autistic burnout + heartbreak

[SolKit]

ciao ciao all,
currently find myself having to embrace the above.. a bit scared not knowing how it will be yet nothing to do except ride it out, any insight or advice, has anyone else had to deal with this at same time?
..and the heartbreak i swear she was the one i gave 1.5 years of my life and feel played i gave my all, tried all i can.. i just idk i can even odd, idk social confuses me especially in stuff like this.. this is why i dont like dating very much and things have only seemed to have gotten more crazy with current american hook up culture.. im not that type.. anyways wanted to reach out when i had a burst of energy.. im go die and hide meow, ciao ciao.
gassho


sincerely,
Christopher (Kit) <<<}--------------------------------------------~…
/
"take your time or someone else will, even yourself if not careful" -/

 

[Outdated]

yet nothing to do except ride it out,

This is partly true. You will need to rest yourself from society for a little bit and give yourself time to recover. But try not to leave it too long or get too comfortable staying shut away. Eventually you'll need to push yourself to rejoin the world again, it won't just happen by itself.

The same for the heartache as well, it will pass. If you persevere you'll end up meeting the right girl one day.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Burn out is a popular term these days. I think many can relate to the symptoms, and with being on the spectrum, emotions feel that much more intense. Mind you, as a society they think up to 50% of us will get cancer. That, amongst other things shows society is quite sick, and our values and environment are no doubt large factors in that, along with our upbringings of course.

I dated during burn out and gave more than in other relationships, and it blew up in my face due to anxiety, depression, burn out and emotional hypersensitivity on both our parts.

8 months later, 3.5 months since we last met in person and 10 days since we last spoke. Still quite exhausted emotionally from it. I saw that I was still regularly reaching out. Yet with many I talk to online the energy expended isn't reciprocated at all, and the bias and seeing it year after year isn't fulfilling. But I think a short time unemployed and removing the job stressor from my life for now could help me process the breakup further, but time not talking and no contact is needed as I haven't had that at all, only 10 days so far.

Me and my ex were friends straight after the breakup and still talking daily, meeting multiple times a week. We get on well, but I still can't separate emotions of the past, what could've been, and being friends in the here and now.

Although she's repeatedly told me she's over me emotionally. To which I think, kudos, but also I read it with an inflection.

Ed

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Yet with many I talk to online the energy expended isn't reciprocated at all, and the bias and seeing it year after year isn't fulfilling.

I haven't experienced that with people online so much, but I definitely have in real life. It's very frustrating. I've always found it odd that we Autistics are told we're not reciprocal, but NTs rarely ask reciprocal questions, in my experience. On dates, I've always asked all the questions, too. I think I could count on a few fingers the questions I've been asked.

Of course, this just means these people aren't interested in me. But, it would be nice if we got a little credit for the compassion we do have.

 

[Dagan]

Right there in spirit. Shutdown time pretty much.

 

[KevinMao133]

I am the same

I simply don’t have the energy nor time to engage in conversations

Chronic fatigue, occasional burnout, dealing with misunderstandings

It’s hard to navigate. Many times I don’t choose to respond because there is nothing to say, and I worry about the implications of my words

It’s something that’s difficult and something I can’t help with

 

[eg3210]

Sorry you have to deal with this right now. It is devastating, but it will get easier in time. Parts of those feelings may linger for a long time, but the overall feeling should fade much more quickly.

"has anyone else had to deal with this at same time?" I can't imagine someone on the spectrum not having burnout just from a big break up, that's a LOT of emotional energy. And when it happens druing an existing burnout it's terrible. I've only been in a couple serious relationships and one ended while I was dealing with my biggest burnout (I didn't understand at the time, pre-diagnosis). I honestly didn't think I would recover. I had all the dark thoughts and ideas.

After shutting down completely for a while. I slowly started to focus on my special interests and avoided complex social situations for a while and eventually recovered.

I hope you will find someone who accepts you as you are and doesn't want you to be someone you're not. But first just do whatever you need to to just recover and take care of yourself.

One positive note, many of the traits that make someone bad at or dislike hook-up culture are exactly the same traits that make someone desirable in a longer term mature relationship.

Good luck, you will make it!