Aspie MtF in need of help

[SailorMars1994]

......

 

[JackSkellington]

What's going on?

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Don't be afraid to share. I think the vast majority of us, especially the regulars on here are understanding. There's other transgender people on here too.

 

[toothless]

its ok to share sailormars1994,its very accepting of LGBT here. if you would feel safer you could share it on the private board.

 

[James Hardy]

i dont give a **** what you are ill help how i can just give me something to work with.

 

[SailorMars1994]

Hey everyone.. Thanks for the concerns. I did write a 2 paragraph thingy last night but no one commented it on it then so i felt awkward and lame so i took it down. Long story short I am in the process of transitioning to female. I am living as such at the moment FWIW.

The thing is, i was living as a female before for a bit but I had to go back to male for a period of time for reasons I wish not to discuss. The issue was, something odd had happened to me when I went back. I found myself having what I would be later told was meltdowns.

When having to be a man again I would feel super anxious and gross I woulld litterly start ripping out my hair, biting myself, punching myself in the head, bawling my eyes out crying and could be very very confrontation and aggressive. These meltdowns would happen whenever.. On the street around strangers, driving the car, in living room with my mom and even in a room or isolated area by myself.

To be honest i never recall doing that ever before. I get anxious and do have a lot of anxiety disorder but never to that extreme. I told a Dr. about it all and he gave me a presdcribtion for respiridone which is to help cool down the meltdown that people with ASD have. I was diagnosed with being an aspie in 2009 at age 15. And over all, the things that would be something I would fixate on were gerneally good. Things I like, such as politics, law, history, dates, numbers, ect.

However, my fixations turned negative when I went back to being a ''dude'' and I already had bad dysphoria with being a guy. I guess this just kinda scared me, since living female again I really dont get like this but it still scares me.

What have you all done to cope with these meltdowns as they happen, and to the trans people here what did you to to kill the dysphoria and the meltdowns?? thanks <3

 

[The Penguin]

I'm glad you decided to put you text back for your thread. Like I said to you before, it might take some time for someone to reply to a post.

But yes like @toothless said, if you feel more comfortable using the private thread, you can post stuff there too. Also, there are times staff is willing to transfer a post to a private thread.

 

[SailorMars1994]

Thanks for filling me in !!!

 

[Aspiegirl75]

Well, I personally have never had a meltdown to such extent, but my heart goes out to you!
Already as an Aspie, you are overwhelmed every day in an NT world, so I think compounding on to that going back to an unpreferred/hated situation (male) took its toll on you!
I'm glad this isn't happening anymore, but just throwing medication at the problem is not the answer. I'm all for medications, don't get me wrong, but you need to talk to a therapist and identify your triggers and learn ways to cope as well.
This is my humble opinion , I hope it helps and I wish you peace and serenity!

 

[SailorMars1994]

Thanks girl!! I am on the same page. I would rather not be hooked to medication for life, even tho I may need to , that remains up in the air. Talk therpay doesnt do too much for me. My issues as everyone i see says are locked deep in the subconious. So I am going to be starting EMDR when i move to Maniotba this summer !! Thanks for the imput Aspiegirl! hope to talk soon again!!