Baby voices

[Ylva]

Why do people talk in baby voices? Why are they so condescending and then apparently (and probably just pretend) they don't remember afterward? Is it just some idiot primate thing? Why do they ALL do it?

 

[Atay]

Do you mean talking in baby voice to babies? It helps babies to know your are happy, and thus safe.

If not, ppl use condescension as a way to dominate others. It is primarily used by humans who have shame issues, and subsequently see the world in a hierarchy. To compensate for their perceived weaknesses, they therefore must dominate others (which is crazy, of course). Importantly, shame-based dominaters choose insults and offensive implications about which the target feels insecure, and have nothing to do with reality. Thus, it's all arbitrary and fake.

I hate it, but it can't hurt you if you understand it has nothing to do with you...

 

[umbrellabeach]

That's always annoyed me too - also when people ask a baby or toddler an obvious question over and over (e.g. "Are you swinging? Are you swinging?") when the kid can't answer them and they can clearly tell whether he is or not. It's just useless. My mom does it a lot so I am very glad I can't remember much from when I was that young.

 

[Atay]

For children who are just learning to talk, the repetition is crucial for language acquisition. Sorry to be contrary, but it's true.

 

[Kouryuu]

Oh man I hate when people use baby voices. I just wanna scream. Why can't people talk to babies and small children like anyone else they talk to?

Worst part is, it seems like EVERYONE does it. It's so frustrating!!

 

[Ylva]

I did mean to other adults. But yeah, who's to say babies wouldn't feel just as good about being talked to in actual words without a lot of noise-making. The adults who do it seem to enjoy it immensely, for some reason. Maybe it's an NT stim.

 

[Ereth]

I think Anne Blythe (née Shirley) sums up my feelings on the subject quite nicely:

Anne, in the months before Little Jem's coming, had pored diligently over several wise volumes, and pinned her faith to one in especial, "Sir Oracle on the Care and Training of Children." Sir Oracle implored parents by all they held sacred never to talk "baby talk" to their children. Infants should invariably be addressed in classical language from the moment of their birth. So should they learn to speak English undefiled from their earliest utterance. "How," demanded Sir Oracle, "can a mother reasonably expect her child to learn correct speech, when she continually accustoms its impressionable gray matter to such absurd expressions and distortions of our noble tongue as thoughtless mothers inflict every day on the helpless creatures committed to their care? Can a child who is constantly called 'tweet itty wee singie' ever attain to any proper conception of his own being and possibilities and destiny?"

Anne was vastly impressed with this, and informed Gilbert that she meant to make it an inflexible rule never, under any circumstances, to talk "baby talk" to her children. Gilbert agreed with her, and they made a solemn compact on the subject—a compact which Anne shamelessly violated the very first moment Little Jem was laid in her arms. "Oh, the darling itty wee sing!" she had exclaimed. And she had continued to violate it ever since. When Gilbert teased her she laughed Sir Oracle to scorn.

"He never had any children of his own, Gilbert—I am positive he hadn't or he would never have written such rubbish. You just can't help talking baby talk to a baby. It comes natural—and it's RIGHT. It would be inhuman to talk to those tiny, soft, velvety little creatures as we do to great big boys and girls. Babies want love and cuddling and all the sweet baby talk they can get, and Little Jem is going to have it, bless his dear itty heartums."

"But you're the worst I ever heard, Anne," protested Gilbert, who, not being a mother but only a father, was not wholly convinced yet that Sir Oracle was wrong. "I never heard anything like the way you talk to that child."

"Very likely you never did. Go away—go away. Didn't I bring up three pairs of Hammond twins before I was eleven? You and Sir Oracle are nothing but cold-blooded theorists. Gilbert, JUST look at him! He's smiling at me—he knows what we're talking about. And oo dest agwees wif evy word muzzer says, don't oo, angel-lover?"

Gilbert put his arm about them. "Oh you mothers!" he said. "You mothers! God knew what He was about when He made you."

If I ever have kids, I know the more rational part of me won't want to indulge in too much baby talk, but I don't think I'll be able to help it either. It's not a stim---just a way people show affection. It may be ridiculous, but if human beings didn't engage in it, I doubt we would have pet names or anything of the sort in any language.

 

[Ylva]

To other adults.

 

[epath13]

My mom believed that kids should be spoken to as adults. When I was a kid I wanted to be treated like a kid but with respect to my opinion. I remember myself since I was about 8 months old and I always liked when caregivers or teachers spoke in soft tone with a smile. I didn't want to be treated like a little soldier or an inmate. I wanted smiles, reassurance and hugs. My kids (also on the spectrum) are the same way. I think there should be balance and you have to treat other people (Including kids) the kind of way they respond better to. Some kids may not need love being expressed in the form of sweet talking, pet names etc, some do, it all depends on personality, how much reassurance a person needs, how sensitive they are. And sometimes those baby talks sound fake and sometimes they could be expressions of love.

 

[epath13]

As for adults, it also depends on adult I don't think I would want to be talked like that all the time, but I don't mind if it happens sometimes. I do it sometimes as well, because I have hard time expressing concern or love , that's just my way of doing it

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think Anne Blythe (née Shirley) sums up my feelings on the subject quite nicely:


If I ever have kids, I know the more rational part of me won't want to indulge in too much baby talk, but I don't think I'll be able to help it either. It's not a stim---just a way people show affection. It may be ridiculous, but if human beings didn't engage in it, I doubt we would have pet names or anything of the sort in any language.

Full-blown baby talk doesn't come naturally to me, but in my Infant Care classes, we learned that we should talk to infants and tiny children differently than to adults: we should talk more slowly, lots of repetition, and about concrete things that exist or happen around us.
Since they are only learning language, such methods make this language acquisition much easier for them.

 

[Madame Catfish]

I remember idiots asking me what a cow says when I still couldn't speak. It pissed me off because I knew that they were addressing me, but there was no way to respond. Also, people asking me how old I was when I was two, over and over. It was irritating because I would answer them, "Two" and then they would ask again only a few minutes later. I thought they were very forgetfull. Looking back, I guess repitition is important when instilling language in a child. It doesn't make it any less annoying, though.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I remember idiots asking me what a cow says when I still couldn't speak. It pissed me off because I knew that they were addressing me, but there was no way to respond. Also, people asking me how old I was when I was two, over and over. It was irritating because I would answer them, "Two" and then they would ask again only a few minutes later. I thought they were very forgetfull. Looking back, I guess repitition is important when instilling language in a child. It doesn't make it any less annoying, though.

Actually, that's making me re-think about what "repetition" should consist in.
Excellent early memory, by the way.

 

[2aspirin]

A thought related to baby voices: are retail personnel trained to speak in high pitched, squeaky tones (kind of dolphin like in some cases)? This is so irritating. I can almost never make out what they are saying. Maybe it is a theft deterrent for some reason. It is so common that it must be trained or selected in the job candidates.