Assessing my behaviors

[Suzette]

If we haven't been introduced, I am Suzette. I am 54 years old and newly self diagnosed as on the spectrum. At this late date I am unlikely to ever get a professional screening as we are retired and spend most of our time in Mexico. We do not have insurence, nor have the money to pay for screening ourselves.

I find myself reviewing memories with a new understanding of what went wrong but I am unsure if some of my "quirks" are aspie related. So I have a few examples and I am hoping you all can help me decide / confirm if these are aspie traits. Some of these things have caused distruption in my life, others, from childhood, were indulged without ill effect.

♡♡♡♡♡
Until I was about 10, I could wear nothing but black patent leather mary janes on my feet. When I got my first job the first thung I bought was a pair of womens low heel, black patent leather mary janes. This was my prefered foot wear until I developed nerve damage in my late 20s. I still have mary jane flats for dress wear.

As a child, again until about 10, my diet was limited to soft, pasty foods like mashed potatoes, yoghurt, cottage cheese or refried beans and soft breads and fruits. I would also eat cheese anything. These are still my prefered foods and my go to menu if I am sick, tired or stressed.

I can follow a complex map / plan of tasks that includes multi tasking if I created the plan. I may not fully understand similar plans created by others. Also, if I am working this plan, I get upset if I am interupted and I can not continue the plan once I am free to do so. I can not "start over" that plan, it is scrapped and I have to create a new plan.

I love digital note pads because I can start a new page, or even a new notebook, whenever I want. Before digital if I made a mistake when I was writing I had to throw the page away and I could not even use the back side. I would even throw out an entire notebook if I could not remove the page so that the notebook looked like new.

I really, really dislike hugging anyone but my husband, son or mother. I also do not like to shake hands but will tolerate it so I don't stand out.

I hate to talk on the phone or do web chatting like skpe, zoom etc. Somesounds just sound garbled. This also true if there is a radio or t.v. playing when I am talking with someone face to face.

If I am talking with someone on the phone, and another person in the room tries to talk to me at the same time, I feel cornered, trapped and panicky. If I get a few seconds quiet from then both I can usually create enough mental barrier to have the presence of mind to ask the other person to wait in a polite tone of voice. If they both just keep talking I will shout at the other person, hyper ventilate and maybe even cry.

When I was working I often got in trouble for "overstepping" and doing things my boss said were hers alone to do. For example we discussed the need for an inventory management plan and the details of that plan, so I wrote it up and instructed my team on how to impliment the plan. I was suppossed to give her the plan to review ask her to review and instruct our team. She said I was usurping her authority but I was just "doing" with no intenrion of outcome except to have an IMP.

It took me 20 years to teach myself how to knit. The reason is the written instructions were written to start with the right hand, but I found the instructions too vague and kept using my left hand because it matched the picture in my book. Since then, I either have to follow the pictures OR follow the written instructions but having both creates confussion.

So mych more, but that is enough for now.

Gracias!

 

[DogzSpirit]

Hola Suzette, and welcome to what I view as the land (website) of accepted quirks and acceptance.

I too am in (central) Mexico! Been here for quite a few years. Though we may be splitting our time between the US and Mex in the future.

Overstepping is a common theme for me and plans that tackle are usually that which are rather consuming and therefore the resulting shrug is a quiet one, if not an appreciative hidden relief. If you want me to organize something to a point, instead of all the way through, better make that clear in the beginning. Other wise I will plow right through, nonstop.

Shoes hit on what appears to be comfort area, which Aspies are very sensitive to. Example: My quest for comfy shoes is the only similarity with an emphasis on sneaks & hike friendly sandals, to which I have a hidden stash of a good 10 pairs surplus stashed out of husbands sight.

Going to look up digital notepads... cool... lol... which do you recommend?
(Though doubt it will save me much, as I collect special interest info like crazy, and file so much away in every crevice of this computer with search terms for easy retrieval. Everyone laughs until I need to reference it, and then no laughter at that point.)

While I love hugging someone I am close to, I do not want to hug strangers, anymore then I really want to get into an intimate disclosing conversation with someone whom I am not close to. Hugging is the type of greeting that feels a little fake unless someone is near/dear to me.

Many Aspies have told me of phone challenges.

Each and every one of us AT women are unique. However Emma Rios sized it up nicely in her book, as well as providing me with many an ah ha moment. I had gotten that for my husband (hasn't touched it yet). I managed to nab it off of Amazon Mexico, for less than it would have cost on Amazon USA.
22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rios, Emma

I have enjoyed this website and the perspective offered by others on the spectrum.

DogzSpirit

 

[1ForAll]

Sounds like you belong here. Your sensory issues regarding touch, textures, and foods (very limited diet as a child and now), need for details and being fine with certain complexities, limited concentration and/or being upset at being interrupted, meltdowns, need for preciseness, sensitivity to sound, dislike for or fear of change, not being aware of others' feelings, and needs for certain patterns to understand better all sound much like it could be ASD to me. Our young son can relate to all of those. He has ASD.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

If we haven't been introduced, I am Suzette. I am 54 years old and newly self diagnosed as on the spectrum. At this late date I am unlikely to ever get a professional screening as we are retired and spend most of our time in Mexico. We do not have insurence, nor have the money to pay for screening ourselves.

I find myself reviewing memories with a new understanding of what went wrong but I am unsure if some of my "quirks" are aspie related. So I have a few examples and I am hoping you all can help me decide / confirm if these are aspie traits. Some of these things have caused distruption in my life, others, from childhood, were indulged without ill effect.

