Autism/Aspergers and ACOA

[Maiasaura]

Has anyone grown up with an alcoholic family member and finds that they have aspergers and characteristics of ACOA (adult child of an alcoholic)? I was raised to be extremely cognizant of other peoples needs. A common thing both as a girl and as the child of an alcoholic. It was only a couple of years ago pre aspergers diagnosis that I realized that is SUCH hard work on a lot of levels and I've mostly been faking interest or understanding anyway. It has been a relief for me to let go of constant worry about what other people need but a bit of a shock to--for example--my mom who has gotten pretty used to me making myself available to process 'feelings' with her. How do you think ASD and ACOA impact each other?

 

[DogwoodTree]

Even though neither of my parents was an alcoholic, my grandfather on one side was, and those relational patterns don't disappear in just one generation. Also, my mother was mentally ill, my father probably was as well (though never dx'd), and both of my step-parents had serious mental issues (step-father was a psychopath, and step-mother probably had borderline personality disorder or something similar).

I've wondered how differently I would have turned out if I had healthy parents growing up...would more support have helped me be less autistic-looking, or did the dysfunction require that I cover it up more? At any rate, it's challenging to distinguish between which issues are AS-related, and which are dysfunctional family/abuse history related.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Supposedly some of my distant kin are followers of the bottle, but it hasn't been an issue in my personal life. Alcohol was a medication to deal with stress brought about by a reckless person and for me was a sign to deal with the situation as best I could to bring everybody's emotional and physical health back up if I didn't want them in worse shape. To some degree, I prefer fussing over other people. They're a welcome distraction. It doesn't leave me enough mental resources for the intrusive thoughts to feed on and bombard me with its stupid crap. Now the situation is better and the intrusive thoughts are back, so I'm off trying to find something else to fuss over sufficiently enough to shut them up again.

 

[wyverary]

I think with any support group, it is hard for anyone to really start to feel comfortable until a few weeks in, perhaps especially those on the spectrum. And it depends on the individual group as well. That said, a friend of mine has found ACOA extremely helpful and now facilitates meetings sometimes.

 

[debtitor]

Is anybody interested in participating in a ACOA group (zoom meetings) specifically for Autistics?

(i.e. people that identify as Aspergers or Autistic).

I can't find one, but I would like one to exist.

 

[Francesca]

Is anybody interested in participating in a ACOA group (zoom meetings) specifically for Autistics?

(i.e. people that identify as Aspergers or Autistic).

I can't find one, but I would like one to exist.

Definitely.

 

[Kristen7]

I’m very interested. I’ve been in acoa for over 2 years. And would love love love to connect with more autists.

 

[Luca]

My parents don’t struggle with substance abuse, but my mother’s mental health issues have caused me immense trauma, and made my own mental health issues worse, even in adulthood (I no longer live with my parents. It was too much.)

I would be interested if anyone knows of a support group for adult children of parents with severe mental illness and/or who were neglectful or emotionally abusive parents.
I hope this is okay to ask.

The fact that I was adopted as an older child after suffering extreme childhood trauma adds another layer of complication.

I am in the US in Massachusetts if that information makes it easier to help me find support. I prefer in-person support/therapy.

Thanks to anyone who reads this and has any advice.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

My parents don’t struggle with substance abuse, but my mother’s mental health issues have caused me immense trauma, and made my own mental health issues worse, even in adulthood (I no longer live with my parents. It was too much.)

I would be interested if anyone knows of a support group for adult children of parents with severe mental illness and/or who were neglectful or emotionally abusive parents.
I hope this is okay to ask.

The fact that I was adopted as an older child after suffering extreme childhood trauma adds another layer of complication.

I am in the US in Massachusetts if that information makes it easier to help me find support. I prefer in-person support/therapy.

Thanks to anyone who reads this and has any advice.

I'm sorry about your parents. I hope your pain gets alleviated ^^

 

[Luca]

I'm sorry about your parents. I hope your pain gets alleviated ^^

Thank you. You are so kind!

 

[Kristen7]

Is anybody interested in participating in a ACOA group (zoom meetings) specifically for Autistics?

(i.e. people that identify as Aspergers or Autistic).

I can't find one, but I would like one to exist.

I’m a few years late but yes. I’m looking for safe ACoA meetings for Autistics.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

Thank you. You are so kind!

You're very welcome ^_^

 

[Shevek]

I went to ACOA, etc, for over a decade, and nobody ever mentioned the possibility of something inherited being involved. My family was dysfunctional mostly because mother was AS as well. I'd be interested it trying a Zoom meeting.