Autism and unhealthy coping mechanisms

[mysterionz]

For the longest time I’ve been using junk food/purchasing junk food as a way to cope. Longest streak I’ve had is two weeks without junk food. My weight shot up by 32 pounds two years ago and I was only able to keep the weight off for a few months (152-18= 135). I feel fat, insecure, and useless, and rather “big boned” haha. I need to take control of myself before I end up with diabetes or heart issues at a later age.

pic taken a few days ago (I was close to my peak weight of 154, no full body bra and undie pics as I don’t feel comfortable showing myself without any clothing on)

What my frame looks like at this point in time.

 

[mysterionz]

Some pictures taken a year apart from each other here, as well as one from two years ago.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

You look pretty normal and healthy to me. I say that not to ignore the issue you bring up, but just so (hopefully) you don't fixate too much on appearance. You're a very good-looking person. (And you don't have to get our opinion on your figure )

But, I do relate to unhealthy coping mechanisms. I hate sweets, but there are times I've bought a piece of cake as a kind of self-harm. It wasn't dangerous, but something I did from stress. Can't control the environment? Punish myself.

Recently, I've decided to cut out caffeine because I think it's not so good for my thinking. I can see where it contributes to a disconnect from my feelings and probably some anxiety. Of course, there's much worse I could do, but like you I think of my daily and future health. How will I be most fulfilled?

I hope you find what works for you. At your age I ate a lot of junk, too. I could eat a large pizza by myself and not really gain weight. I'd stay around 135-140. Now I tend to have lentils, vegetables, and some meat every night for dinner. Lunch is carrots, peanuts, apples, some cheese, and green peppers. Breakfast is plain oatmeal with almonds and a banana. I probably didn't think I'd eat that at 18, but it's much more enjoyable to me now. You might find adjusting isn't as bad as it seems. And if you can make any changes to your stressors, you may feel less need to cope.

 

[Rodafina]

I am biased, but I think you are beautiful and perfect.

The coping mechanism thing, though, is very important. I have definitely done this at different periods in my life, and it is not helpful to me.

One frustrating thing is that it seems like the more humans really deny themselves something, the more they want it. So maybe incorporating things that you love to eat on a regular basis could be more helpful than abstaining for a period of time and then splurging on something.

Also, you could try to learn to love treats that aren’t considered junk food… Like non sugary drinks, teas, kombucha, interesting seltzer waters. Then, you are still having treats, but they are not so detrimental to your goal.

I accepted dark chocolate as my one true vice, but it is self-limiting. I love it, but I can only eat so much of it at a time as compared to milk chocolate, and that is a good thing for me. As I reduced my sugar over time, my palate became more sensitive to it, so less sweet things will still fulfill the urge for goodies.

Lastly, I would add that your generation is especially exposed to photographs of your peers showing off how their bodies look. Make sure not to compare yourself too much to others if at all possible, because everyone starts and finishes in different places.

This is probably too simplistic, but one of my mantras is one someone told me long ago: think about what your body can do rather than how it looks.

 

[Jeff T]

My own viewpoint and biases included, I'd say you're around an ideal weight. If one "feels flabby", aerobic exercise and weights can help turn one to a stronger physique. Exercise does seem to improve one's outlook as well.
Perhaps throw in some healthier ingredients along with the junk food? For me, austerely eliminating foods I desired caused more craving.

 

[GypsyMoth]

It’s a type of stim. I’ll stop by later but thought I’d toss that out there for you to chew on—pun intended. (I just lost 40 pounds in 3 months—don’t do that, not healthy—then gained back 10. But along the way I was talking with a friend about my eating habits and that’s what we discovered, that eating is a stim for me. So unless it’s a meal, I’m trying not to snack. It’s really helping, too.)

By the way, you look beautiful as you are. What’s important is if you’re happy. Thats what my GYN would tell me when I’d complain to her about my weight. Emotional well being leads to physical well-being. & our cultural idea of being image conscious is way out of wack. Gotta go!

