Aspies with memory problems?

[Kneghx]

I have a particularly atrocious memory. I can forget anything anytime. I'll forget my friend's name, I'll forget to eat, I'll forget how to do basic things like how to put my car in gear or how to cook dinner. Those are just the worst examples, needless to say I have the same standard memory problems that most people experience also, just more often. Where's my wallet? Why did I walk into this room? What was I about to write down? Naturally, writing things down is the difference between me being a ward of the state and a quasi-functional human. But I'll often forget things before I can write them down or forget to write them down entirely. An important thought will run through my head and it will never trigger my Internal write-that-down alarm. But this is a small part of the larger problem, *anything* I do to try and help me remember things is subject to being forgotten. I'll forget to write things down, I'll forget to bring my voice recorder, I'll forget I *have* a voice recorder, etc etc. I've seen 3 neurologists, I've had an EEG and 2 brain MRIs, all clear. The neurologists have all sat and done evaluations on me to test my memory but the trouble with those is that when I concentrate my memory is mostly normal. So In the context of a short doctor's visit where I'm trying extra hard to remember, I pass. But then I go back to my normal life and I *forget* to concentrate on remembering. I've tried to train myself but I can't remember to do it. I'll have written and digital reminders to concentrate on remembering but 10 or 20 minutes later I'll forget again and if I get too many reminders they just blend into the background of my life and I don't notice them anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I was on meds for ADD for a while but that didn't seem to make any difference either. If I only forgot little things it wouldn't be so bad but I've forgotten to pay a bill for for 3 months, I've forgotten to go to work, there's nothing I can't forget.
I've read about aspies having memory problems. I don't know if this is what other people experience or if it's usually simpler than all that. What's your experience?

 

[King_Oni]

Clearly forgetting something hasn't been a significant impact in your life. I mean, if I'd forget to eat at some point my body will remind me I have to eat. Unless I'm really stubborn and I'll starve myself. And the list goes on where things forgotten haven't been of life threatening circumstance. And because of this there's no mention of putting you in a home cause you're not a direct danger to yourself (and others).

If you you're as forgetful as you claim, I wonder how you obtained a license to operate a car (assuming you have a license and don't drive without documentation). Or actually managed to get somewhere in life in general. I don't mean this as a snide remark. But if you're that forgetful one might even wonder how you got through high school or haven't locked yourself out of your own house during a cold winter (again; assuming something in that you live in an area that has somewhat severe winters). And like I said, this list goes on about predicaments you can put yourself in.

I'm somewhat forgetful, but I've been diagnosed with AD(H)D. So perhaps that's part of why I'm somewhat scatterbrained at times. Another reason might be, is that I just don't care for a lot of these things in life that seem important. I have my own agenda so to say and a lot of basic things in life are not on that list. However, there are a few things I've made... well, I guess a habit of. For instance; I always have my wallet in my right back pocket of the pants I'm wearing. And if I'm not wearing pants, my wallet is still in those pants for when I put them on later. Of course you could say "but what if I forget where my pants are?" simply put; why would you take of your pants in a random place and go on without them? Chances are you put your pants off for a good reason (for instance, to go to bed) and thus they are pretty much in the same place. And unless you're careless they probably end up at the same place they always do. Forgetting to cook dinner can be fixed by putting a can of what's for dinner on the kitchen counter so you'll be reminded visually there's food waiting to be prepared when you're hungry. Unless of course, you forget where the kitchen is. But at that point I'm surprised you're still functional and have a grasp of language, find your way to a forum and can address your problem and state how many MRI's you had.

My other experience about forgetting things is my dad, who had a brain stroke about a decade ago. He's not extremely forgetful, but things slip his mind and he needs to be reminded about things a lot. Over time I noticed how he can do things by himself if just being put in the right environment. Perhaps it's good that my mom is around (and sometimes I'm around) to give him directions. I'm quite sure he'd be in a home if he was on his own... and from what I read in your story, and compare it to him, he's relatively well off.

I suppose you could write a list of tasks to do and put it on every wall in the house... use a big font, so you at least know "wake up, go to work, cook when home" and whatever things you do on a daily basis. Make a list on your walls what stuff you need to bring along; keys, phone, wallet and whatever you carry around. If you make a list big enough (like, on a big piece of paper; not a yellow post-it, but I'm talking a A4 or even A3 sized paper) you most likely wont miss it, unless you purposely look the other way. Put it on a door, since that's one place you tend to look at before opening it... And I might also suggest that such a list needs to go with a big header/title so you know what the list is for.

 

[Archer36]

I'm experiencing exactly the same thing as you. I do pretty much all what you described in your post. I don't forget to go to work tho ... but I sometimes go to work and realize its a holiday ... and I'm like "damn ... i forgot about this."

On the morning, its a huge battle for me to leave home and not forgetting anything. As I said in a previous post, I tend to always live in the future ... I'm always trying to be efficient at everything and in my head, I always see the next task I have to do ... so like you, I'm like "Ok, i need my wallet, its in my bedroom .." ... so I go in the bedroom and i'm like "what am I doing here?" .. because my mind was already thinking about the next task ... that cleared my short term memory and replaced it with other thoughts ... My memory is working fine, but its over used by my anxious brain that is always thinking ahead.

I don't have many advice for you. I didn't find a fix for this trait of personality. I just try to always put my things at the same place. Or put there where you have no choice to see them or feel them ... If you always lose your car keys, just put them inside your shoe as soon as you get in. Stuff like that.

