Hi
@RandomBogy, I struggle with this exact thing as well. I wouldn't consider myself a hoarder, but my grandfather was one and my mother certainly has tendencies. I get very attached to objects and get easily overwhelmed by chaos surrounding me. Some concrete advice I have about this, because it helps me with it:
- Have another person help you do a thorough initial cleaning to get your place tidy and not too cluttered as a starting point. Best would be a person you trust but who's practical, non-emotional towards objects, and efficient. Have that person assign you manageable tasks. I know it feels humiliating but it helps. And once you got your place cleaned up, you can work on keeping it that way. It might be necessary to repeat this step once in a while. When I lived by myself, I needed this forced outside clean-up about 2-3 times a year. It was painful but necessary.
- Sit down and break down the household tasks into little chunks, like "clean up desk", "clean bathroom sink", "clean the living room floor". Best here is to think it through, room by room. Then think how often these things need to be done (daily, several times a week, once a week, twice a month, and so on). If you're unsure, it's better to start by assigning a task too often than too rarely because, in my experience, it's easier to adapt it later than when you're already overwhelmed by beginning chaos. And then create a schedule for yourself with these little chunks, in a convenient way, like not too much on one day, not too many too unpleasant tasks on another day. Now, I haven't been able to stick to this schedule all the time, but at least some of the time. This is especially useful right after the previous step (initial clean-up).
Keep the schedule somewhere visible for you, and if you miss a day, or several, don't try to catch it all up (I try that and it usually leads to desperation and stopping the schedule altogether). Just continue on the day you're at, and try as many day-streaks as you manage.
Edit: If you're not a daily-cleaning person and more a once-a-week-cleaning person, that's fine too, but still think it through and make a plan with the tasks, and plan to do them often enough so the places don't get too dirty/cluttered and still feel manageable.
- Make it easy for yourself to throw things away. For example, I put an empty box next to my desk where every piece of paper and letter goes that I don't need to keep. Once that box is full, I throw it out. That works better than having to get up and go to the paper bin each time I want to throw it away, and less things end up on the ominous "might need it" pile.
- Have boxes where you put things you're unsure about - you don't technically need them but you don't want to throw them out. Once or twice a year, you can look through that box and sort it out. Or, if you manage, even have the motto to throw everything away if you haven't used it in a year.
- Apart from those things-youre-unsure-about-boxes you look at maybe once or twice a year (under supervision, if needed) and easier-trash-boxes, avoid closed storage spaces, like boxes, drawers, etc. At least for me, it's incredibly easy to just keep stuffing things in such spaces and never cleaning them out, until I am completely overwhelmed about that space and, honestly, cry while I try to sort it out. I forget about things I don't see, so I will forget stuff I have if I don't see it and even buy things double. If that's a problem for you too, try to stick to open storage that you can see. If you have closed storage spaces, e.g. fridge, kitchen drawers, put those into the schedule to look through them at regular intervals so they don't get too cluttered up.
- I know that one's an old hat, but "Don't put it down, put it away". That one's really annoying, but it works alright.
- Do something fun doing the clean-ups. For example, I love listening to podcasts and audiobooks, and I always do it while cleaning. No watching series because it slows me down too much.
That's all I can think of for now, but I'll add if I think of something else.
Oh, and if you mess up, try not to be too upset about it. Some of us just struggle more with this and that's okay and doesn't make you any less an adult, we all need help sometimes. Take a deep breath, go back to step one and try again.
