Bad days

[Jeremiah ayers]

Having a bad day today and been having them a lot lately I find myself wish I would fall asleep and not wake up. I'm exhausted all the time I feel everything and nothing I can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do.

 

[Mattymatt]

Having a bad day today and been having them a lot lately I find myself wish I would fall asleep and not wake up. I'm exhausted all the time I feel everything and nothing I can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do.

Hey man! If it helps, I'm right there with you and I wish this on nobody. Even if you can do the smallest thing for yourself, do it! It's tough being neurodiverse in a world geared towards the neurotypical. Just do something for yourself that is positive, something to fight the despondency and depression. Today was indeed a rough day. I am 41 year old, ex-IT guy that is facing working at McDonald's. But things could always be worse - I could be homeless and living on the streets.

 

[Jeremiah ayers]

Hey man! If it helps, I'm right there with you and I wish this on nobody. Even if you can do the smallest thing for yourself, do it! It's tough being neurodiverse in a world geared towards the neurotypical. Just do something for yourself that is positive, something to fight the despondency and depression. Today was indeed a rough day. I am 41 year old, ex-IT guy that is facing working at McDonald's. But things could always be worse - I could be homeless and living on the streets.

Thank you

 

[Mattymatt]

No sweat, bro. As dark as things may seem today, the word quit is not in our vocabularies.

 

[Gritches]

It gets better. Everything's going to be okay in the end.

I could write a book as to why and how, but nobody wants to read an entire book in a forum post. Here's something to consider though: if you let depression - a depressed mood; a depressed state of being, become so familiar to you that it's part of your "comfort zone", any attempts you make later on to be happy, or at least be anything other than depressed, are going to be sabotaged by that fact.

We Aspies love our comfort zones; we don't just love them, we need them to maintain some sort of psychological homeostatis. But when depression becomes a part of that homeostasis, it starts to feel "wrong" to feel good, if that makes any sense. It's why depression is chronic and self-reinforcing, even if it is worse at some times than others.

It's precisely by that mechanism why a chronically depressed state will only get worse when circumstances call for a coping mechanism - because depression is part of an Aspie's mental "comfort zone", the natural inclination will be to cling to it even tighter. In that way it seems to act like one of those stims that gets "worse" when you get more stressed.

I don't know, does any of that hold water with you? If it makes you feel any better, even though I've largely erased my own depression as a significant personal issue I still have some bad days. Everyone needs some support to get through, from time-to-time.

 

[Jeremiah ayers]

It gets better. Everything's going to be okay in the end.

I could write a book as to why and how, but nobody wants to read an entire book in a forum post. Here's something to consider though: if you let depression - a depressed mood; a depressed state of being, become so familiar to you that it's part of your "comfort zone", any attempts you make later on to be happy, or at least be anything other than depressed, are going to be sabotaged by that fact.

We Aspies love our comfort zones; we don't just love them, we need them to maintain some sort of psychological homeostatis. But when depression becomes a part of that homeostasis, it starts to feel "wrong" to feel good, if that makes any sense. It's why depression is chronic and self-reinforcing, even if it is worse at some times than others.

It's precisely by that mechanism why a chronically depressed state will only get worse when circumstances call for a coping mechanism - because depression is part of an Aspie's mental "comfort zone", the natural inclination will be to cling to it even tighter. In that way it seems to act like one of those stims that gets "worse" when you get more stressed.

I don't know, does any of that hold water with you? If it makes you feel any better, even though I've largely erased my own depression as a significant personal issue I still have some bad days. Everyone needs some support to get through, from time-to-time.

That was very well said and it did help. Thank you.

 

[George Newman]

Having a bad day today and been having them a lot lately I find myself wish I would fall asleep and not wake up. I'm exhausted all the time I feel everything and nothing I can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do.

Jeremiah when you say you are “exhausted all the time”, I know exactly what you are saying. If your like me you may feel unimportant and that your life such as it is is not significant. You and I have to see that we are important and our lives are significant. At least twice per day I have to physically stop bow my head and say to myself, “YOU CAN DO THIS”. We have to go to sleep at night knowing that we made it another day and that tomorrow is another opportunity to prove that this p.o.s. disorder (blessing ... LOL) will not overwhelm us. We have to make our minds up. We live one day at a time for now and maybe in time we can possibly see further out as coping and understanding improves but for now one day at a time.

 

[Jeremiah ayers]

Thanks for all the kind words and support it is a nice feeling knowing I'm not alone.

 

[Nitro]

Hi Jeremiah ayers

 

[SusanLR]

Take time to do something that feels worth while everyday.
Even if it is seemingly insignificant.
Meditate on an affirmation of your own making.
Make it a positive even if you don't believe it consciously,
your subconscious will.
Do something that creates a feeling of accomplishment
if it is nothing more than picking up some clothes or cleaning just a small area. Whatever feels like you have done something worthwhile.
Then take time to just be and relax.
Do nothing if that's what feels good or play a game, write, watch half an hour of TV or read.
Just as long as it feels calm.

I've been through this and I know these little things gradually build you up.

Come on in here and read, post, and talk. It helps.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Thanks for all the kind words and support it is a nice feeling knowing I'm not alone.

You are so not alone! I am tired all the time, too. I’ve had to learn that I don’t cope with a lack of sleep as well as others - don’t know if it’s an aspie thing or just a Nervous Rex thing.

I’ve had to make going to bed early a much higher priority in my life, and things are getting better.

Just like @George Newman , I have to give myself a pep-talk sometimes. For me, it’s “It’s just code. Just read the code, learn it, and find one part of the project you can do. Do it, then find another.”

I’ve also learned that, while most NT’s regulate their own emotions naturally and subconsciously, I have to do it manually. I’m still learning that, but deciding to manually intervene in my emotional state does actually work. I have to take time to notice and acknowledge my emotions, ask what triggered them, and then decide what to do about them ... but it works, and I look forward to getting better at it.

 

[Gracey]

If you start to generalise and clump all of those bad days together this becomes your focus and you’ll start to only look for confirmation that your days are ‘bad’
Ignoring that which doesn’t fit into your bad day perception.

24 hours (a full day) is a long time. I’m led to believe a hit of a hormone lasts 90 seconds or so.

Repetitive thoughts and thought loops in the negative, can be the equivalent of setting up a drip feed into your system of that which brings us down and can keep us low.

It’s much easier said than done, changing perception.

Three really awful days out of seven can be easily generalised as ‘a bad week’ if we worry about what it may mean or be leading to.

What about the four days That weren’t as bad as the others?

That which you feel is very real and is happening. It can be an awful and confusing place to find yourself.
Generalising fuels the fire.

Feeling tired will be usual for your situation.
( it’s hard work feeling anxious)

What have you done for yourself to relax? Or take a break? Recharge?
Have you missed out taking care of yourself?