♡♡♡♡♡
Until I was about 10, I could wear nothing but black patent leather mary janes on my feet. When I got my first job the first thung I bought was a pair of womens low heel, black patent leather mary janes. This was my prefered foot wear until I developed nerve damage in my late 20s. I still have mary jane flats for dress wear.

As a child, again until about 10, my diet was limited to soft, pasty foods like mashed potatoes, yoghurt, cottage cheese or refried beans and soft breads and fruits. I would also eat cheese anything. These are still my prefered foods and my go to menu if I am sick, tired or stressed.

I can follow a complex map / plan of tasks that includes multi tasking if I created the plan. I may not fully understand similar plans created by others. Also, if I am working this plan, I get upset if I am interupted and I can not continue the plan once I am free to do so. I can not "start over" that plan, it is scrapped and I have to create a new plan.

I love digital note pads because I can start a new page, or even a new notebook, whenever I want. Before digital if I made a mistake when I was writing I had to throw the page away and I could not even use the back side. I would even throw out an entire notebook if I could not remove the page so that the notebook looked like new.

I really, really dislike hugging anyone but my husband, son or mother. I also do not like to shake hands but will tolerate it so I don't stand out.

I hate to talk on the phone or do web chatting like skpe, zoom etc. Somesounds just sound garbled. This also true if there is a radio or t.v. playing when I am talking with someone face to face.

If I am talking with someone on the phone, and another person in the room tries to talk to me at the same time, I feel cornered, trapped and panicky. If I get a few seconds quiet from then both I can usually create enough mental barrier to have the presence of mind to ask the other person to wait in a polite tone of voice. If they both just keep talking I will shout at the other person, hyper ventilate and maybe even cry.

When I was working I often got in trouble for "overstepping" and doing things my boss said were hers alone to do. For example we discussed the need for an inventory management plan and the details of that plan, so I wrote it up and instructed my team on how to impliment the plan. I was suppossed to give her the plan to review ask her to review and instruct our team. She said I was usurping her authority but I was just "doing" with no intenrion of outcome except to have an IMP.

It took me 20 years to teach myself how to knit. The reason is the written instructions were written to start with the right hand, but I found the instructions too vague and kept using my left hand because it matched the picture in my book. Since then, I either have to follow the pictures OR follow the written instructions but having both creates confussion.

So mych more, but that is enough for now.

Gracias!

Welcome Suzette!

As I am reading your post I was like "check",..."check",...yes,...all the "boxes" were checked off. I too, am 54 years old,...professionally diagnosed at 52. Welcome my "sister from a different mother". Hope to have some good conversations with you.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I tried once to learn how to play guitar was well into the instructions before cd instructor got around to stating how to hold the instrument I had it backwards and upside down I'm ambidextric, right hand guitar. i twas to difficult to carry on after stroke. Son now borrowing guitar. what is obvious to a NT is not always that way for us. wasted a month of practice

 

[Suzette]

What about religion? When I was a child I loved going to church. I don't remember now what I liked about it. Anyway, my family was not religious but I would be invited to go to church by my class mates. I would always go. This lasted for about a year when I was 7 or so. I had the feverent heart of a true believer. But the last time I went to a church service so of the older people (adults in my child eyes but probably teens) cornered me and told me I could not go home unless I repented. Of course I had a complete melt down and one of the people restrained me. They still refused to let me go unless I repented. So I did what they wanted me to do and became an immediate athiest.

So my question is, how typical is this kind of facination amongst spectrum kids?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

What about religion? When I was a child I loved going to church. I don't remember now what I liked about it. Anyway, my family was not religious but I would be invited to go to church by my class mates. I would always go. This lasted for about a year when I was 7 or so. I had the feverent heart of a true believer. But the last time I went to a church service so of the older people (adults in my child eyes but probably teens) cornered me and told me I could not go home unless I repented. Of course I had a complete melt down and one of the people restrained me. They still refused to let me go unless I repented. So I did what they wanted me to do and became an immediate athiest.

So my question is, how typical is this kind of facination amongst spectrum kids?

I am not sure if this is a "spectrum" issue. I think things like this have happened to many so-called neurotypical children. Children, in general, do not have a good sense of who they are yet, are highly impressionable, and often wish to be part of a group. If you can't be the popular kid in school, be part of a school "clique",...perhaps being active in a church youth group is attractive. Church youth groups, in general, can be fun and accepting. At some point, though, the child becomes a teenager, and the teenager becomes an adult. The fun, at some point transitions into a more serious commitment to the religion. Every person has their intellect and emotional needs either satisfied,...or not. Certainly, a bad experience like you experienced as a child could easily emotionally scar them.

Now, as a child on the spectrum, it is plausible,...due to sensory, communication, and theory of mind issues,...potential reactions to such events could very well be exacerbated.

Another perspective,...if one were to perceive the religion within the context of a stereotypical autistic "special interest",...then the religion could take on a life of its own and be quite consuming.

 

[Suzette]

Thank you NeonatalRRT. I think you are correct concerning neurotypical kids and youth groups. I my case, however, I mean attending services at the chapel, with the adults. I had a very clear sense of God and even wanted to become a nun. LOL For what it's worth, I had no desire to read the bible. I liked the hum of churches, the drone of the sermon and the singing if it wasn't too loud. I don't know. It is just a memory in my vast catalog.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Welcome Suzette. You seem like a really nice person.

 

[Martha Ferris]

Welcome. I look forward to getting to know you.