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Balancing Act

B

Bugsy5680

New Member
Figuring out how to balance time for self interests and family/career. I have been struggling with this ever since I discovered AS almost 8 years ago. Before then I was just focused on work and fam while unknowingly neglecting my needs. I used to shut down very often which led to many arguments. We are in a much better place in regards to the shut downs and I am more comfortable expressing myself although I have difficulty articulating my feelings, hubby talks me through it to figure it out.

What I am struggling with is the balance of career, caring for my disabled husband and kids on one hand and making time for "me" activities on the other. I almost feel like it's impossible until I retire. I also manage the bill payments, Dr appts, etc. and feeling so much pressure to do well at work since it's our only income. Most days I want to run away and be alone. If it were up to me we would be living as minimalists but hubby and kids would probably be miserable.

Hoping to get advice. Feeling lost.
 
Wow. That's a lot to manage....well, I don't have much advice but I can tell you I struggle with it too. It's very hard to deal with family, hobbies and interests, work and/or school, the one you love, finances, and health all the time. Sometimes I feel all alone and helpless. So I give up sometimes and just curl up and cry. That's not productive though. I feel like I should just sit down when there IS time and prioritize things. It would only take a few minutes but I'm super lazy so I've never gotten to it. Hopefully when you have time, you are able to get your priorities in order. The next step would be to access all the help and resources available so that you can minimize all the stress. Maybe family and friends can help? Also, setting aside a few minutes a day for MANDATORY alone time would be good. Even if it's just 5 or 10 minutes, it might help. You can also organize your thoughts in a notebook before you go to bed...I LOVE post it notes too
 
Thanks for sharing! I have added daily tasks I want to accomplish on my calendar but life gets in the way a whole lot. My way of decompressing is to sit in the dark and listen to music and cry. I have my memopad on my phone where I have a list of journaling prompts and I'll answer one about once a week. I should do that daily. I internalize my struggles usually so asking for help is very difficult for me.
 
I was once a work-a-holic, and it destroyed me mentally. If I had advice, it would be to make sure your priorities are straight, and by that I mean making "me" a high priority - because it's "me" who pays the bills and takes care of everyone, so "me" had better be happy or at the very least content. That's just my two cents.
 
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