Also, on a more personal level, I noticed a big improvement in my head when I changed my diet. I don't want to put any reference of what i'm doing here since its a bit off topic and it seems to trigger violent reactions, like religion and politic topics do. I had bad experience in the past. But feel free to message me if you are interested and I'll give you some pointers.

 

[Christy]

I can relate to what you're saying, but not as badly. I have moments when I stop and think "Now how do I do this again?" with the most basic things I've done a thousand times over. It's the same when driving to a place where I have to stop and work through the route backwards until I remember the link to where I currently am.

The worst for me is remembering conversations. I will draw a complete blank on a period of time where I have had a discussion with someone, and I may or may not remember later. This happens at work where my boss will call me in the afternoon to follow up how I went on the tasks from our conversation in the morning... and I won't have any clue what he's talking about. This has caused me big issues. Apparently I went through the process of helping my friend pick colours for her kitchen with the paint chips and everything, but I have no recollection of this at all. She and her husband assure me I did do this though.

When I was a kid I would forget to get ready for school, I would forget to shower, I would forget I had homework. My parents had four kids and the only way they survived was to make our household run to a tight schedule. So in order to help me, they extended that schedule into great detail for me. Consequently I am a creature of habit, and I work everything to a routine. I know where my keys are because when I walk in the front door, I always put my handbag in the same place, and I always put my keys back into the handbag. If I deviate from this routine, I am likely to lock myself out of the house, so I never allow myself to deviate.

I am also a big one for lists, and for taking notes.

 

[Turk]

Im pretty sure this is very common for most of us, although some of what your saying is on the severe side. The Aspie mind, works in overdrive most of time, trying to process information, without the same priority mechanisms, as other ppl. We live in the past, present and future, all at the same time. Hell if we were to verbalize what goes thru our minds, we'd all be wards of the state.
My mind is flighty and heavily influenced by anxiety, which has dramatic effects on memory. Ive even been known to shove my wife into a store, to avoid the oncoming person, whose name ive forgotten. Dont like doing intros without a name, other than awkward.
Ive given up trying to remember too much, because something just as important, falls out the otherside of my brain. I now use my mobile phone for everything. Dates, times and important events with audible alarms. Yes it can bloody annoying, with the ammout of times it goes off, but this has become the expansion drive for my brain. The only discipline, that ive had to practice, is to enter the reminder immediately and carry my phone, at all times. It doesnt help with everything but it does empower me to be reliable.

 

[Rob]

I definitely have memory problems. I cannot remember spoken instructions that are longer than a few words. I frequently misplace things, especially my bank debit card, my car keys, and a host of other things. I am so afraid of bringing my wallet with me for fear of misplacing it or losing it. To cope with this, I bundle my tiny ID cards with a bunch of notepaper so I have less chance of having it disappear entirely from the planet! And I cannot count the number of notes I have regarding my work duties and performance. I have a diagnosed learning disability, so that usually means all kinds of reminders and notes.

 

[142857]

Yes, this sounds very familiar. I had my electricity cut off last week because I forgot to pay the bill (got it sorted out the next morning).

Over time we develop coping mechanisms for this sort of absent-mindedness. Writing things down, as you do, is a good one. Another thing I do automatically is that I never close a door that might lock on me without having one hand - literally - on my keys.

At the same time I have an awesome memory for detail, I can often remember just about all the words of songs that I have only heard a couple of times on the radio years ago, and high school was too easy as I could memorise stuff in an hour or 2 that other kids took months to remember.

The stereotype of the "absent minded professor" is probably based on an aspie/autistic trait.
Absent-minded professor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And a couple of stories I found about Albert Einstein's legendary absent mindedness:


When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was
going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not
recognise him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The
driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton
knows.Do you want to meet him?". Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot
my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home
and did not even collect his fare from him .
================================================== ====================
Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor
came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came
to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his
ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked
in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside
him. He still couldn't find it.
The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you
are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'
Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle
punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around
and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his
seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't
worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure
you bought one.'
Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I
don't know is where I'm going.''


from here: Einstein the absent-minded

 

[Rob]

It's interesting that Einstein had these experiences made public for the world to know. Especially is this beneficial for us on the autism spectrum.
It's interesting that many schoolmates asked me the answers to many questions regarding chemistry, math, etc. with the question, "Hey Einstein, what's the answer to this?" Often these students were quite well-built while I was very thin and awkward with professorial-looking glasses. But I had to write notes on my hands and notes on paper so I would not forget things. With lab work I was quite dyspraxic - the rest of my lab group did all the handy work while I just sat and observed. Boy did I pay for it in my later education! But now that I have my diagnosis I now know that everything I went through comes together and makes sense to me. Even though I got 90% in many of my academic subjects I could not put my knowledge into practice in the real world. Now it makes sense.

 

[Sheria]

I understand exactly what you are saying and can relate. They called me miss forgetful growing up and its no better now but there are odd things that I'm extremely bright in. I guess this can be part of your dx of asbergers and myself too...keep on pressing on

 

[Sev]

I can memorise long numbers extremely quickly, but can't remember to do the most basic of tasks. It's extremely frustrating.

 

[km1990]

Yep sounds like me
Remember formulas with ease

Can't remember to brush my teeth

Could never understand that until my dx.

And don't get me started on my keys