Autism/ADHD and Cleaning/organising

[MielCelevon]

Husband grew up in a very clean house but I grew up in Chaos. He is used to his Mum doing everything and I am used to Nothing getting done.

Cleaning is something I am working on and I had it almost down... Then we went from a double income to a Single income. Luckily my Boss let me increase my hours so we kept the house, but it's a pigsty.

Miss3's KUDOS assessor is arriving today so I am running around like a mad chook with no head, cleaning.

What Cleaning hacks work best for you?

(Sadly I can't afford a cleaning service.)

 

[Raggamuffin]

If you're working, why isn't he cleaning.

Women end up mothering their partners in some way, shape, or form in all relationships.

Failing that. Double up. 2 people cleaning gets things done mighty fast.

Ed

 

[Rodafina]

I keep things tidy by not having excess belongings, and continual tidying. Once things get messy, it can be overwhelming, but if you can make small efforts as you go and follow the “a place for everything and everything in its place” philosophy, perhaps you can maintain more order.

 

[Forest Cat]

The trick is to clean a little regularly, instead of letting it turn into a mud pit and then do a massive deep cleaning. It's easier.

If you just need it to look clean and nice because of assessor visitors and you have little time, I would do the surfaces and stuff the mess into closets and hide it until later. I wouldn't clean everything, I would cut corners and just make it appear to be clean and tidy. But I don't know if that is an option.

 

[MielCelevon]

To everyone saying that it's not an excuse... I agree! He is trying using the little bit everyday method... but we have too much belongings/mess for that to work. I am currently doing the deep clean.

His level of cleaning would work if we had an already clean house where everyone tidies as the go. Sadly we don't.

Don't be too hard on him though. He is fighting depression and the hardest thing is Task initiation when you are overwhelmed by the mess.

That Said, any tips for Cleaning Motivation?

 

[Rodafina]

To everyone saying that it's not an excuse... I agree! He is trying using the little bit everyday method... but we have too much belongings/mess for that to work. I am currently doing the deep clean.

His level of cleaning would work if we had an already clean house where everyone tidies as the go. Sadly we don't.

Don't be too hard on him though. He is fighting depression and the hardest thing is Task initiation when you are overwhelmed by the mess.

That Said, any tips for Cleaning Motivation?

My sister struggles in exactly the ways you described. I've heard that focusing on one area at a time can be helpful - even if your goal is to clean the whole house, focusing on one section and completing it is said to be motivating.

Also, especially since you are also working (and more hours it sounds like), I've read that allotting a specific amount of time to cleaning (30 minutes?) and then having some sort of reward that you enjoy waiting for you at the end (a fancy coffee? a fun video... any kind of treat that won't require more work.) can also be helpful to working efficiently and consistently.

 

[LadyS]

I'm on a cleaning, de-cluttering spree too. My husband is a low-grade hoarder and no matter how much I clean he keeps bringing in more things.

I agree that focusing on one small area at a time is good at motivating, small progresses at a time. Throw away anything you don't absolutely need, especially things that you haven't used in years. Look for expired dates. Organizing small items in storage bins, especially ones with drawers, separate compartments, or stackable racks also has helped.. this increases storage space, keeps me from getting unnecessary items too.

The autism in me likes sorting things in categories so I gather things of the same or similar purpose and store them together. Also agree with others that maintaining it is what stops from getting overwhelming.

 

[Aspychata]

Just pick out one small area that you would be happy to see clean. That's how l move out of the hold that chaos has on me.

Then when you see one place clean, say bathroom, or hall, or top of counter, you smile, and realize you can pick a second place to clean. A uncluttered place also helps with depression and allows us to bring in flowers or plants that celebrate life and not things. Candles and scents also bring life to places.

I lived with bipolar person. It's difficult. I sent him with things to Goodwill, he started keeping things in the back of his car. You can't critique because l understand some of hoarding can be also due to trauma, so l am careful about this. I have suffered from PTSD and also realize that keeping things doesn't help , acknowledging the trauma is a better way to go.

