befriending other autistic/Aspergers people is awesome

[apolloidolsice]

i've got a friend that's also on the spectrum, She and i understand things better and we can relate to each others experinces. She also doesn't make fun of me if i take a joke/sarcastic comment seriously and doesn't find it rude if i forget things like names etc. It's great! i recommend to all to befriend some fellow diagnosis wizards, it's like finding home

 

[foliodoe]

I've hung around my best friend for over a decade and have always felt like we just "get" each other, even when we don't always see eye-to-eye. Come to find out we're both on the spectrum! It all makes sense.

It frustrates me, though, how insular neurodivergent people can be - myself included. Makes it harder to connect and maintain connections in both direction.

 

[MildredHubble]

I've hung around my best friend for over a decade and have always felt like we just "get" each other, even when we don't always see eye-to-eye. Come to find out we're both on the spectrum! It all makes sense.

It frustrates me, though, how insular neurodivergent people can be - myself included. Makes it harder to connect and maintain connections in both direction.

I think neurodivergent people tend to, for the most part, keep their guards up. But we do find eachother from time to time.

One of my last jobs had this guy I had been "warned" about. I was told all sorts of negative stuff about him. I didn't actually meet him for a couple of weeks, but very quickly, we got on like a house on fire. Particularly compared to my other colleagues.

He was smart, actually very smart. He was very polite and considerate. He just preferred to be on his own.

I picked this up pretty quick. I wouldn't join in on the bullying. I wouldn't try to set him up like the rest of them. They were basically jealous of him. They were all trying to project this image that they possessed the skills he did. But it was all just ego with them. It would have been hysterically funny if it didn't cause so many problems.

I kept in touch with him for a while, but gradually that came to an end. I didn't take it personally, I just understood that he probably just wanted his solitude. Something I need too.

 

[foliodoe]

I agree. I have a friend who was diagnosed with ASD and she's so special and special to me. There are very few things I won't do for her if she needs help or anything. And she's one of the most interesting people I have met.

I straight up find neurotypical people so boring! I feel like I have nothing to say to them because they're all pretty much the same in terms of how their minds work and what their motivations are. Of course that's an unfair characterization, but it holds true in my experience most of the time.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

From her experiences through high school and beyond I swear that my spouse is ND Plus, she can MacGyver anything (almost). We are harmonious. Plus, we had the amazing experience of being friends first before being lovers.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I tend to study people, in general,...like an anthropologist studies apes, for example,...abeit missing the note pad and computer data base. I've worked with the public for over 40 years. I have seen people at their best and worst. You'd think that I would have some understanding of neurotypical behaviors,...and when I seem to think I do,...I am surprised again and again,...and realize I don't, and perhaps never will. As much as I can sit here behind a computer screen and ramble on about the some of the core differences between neurotypicals and autistics, I do realize that everyone,...everyone,...is an individual. To think that anyone knows anyone is a bit foolish, at best. My wife, she kind of falls between NT and autistic,...like she's taken the Aspie tests and will literally not qualify as either, but somewhere in the middle. That said, I think this is, in part, why we get along so darn well,...she loves silence as much as I do,...but then, she also loves going out and socializing with her co-workers and friends,...which I do not. She needs that socialization component, whereas I don't need it at all. We both complement each other in many ways,...she has her intelligences and I have different ones,...and we combine them to our benefit. I think the later characteristic about our relationship is what has made us successful,...36+ years,...we are very different people, but complement each others strengths and weaknesses. This is even more amazing to me, because as an autistic, I have never, never, never, had any idea what she was/is thinking. On the other hand, she has never given me any reason not to have complete trust in her,...so sometimes, I may not have any need to ask her what she is thinking.

I think having things in common can be a good start to a relationship, whether it be common interests,...or autism,...but some relationships can and do thrive on communication, personality traits, and trust even when there is nothing in common.

 

[Kalinychta]

I straight up find neurotypical people so boring! I feel like I have nothing to say to them because they're all pretty much the same in terms of how their minds work and what their motivations are. Of course that's an unfair characterization, but it holds true in my experience most of the time.