 

[MildredHubble]

Don't let anyone body shame you! You are a long, long way from developing diabetes or a heart condition!

I've put loads of weight on. I have a tendancy to comfort eat too. I suppose for me, I spend an awful lot of time with serious depression. My meds also are well known to cause weight gain so I'm a bit stuck and can't exercise like I used to due to lots of joint pain. Ironically probably caused by how active and workaholic I used to be.

Sometimes when I've tried literally everything I can think of to experience something other than depression and anxiety, I kinda know that eating something will allow me to feel a sensation other than rubbish. So I eat something. Also anxiety messes with hormones that make you feel hungry, or low on blood sugar.

It's upsetting as I used to be very slim, and that made me feel androgenous in the way I looked. I feel like my extra weight makes me look more masculine than I feel. So this creates an extra layer of sadness.

I don't want to be too presumptuous about the things you want to discuss in this thread. But I will just say, meds can make a huge difference to your metabolism. Meds you've mentioned elsewhere can definitely do this. I'm not sure where in the world you are, but I think in the US doctors are more willing to prescribe appetite suppressants if meds cause weight gain. It may be worth looking into if it's a possibility.

Of course everyone will recommend exercise for weight loss, and it can certainly help. The problem is that you don't sound like you are feeling great mentally right now so, speaking from my experience, feeling rubbish can really dent your motivation.

My weight ballooned when I was prescribed Sertraline. I went from a little tubby to huge in a few months.

This used to be kept in check with my physical activity in the past but it's virtually impossible for me. Just making the Christmas dinner wiped me out for 3-4 days.

Maybe a little gentle exercise, like going for a fairly long walk to somewhere nice you can maybe settle down and do some of your amazing artwork for a couple of hours, then walk home and have something nutritious to eat?

I know it's not easy and there's often invisible barriers. But like others have said, I think you are fine as you are!

 

[Aspychata]

I tend to eat my emotions, but if really stressed, l loose weight, because l loose my appetite. Heat also kills my appetite completely. I guess just observe if you eat because it's meal time or are you covering up emotions.

You are very pretty, and l would be very happy if you were my daughter. I was skinny at your age because of my metabolism. However, my family didn't do fast food. My mom served a lot of salads.

To stay feeling full, protein powder, a banana, and some plant based milk in a blender, and you will feel quite full. If you hate bananas, maybe add a mango, or peach or no fruit. You should aim to have 18- 20 grams of protein at least twice a day. This will keep you feeling full. Beans have protein, protein powder has about 15- 18 grams of protein one scoop. I have pretend meat crumbles that are perfect in tacos, and have 18 grams in on 1/3 cup. My mom never talked to me about this, it's something l learned on my own. The meat crumbles are from peas. I absolutely love cows. They are so sweet. They are very docile creatures. My friend eats meat, and that's fine. Though he definitely eats more vegetarian when he visits.

 

[Angular Chap]

You look great! No Photoshop, no filters, no lighting tricks, no angle trickery, nothing! All natural! Inspiring self-confidence!

Edit: I've messed up on this one and accidentally done something insensitive. Sorry to anyone who read this post before I edited it. I accept anything you wish to say or think about me. I'll consider everything more carefully in future. Sorry for potentially letting you all down here.

 

[Aspychata]

I think she is at a fine weight. She looks very trim. She is just discussing fast food. Just that fast food keeps you full for about 30 mins, then you are hungry again. So l hope by mentioning protein, she might be willing to check it out.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I think you are perfectly fine. If you want to feel stronger is about to make more exercice.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I comfort eat to the point of discomfort. I'm an ectomorph though. Sounds like something paranormal or out of an RPG. Basically I eat and eat but I remain skinny.

You can look healthy on the outside but still have toxic innards. I'm eating way way to an early grave, and have been since a pre-teen.

