I’m trying to process today. I didn’t want to post this but I I just need to. So today was my birthday. My partner and I took my girls shopping to get choose some presents for me. That was my only presents. Less than 5 minutes in, seriously, my youngest, 11, was so horrible to me that I walked away and I left the shop, I couldn’t take it. They left me there and my ex had to pick me up later. On my birthday. It took all I had not to be heartbroken. I’m just trying to process it now after everyone is asleep. I’m supposed to be a grownup but it really does hurt. I got nothing. My day was ruined. My kids are brats. We were supposed to have lunch and a lovely time. I’m not kidding you, 5 minutes. It was awful. Happy birthday me.
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Bad day
- Thread starter Tanyax
- Start date
I’m sorry, this sounds so stupid reading it back. But it was awful. I was so disappointed in everyone and not just the day. It was ludicrous. They spent the rest of the night with their tails between their legs when I finally made it home but it doesn’t give you your day back does it? I’m still heartbroken but I had to hide it. Just pretending I’m a grown up and it’s just another day and it doesn’t matter.
It doesn't sound stupid at all. Kids often behave just like narcissists. This could be a good lesson for them. There were times when me or my brothers did something awful, and I remembered it forever, still affecting my behavior now, for the better. I know that doesn't magically fix your day, either, but it's something! I think.
That’s terrible. Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a nice birthday, that really isn’t asking too much.
Your partner left you there, at a mall or somewhere, and your ex picked you up? YOUR PARTNER LEFT YOU THERE?
I must have misunderstood, that would be too awful.
Your partner left you there, at a mall or somewhere, and your ex picked you up? YOUR PARTNER LEFT YOU THERE?
I must have misunderstood, that would be too awful.
Sorry you had such a crappy birthday. What was your 11 year old doing?
I remember having one of my daughters, who was very angry with me, and in public she started cussing me out and yelling and saying I don't feed them and all kinds of stuff that, I'm sure, sounded horrible to people around. All I could do was grin and bear it and ignore it the best I could while we waited for her appointment.
I remember having one of my daughters, who was very angry with me, and in public she started cussing me out and yelling and saying I don't feed them and all kinds of stuff that, I'm sure, sounded horrible to people around. All I could do was grin and bear it and ignore it the best I could while we waited for her appointment.
Oh, wait, now I'm confused. My brain registered it as the person picking you up as being your partner, but I guess it was a different person? I guess I filled in gaps without even thinking about it. I imagined you storming off, your partner saying to the kids "LOOK WHAT YOU DID" and taking them home and then coming back to get you.
It is complicated. My ex is my kids father. Both my ex and my boyfriend were so angry with them. The kids knew it. For once they both had my back which made it so much better. They were so out of order. I do hope you are right, that the kids will register that they went too far and they will remember this day and they will change just a little bit. Their dad was the one who didn’t talk to them all night whilst I felt bad and went soft on them in the end. I didn’t want them to be sad and sorry in their rooms all night. They obviously felt bad but just couldn’t bring themselves to say they were sorry. I love them too much.
That's terrible.Maybe you could have a do-over birthday celebration? Not the same, but maybe it would give your kids a chance to make up for being horrible to you on your actual birthday, and you could have a version of the nice day you were supposed to have.
Sara3
Well-Known Member
Tanyax, I'm sorry this happened to you. Well, they are kids and they need to learn how to behave properly. Did you talked to them about their rude manners? I think it is important if you express that this was a special day for you and that you deserve better.
Also, we are far away but I'd like to shake your hand, congratulate you and tell you: happy birthday!
Sounds really rude to me.
Why do you feel you need to just accept it because you're an adult?
Don't know what happened, but, the kids must have been upset with you about something.
I certainly would demand an explanation whether it was from a kid or an adult.
Age doesn't really matter when someone acts out like that.
Hope you can get an answer and work it out.
And from here, at least....
Why do you feel you need to just accept it because you're an adult?
Don't know what happened, but, the kids must have been upset with you about something.
I certainly would demand an explanation whether it was from a kid or an adult.
Age doesn't really matter when someone acts out like that.
Hope you can get an answer and work it out.
And from here, at least....
What a rotten day Tanya. I think that would upset anyone. I would echo a couple of previous points though.
I know how frustrating your kids have been to you but it's true that they'll likely regret such behaviour their whole lives once they get past the natural selfishness of childhood. That doesn't help you now though. Pretending you're not suffering is not an option, they have to see it, but they also need to know what positive behaviour looks like. Demonstrating forgiveness is just as important.
The idea of a "do-over" birthday is a very good one I think, but they have to understand where they went wrong in the first place. I personally think that's better coming from your partner and your ex. If everyone is singing from the same songsheet then there's no getting out of it. Perhaps the suggestion of punitive measures if they mess it up again wouldn't hurt.
"If your mother doesn't get to have birthdays then neither do you", or something similar.
I know how frustrating your kids have been to you but it's true that they'll likely regret such behaviour their whole lives once they get past the natural selfishness of childhood. That doesn't help you now though. Pretending you're not suffering is not an option, they have to see it, but they also need to know what positive behaviour looks like. Demonstrating forgiveness is just as important.
The idea of a "do-over" birthday is a very good one I think, but they have to understand where they went wrong in the first place. I personally think that's better coming from your partner and your ex. If everyone is singing from the same songsheet then there's no getting out of it. Perhaps the suggestion of punitive measures if they mess it up again wouldn't hurt.
"If your mother doesn't get to have birthdays then neither do you", or something similar.
Thank you all. My partner and my ex both bollocked them and I felt that their dad took it out on her for too long. She was hiding in her room because she knew she’d done wrong and he was cross with her. But because it was my birthday and I actually wanted to turn the day around at some point so I got her and we ended up having a good night dancing to a just dance app thing on the tv so it was fun. They must’ve all felt bad and made a big effort for me. I do think lessons were learnt at least. That they can actually go too far and that dad will not let them get away with murder. Finally. He was mortified and embarrassed by their behaviour. Fingers crossed they’ll be nice for a bit! Thank you for all the birthday love x you’re very kind x
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