Aspie radar? As-dar?

[arthurfakaya]

Even before I suspected I had Aspergers I believe I innately / subconsciously gravitated to other Aspies, without realising I was doing it. And other Aspies would gravitate to me. Similar to the phenomenon of gay-dar. Can anyone else relate to this or am I alone in this?:S

 

[Gomendosi]

I would think all my Christmases had come at once if I obtained the friendship of an aspie, to fall in love with one would be far more awesome still, and we’d be like twins!

Trouble is, and this always makes me chuckle, the thought of a social outing to meet other aspergical persons is (at least for me) laughable. See, I am now, more social than I have ever been in my entire life but, only because I control it in the majority, any situation I am in where social interaction is taking place is by my own choosing and I can walk away at any time, therefore I am safe, even if a chance encounter happens I know it is within the scope of what I planned for. Unless it is within these parameters I don’t like meeting new people nor will I allow myself to be placed in a situation where that is likely.
(I thought it would be alright not too may years ago and went when invited, to my bosses birthday party, big mistake) My own birthday is coming up and someone I know suggested that as it falls in the same month as theirs and as I have nobody else to make a party with, I could just share theirs, as I know not a one of their friends and family my polite but vehement refusal wasn’t taken well.

After mentioning all that you may feel I have lost the point, but give me a minute… I met an aspergical person of the female variety while I was working a couple months ago, I inherently knew she was ASD for the simple fact that I was supremely comfortable in her presence and while I was talking to her I felt like we were both completely normal, until other people had to spoil things. No it wasn’t love or lust, she isn’t my type, and I have never seen her again but, I do think we are able to make educated guesses based on our own behavior; and I would conclude we don’t know another aspie from a bar of soap until interaction begins and so wouldn’t recognize one if they just went by without a word as we are all masters of disguise!

The idea of like recognizing like is a very nice concept but I for one put no stock in it, otherwise I would be married with 2 children by now, but let’s see what everyone else has to say on the matter as I too am intrigued now ; ]

 

[King_Oni]

Well, if I look at my friends, or at least, people with whom I get along fine, 5 of them in total;

2 have an official Asperger's diagnosis, 1 is on the High functioning autism spectrum, 1 is so obvious, but he doesn't need a diagnosis because he's doing fine without it (in getting a degree and all) and another one, my girlfriend, is pretty much so obvious, but they're still sorting out what exactly her deal is. But diagnosis imminent so to say.

That's the motley crew I get in touch with when I'm not online. So... yeah, for me, I think I kinda have that radar, lol

The bigger problem I feel is; how much time I do want to spend with non-aspies (or at least people that are NOT on the autistic spectrum), that will not last, it never has. It's one of those cases, that if you can last long enough with me, chances are you're an aspie. In the past, the only stable "friendship" I have held besides ones I mentioned earlier, was a long-term relationship, and looking at myself and other people on the spectrum, I'm quite sure she'd qualify as an aspie as well... and to top if off, she's the sister of that one guy who doesn't need his diagnosis cause he's doing fine with whatever it is he does.

Me and NT people is a terrible match... the only NT people (and even take NT with a grain of salt) with whom I can get along "decently fine" are my parents, and even my mom took courses in child psychology to get along with me when I was younger (not neccesarily because she wanted to know what was wrong, but more in a way on how to handle me, my anger issues and my self-harm issues). And my dad suffered from major brain trauma about 10 years ago, so he's equally messed up (in a good way). I never got along well with him before.

So in that sense; yes... if people aren't put off by how I am, and to some degree can identify with me, we're going along fine... it's just identification goes only that far. Most of the time there's this point... a tipping point, and that's where people break off. If you can stay past that crucial point, better make an appointment at the local therapist.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

I don't know how finely-tuned my "aspie radar" is, but every once in a while, I'm around someone who sets it off a little, frequently when I'm at the public library. I really wish it wouldn't be so awkward/rude to ask complete strangers if they have AS (of course, a lot of people who have it probably don't know it).

 

[Bay]

As far as I know I don't know another Aspie, and I'm not sure if it is reason enough to befriend someone. It would be nice to be around someone who instinctively understood me, but I don't know if that person being an Aspie guarantees that. Is it a reason to befriend someone, do you think?

IContainMultitudes, I like your plague doctor avatar, by the way.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

IContainMultitudes, I like your plague doctor avatar, by the way.

Thanks, it's a picture of a costume I saw outside of a store in Venice when I went to Italy about a month ago.

 

[Arashi222]

I was thinking about this a lot. I think that for me its kinda sometimes that I can tell, but I think that's my social work training kicking in not necessarily my AS honing in on another AS member. You know? I wish I could say it was AS-radar but to be honest I think for me its just my training in the DSM as a social worker and being diagnosed myself. I think it would be nice to actually work with AS people though (just a side thought).

 

[Bay]

Venice is one of my favorite places on earth. Oops. That was supposed to be a "reply with quote".

 

[arthurfakaya]

As far as I know I don't know another Aspie, and I'm not sure if it is reason enough to befriend someone. It would be nice to be around someone who instinctively understood me, but I don't know if that person being an Aspie guarantees that. Is it a reason to befriend someone, do you think?

I don't think that simply being an Aspie necessarily makes someone worthwhile to be friends with. I just personally find that the sort of people who appreciate (or tolerate) my dry humour, my love of word-play, my introversion, or my unconventional thinking are more likely to be Aspies than NTs. It's usually long after such a friendship develops that it becomes apparent the other person is an Aspie.

 

[Bay]

I would love to meet some of the Aspies here, IRL. The regulars are delightful and I feel as though I am among friends.

 

[Douglas_MacNeill]

I was tempted to call it ASDIC (Aspergers Syndrome Detection In Community),
by analogy with the original ASDIC (Allied Submearine Detection Investigating
Committee). The original ASDIC device is what we call sonar today.

 

[Bubblepig]

Sometimes I get feelings about people, even strangers or people on TV, and something about them just makes me think, "I wonder if they're autistic?"
Often it's the way they talk, particularly in men for some reason. Has anybody been watching "24 Hours in A&E"? There was a man on a few weeks ago who had fallen off his bike and the way he talked just screamed "Asperger's" to me. I was watching with my older brother, and I glanced at him to see if he was thinking the same thing, and he smiled because he was.