 

[Progster]

I do one bit at a time. I set myself a target - a small target so as not to be overwhelming - and do up to that target, and then find that I continue and do more than the target set. Then that gives me a boost, because I achieved more than I set out to do. The hard part is starting; once I start, it's easier to continue.

 

[Slime_Punk]

If you're working, why isn't he cleaning.

Women end up mothering their partners in some way, shape, or form in all relationships.

Failing that. Double up. 2 people cleaning gets things done mighty fast.

Ed

This seems like the best solution for sure. One person can't do everything

 

[Judge]

Cleaning "hacks" ? None.

But then with OCD keeping things neat and orderly is just another compulsion for me. Making me an excellent housekeeper in general. Unless of course I drive people a little insane in the process. Luckily I live alone.

Oddly enough I feel blessed though that I am not a germaphobe. A very different element of OCD that can make life that much more miserable at times given so many inevitable biological functions to deal with.

 

[MielCelevon]

Thank you everyone for sharing your advice & experiences.

I started at 6am my time and I got the house clean enough for company by 10am! Hubby also cleaned off one Kitchen Bench top.

Our AC has died, so getting it done early when the house was still cool was very helpful.

That Day Miss3 had her morning Tea play time with her friend, the AC repair guys came to pronounce our AC definitively Dead, and the lady from NDIS came to assess Miss3.

The house was clean enough that we can sit on the lounge floor and play.
I don't know the results yet. She needs time to write reports and talk to childcare educators.


Here's what worked for me.
Picking a starting point.
Tidying first with 4 bags, 1 for trash 1 box for things that go in kids room, 1 for recycling and 1 for donations.
Sweeping the carpet with the dustpan and brush... our Vacuum needs fixing.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

We had a very clean, minamilistic house, growing up. We'd get our butts whooped if the bedroom was messy, or the dishes unwashed, socks in the living room, etc. Day after Christmas meant throwing out old possessions. Very tidy, orderly, organized.

As an adult, My house is clean, but lived in. Before I became a mother, I was very rigid about cleanliness, like my parents were, but it was too stressful. And I don't know how they kept it always so spotless with kids in the house. Friends would come over after my daughter was born, and I'd be so embarrassed and flustered about how it was messy. They always smiled and said they liked it lived in. That it looked like a home where a family resides. It sort of changed my thinking. I realized that there can be balance.

With my daughter, I let her play with toys in the living room, have a little clutter in her room, etc.

I think, in some ways, my upbringing was a good thing, because it taught me respect and to keep things orderly and not to horde. But as an adult, I'm also glad I've relaxed the standards. The house is cozy and kinda messy, but clean at the same time. Realistic and happy, less stress.

 

[MildredHubble]

I have a tendancy to hoard. I also have a tendancy to be extremely good at organising things. But this has failed me in recent years.

Having really bad issues with my mental health gets in the way so badly and this stresses me out. I liked few things more than getting everything organized and in it's place. My spacial awareness is crazy good and I can fit a lot of things into small spaces and I could really enjoy doing it.

I grew up in a chaotic house where we were always battling the chaos. Most this was caused by my mother and her drinking, it was a never ending cycle of her trashing the place and her berating us for her having to live in a messy house. Mostly with her empty wine glasses, cups of coffee full of cigarette butts, newspaper strewn everywhere, and whatever she's smashed up that evening. I always thought it was weird that we got the blame for her mess.

I think I over corrected. When I was hypomanic I would "churn" reorganized everything, everything neat, lined up and I absolutely loved doing it and admiring the tidiness afterwards.

Now I don't have the energy most of the time. When I do get a little hypo it doesn't last long enough so I end up starting the process and then end up in too much pain and then the place looks like a bomb site :-(

So I can definitely relate to feeling like it's a herculean task and you don't know quite where to begin.

I've tried focusing on one area but the problem is a bit like a Rubicks cube. The puzzle element appeals to me, but the whole thing needs a concerted effort and evey piece needs to be moved strategically. It's really getting to me that I can't have that nice feeling where everything looks nice. I'm sure it looks heath Robinson to most eyes but I like the way my tidy environment looks.

I do have too much stuff. But it's too important to me, I can't imagine parting with a lot of it.