I have started the Huel shakes for one meal on weekdays. It gets vitamins and nutrients I probably wouldn't normally get otherwise. But unhealthy food fires off the opiates in the brain. Has you craving more. Much like many other things in life that people get addicted to - gaming, internet, caffeine, relationships, sex, people pleasing, social media, shopping etc. In fact, neural-marketing exists now. They're actually focusing intently on the best ways to lure people in.

I'm sure most of us are nursing a few addictions outside of substances, or possibly including some of those too. Most of us on the spectrum also are no stranger to depression or anxiety. And when there's pain - there's often the desire to escape that discomfort, hence we find ourselves nursing addictions.

But calling it a "disease" is risky. In the early days, all addictions would initially soothe. Take us away and give us warmth, and uplift. It's only in the later years where it takes, and erodes that we see it for what it is - something that felt like it almost filled the void, but was never quite enough to make us feel complete. No disease has any positives - therefore, how can substance abuse be considered one? It disempowers us to call it a disease, when in reality we are culpable for our own actions. It's not easy though - I'm living with many addictions. It's thoroughly exhausting and destabilising. The alternative sounds terrifying though.

Ed

 

[Aspychata]

I comfort eat to the point of discomfort. I'm an ectomorph though. Sounds like something paranormal or out of an RPG. Basically I eat and eat but I remain skinny.

You can look healthy on the outside but still have toxic innards. I'm eating way way to an early grave, and have been since a pre-teen.

I have started the Huel shakes for one meal on weekdays. It gets vitamins and nutrients I probably wouldn't normally get otherwise. But unhealthy food fires off the opiates in the brain. Has you craving more. Much like many other things in life that people get addicted to - gaming, internet, caffeine, relationships, sex, people pleasing, social media, shopping etc. In fact, neural-marketing exists now. They're actually focusing intently on the best ways to lure people in.

I'm sure most of us are nursing a few addictions outside of substances, or possibly including some of those too. Most of us on the spectrum also are no stranger to depression or anxiety. And when there's pain - there's often the desire to escape that discomfort, hence we find ourselves nursing addictions.

But calling it a "disease" is risky. In the early days, all addictions would initially soothe. Take us away and give us warmth, and uplift. It's only in the later years where it takes, and erodes that we see it for what it is - something that felt like it almost filled the void, but was never quite enough to make us feel complete. No disease has any positives - therefore, how can substance abuse be considered one? It disempowers us to call it a disease, when in reality we are culpable for our own actions. It's not easy though - I'm living with many addictions. It's thoroughly exhausting and destabilising. The alternative sounds terrifying though.

Ed

Good points. I am working on living in the moment. Just being happy with the here and now.

 

[Outdated]

For the longest time I’ve been using junk food/purchasing junk food as a way to cope. Longest streak I’ve had is two weeks without junk food.

I've been doing this too. Far too much. For me it's a comfort thing, having food delivered. It's not about being hungry, it's about having someone else do something for me. For a while it got so intense that the change in my spending habits threw up a red flag with my bank and they started sending me requests for confirmation that it really was me spending that money.

It's a form of depression. I'm slowly getting better. I absolutely agree with Jeff T's comments about exercise but finding the motivation is difficult. I'm currently about 15 Kg heavier than I should be. That will have to change if I want to go hiking through the Flinders Ranges this winter.

 

[Lysholm]

I have a friend who is a "fitness influencer" and very ripped. Basically, he posts pictures of himself a lot and talks about how awesome it is to be gorgeous. He never posts anything of substance like how-to videos, just shows off, and he has like 60K followers. But this dude is an emotional wreck. He's been divorced twice, can't keep an actual job, and his diet is often eating five fast-food meals one day then fasting for the next three to five days.

Point is you can feel insecure, useless, and depressed whether fat or skinny. So make healthy choices as often as you can because you'll probably feel bad if you had a salad or a twinkie, but a salad won't give you diabetes (unless it's a twinkie salad which totally doesn't count).

 

[Raggamuffin]

RE: addiction, at this specific point in the video, Gabor eloquently describes what an addiction is - and why it goes so far beyond substances:

Ed

 

[mysterionz]

He's been divorced twice, can't keep an actual job, and his diet is often eating five fast-food meals one day then fasting for the next three to five days.

