward, or would people be more open to talking to each other knowing they're so similar? I'd probably be so nervous but would make a big effort to talk to others. And then know I can go hide at home afterwards.

 

[paloftoon]

Dogwood Tree, I've personally been to many IRL. Many cater to parents of autistic kids, the kids themselves, or young adults, generally ones attached to their parents. There are a few that do a good job with independent adults, but the best ones tend to be advocacy ones, especially ones where they want their leaders to be autistic. Part of it is what you're looking for and what fits for you too.

If there are a lot of NTs in the group, you might feel out of place because they may think they understand, but then they still treat you differently even if you act appropriately. That just means they don't get it at all

Good luck!

 

[DogwoodTree]

If there are a lot of NTs in the group, you might feel out of place because they may think they understand, but then they still treat you differently even if you act appropriately. That just means they don't get it at all

This is exactly why I hesitate to tell anyone else about my dx. I just don't think they'll ever be able to treat me normally again!

 

[zurb]

Just a thought - do with it what you please - but if it's socialization that you are after, not aspie support, then you could also try something like a Toastmasters Club. They vary a lot, so it's worth visiting different ones. IMHO, the best ones are the more formal ones. If you arrive close to time, your one on one interaction is limited. If you participate, it's a more formal/planned style of communication (except the impromptu speaking - but initially as a guest you don't have to do that) that some may find easier. And it's very supportive. How much you socialize after depends on how quickly you choose to leave.
I was really scared to join to start with, but really enjoyed it once involved.