Aspie guy with nt girl

[Max s]

My girl is nt and very social! I was wondering if it's good for me (not to social) to be with a nt girl. She is always with friends while I stay home. I have always dated nt girls and this girl is the most social. She accepts me and loves me for me. She is also my ex but we are trying to make things work. Any advice???

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

My girl is nt and very social! I was wondering if it's good for me (not to social) to be with a nt girl. She is always with friends while I stay home. I have always dated nt girls and this girl is the most social. She accepts me and loves me for me. She is also my ex but we are trying to make things work. Any advice???

Like your new avatar. Not sure I'm tracking your question. She's an ex and you're trying to get back together, is that the gist?

 

[Max s]

Like your new avatar. Not sure I'm tracking your question. She's an ex and you're trying to get back together, is that the gist?

Yeah pretty much and she is extremely social. Do you think that's good for an unsocial person. And thanks about the pic

 

[Nisk]

That's really a question you'd need to ask yourself.

Are you alright with her being a social butterfly?
Can you accept that she'll be hanging around other guys?
Is she cool with you being absent from a big part of her life?

 

[Gordy]

I am married to an NT who is very sociable. She limits that a bit for me and in return I put up with going to parties and act the part as much as I can. It leaves me exhausted afterwards, but she accepts this and gives me recovery time.

Is this woman likely to be able to accommodate your needs? If not, your mental health is likely to suffer in the relationship.

 

[Suzanne]

YES and the reason: because you say she accepts you, which should mean that if you end up being fed up of staying back and decide to join her, she will be there to ease the way for you; perhaps whispering that someone is joking or to not take something too literal etc etc.

I am married to an nt and he is ANYTHING but social and it is a DISASTER for me. But if he were social and refused to accept me how I am, then that would also be a disaster.

We are human and thus, made to be social, which is why we suffer so for being unable to be social; why there is so much conflict in our hearts! Wanting to escape but not wanting to escape; wanting to be accepted but not being accepted; staying in our comfort zone, but hating staying in our comfort zone. All points to the fact that we are designed for social interactions, even if we are chronic with it, due to how our brains are wired.

I can cope quite well with about 5 people, all sitting around a table, but only if I know them and feel comfortable with them; but even then, I do come out of myself and join in, even if there is a bit of discomfort.

Any more than that and I am lost!

 

[Max s]

YES and the reason: because you say she accepts you, which should mean that if you end up being fed up of staying back and decide to join her, she will be there to ease the way for you; perhaps whispering that someone is joking or to not take something too literal etc etc.

I am married to an nt and he is ANYTHING but social and it is a DISASTER for me. But if he were social and refused to accept me how I am, then that would also be a disaster.

We are human and thus, made to be social, which is why we suffer so for being unable to be social; why there is so much conflict in our hearts! Wanting to escape but not wanting to escape; wanting to be accepted but not being accepted; staying in our comfort zone, but hating staying in our comfort zone. All points to the fact that we are designed for social interactions, even if we are chronic with it, due to how our brains are wired.

I can cope quite well with about 5 people, all sitting around a table, but only if I know them and feel comfortable with them; but even then, I do come out of myself and join in, even if there is a bit of discomfort.

Any more than that and I am lost!

Thank you so much!!

 

[Max s]

I am married to an NT who is very sociable. She limits that a bit for me and in return I put up with going to parties and act the part as much as I can. It leaves me exhausted afterwards, but she accepts this and gives me recovery time.

Is this woman likely to be able to accommodate your needs? If not, your mental health is likely to suffer in the relationship.

She stays home sometimes and it's amazing and sometimes I go with her to like the mall or something.

 

[Judge]

My girl is nt and very social! I was wondering if it's good for me (not to social) to be with a nt girl. She is always with friends while I stay home. I have always dated nt girls and this girl is the most social. She accepts me and loves me for me. She is also my ex but we are trying to make things work. Any advice???

Focus first and foremost on why she became your "ex" in the first place. Your answer may be right there.

Use whatever hindsight you have in the present to make a nicer future for the both of you.

 

[MEDL86]

My girl is nt and very social! I was wondering if it's good for me (not to social) to be with a nt girl. She is always with friends while I stay home. I have always dated nt girls and this girl is the most social. She accepts me and loves me for me. She is also my ex but we are trying to make things work. Any advice???

Based on my experience, if you find someone who accepts your situation, you're probably doing very well. Most relationships don't last with such a difference, but if you find the right person, it can be really good.

My girl does her best to encourage me to be more social, but she's seen firsthand what happens when I do, so she understands my position on the matter. I personally don't like social situations, but I'd go with her to places where she wants to hang out with other people to socialize.

Relationships as a whole, tend to only work when both parties to the relationship understand that there are situations that can arise, and it takes both sides to work at it.