I was scrolling through an article on Bored Panda about “advertisements with threatening auras” where some screenshots of ads depicted “weight loss/diet” apps with suggestions like that.

 

[Darkkin]

Anything between 130 and 150 in a female of average height is pretty normal and actually healthy. For females a body fat percentage of 21 - 25% is normal and healthy. For males their physiology and metabolisms are slightly different and they're looking at between 17 - 20% body fat. This is essential for proper nutrient absorption, distribution, and metabolic function. And a measureable weight gain between the ages of 16 - 21 is normal for a majority of people. It often signals the end of a growth spurt and the coinciding slowing of the metabolism. And the accompanying knowledge gap as one's brain relearns what 'full' means. It is a part of literally growing up.

And it sounds like you are conscious of your health and eating habits and took steps to actively adjust to those physical changes. (Not a lot of people take time to do this...so kudos on that.)

Thinner does not equate healthy as defined mass standards of attractiveness and fashion. It can in fact hide a host of sins.

Weight, while a factor in heart health and diabetes, is not necessarily a guarantee to future problems or even an indicator there is a problem. In point of fact, the opposite occasionally proves to be the case. I'm nearly 40 lbs under where I should be for my height and frame size (roughly 10 lbs per inch of height over 5 feet), but I'm a unicorn in cardiology (subset of physical abnormalities (EDS) coupled with HFHC Homozygous variant). My total body fat percentage is less than 10% and it is a huge problem.

I don't retain heat, my metabolism is scarily efficient, and I do not process or retain nutrition and medication like I should. Basically my systems function like those of a trained ultramarathoner, yet I can't even jog a block. My basic physical function is severely compromised because of this.

Just like with ASD the signs of my illness are not overt. But people are still quick to comment on how lucky one is to be a size zero or extra small. They have no idea of truth rests behind an arbitrary beauty standard. They don't see and hear every bone and joint as it moves and pops, nor do they see the skeletal malformation or scars from invasive procedures required to treat occluded arteries. The absolute necessity to keep one's head and hands covered in order to maintain one's body heat so they can function normally. People see a coveted trait. Not any of its associated struggles. It sucks.

The only benefit I have is I can do diary, cereal, gluten, and fruit with zero issues (No food sensitivities). It is pretty much the only thing that maintains the mass I do have.

Looking for an alternative to a food stim or craving? Consider something as basic as taking a walk. It is one of those small changes that when made into a habit can rewire endorphin releases in the brain. (There is definitely truth in the so called 'runner's high'.) Walking is honestly one of the easiest and most well rounded exercises. Gentle toning to most major muscle groups, as well as building endurance and allowing for things like mindfulness and meditation.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

You look pretty good to me,physically. Are you getting exercise? Even just getting out walking improves people's mood and stamina.

While I am active, type II diabetis is taking its toll. I also need to keep my cholesterol under control. just a month ago I sorta had to undergo emergency open heart surgery for an 80% blockage in the Left Anterior Descending Artery, the Widomaker because it is silent until it kills you. It was found by the cardiac people in the hospital I was in for an unrelated procedure because a nurse was concerned about my heart activity. YOU never want to undergo that!!! The description that when you come out of that surgery you feel like you have been run over by a bus is pretty apt. They did not say it backed over you to see what it hit. And you mark your days by the connections that they are taking out of your body. The first is the respirator, and you do not want to be conscious during that.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Honestly if you eat plenty of wholesome foods, stay away from drugs and alcohol and get regular workouts, you'll be so far ahead of the curve that it's unreal. A few extra pounds won't even matter at that point anyway, not that you even seem to have anything like that going on as it is.

I like to focus on cultivating a healthy lifestyle rather than body image, because it's a more realistic goal, especially as you get closer to middle-age. I mean, feel free to get muscular if that's your calling in life, but as others have said, do it out of positivity and not obsession and your journey will be way cooler!