I straight up find autistic people so boring. I feel like I have nothing to say to them because they’re all pretty much the same in terms of how their minds work and what their motivations are. Of course that’s an unfair characterization, but it holds true in my experience most of the time.

 

[AprilR]

I only know one autistic person irl. We don't have much in common, but at least i don't have to pretend with him like i do with everyone else. I would like to make more autistic friends irl as well.


Looking back, most of my friends were outcasts/ people with mental illnesses and disabilities. I don't think i have ever connected with someone who was "normal"

 

[Owliet]

i've got a friend that's also on the spectrum, She and i understand things better and we can relate to each others experinces. She also doesn't make fun of me if i take a joke/sarcastic comment seriously and doesn't find it rude if i forget things like names etc. It's great! i recommend to all to befriend some fellow diagnosis wizards, it's like finding home

I have met more people who were on the spectrum at university and it was such a nice feeling to have people who just understood me. Granted, we had different interests and motivations for things but it was nice to come together and just have people accept and understand the weird things we do without judgement. It was very nice.

think neurodivergent people tend to, for the most part, keep their guards up.

Yes, I keep my guard up around people — it takes a long time to let it down and when I do, something happens that makes me wonder why I let it down.

Looking back, most of my friends were outcasts/ people with mental illnesses and disabilities. I don't think i have ever connected with someone who was "normal"

Friends that I have made in the past, have been those considered as “oddballs”.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

To think that anyone knows anyone is a bit foolish, at best.

Its called Marketing, and works. Its called Politics, and works. Its done by Youtube, Facebook, and Ticktock artificial intelligences and it works.

NT do work in very similar ways. They are Zerg humans, and have evolved to work in very big groups and merge with those groups. If they grow in a soccer society they will love soccer, if the person in power uses iPhones they will want to have an iPhone. If the see a very good Marketing campaing about how cool is to give a Diamond to your future wife... Well, they all will want to buy Diamonds at the same time.

https://www.theatlantic.com/interna...-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/
So those are NTs, complex but very alike.

ND, on the other hand are divergent by definition. They (we) are called "divergent", weird, strange... Because we are different.

I straight up find autistic people so boring. I feel like I have nothing to say to them because they’re all pretty much the same in terms of how their minds work and what their motivations are.

And this is wrong. Autistic minds are not alike. Some are verbal, others are not. Some have certain sensory issues, others have another different sensitivities, other have not. Some think in images, some are pattern finders, some thinks numerically and some think in other special ways. Some will love cars, some will be motivated by crafting, some will love stones...

So ND by definition are more different than NT.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Its called Marketing, and works. Its called Politics, and works. Its done by Youtube, Facebook, and Ticktock artificial intelligences and it works.

NT do work in very similar ways. They are Zerg humans, and have evolved to work in very big groups and merge with those groups. If they grow in a soccer society they will love soccer, if the person in power uses iPhones they will want to have an iPhone. If the see a very good Marketing campaing about how cool is to give a Diamond to your future wife... Well, they all will want to buy Diamonds at the same time.

https://www.theatlantic.com/interna...-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/
So those are NTs, complex but very alike.

ND, on the other hand are divergent by definition. They (we) are called "divergent", weird, strange... Because we are different.

To think that anyone knows anyone is a bit foolish, at best.

@Atrapa Almas, I would agree with your perspective,...common traits and behaviors that one can use for marketing and influence.

I, on the other hand, was speaking more of the unique characteristics that separate us all and make us individuals.

 

[Rodafina]

I have found my connections here on the forum. Many different levels of them. Even starting to form real friendship for the first time in my life.

But it makes me feel afraid. Will the forum ever go away? Could this whole place disappear and then I would be alone again?

When things become meaningful to me, I fear they will change or disappear.

 

[foliodoe]

I straight up find autistic people so boring. I feel like I have nothing to say to them because they’re all pretty much the same in terms of how their minds work and what their motivations are. Of course that’s an unfair characterization, but it holds true in my experience most of the time.

What's the point of this reply? Are you making fun of what I said?

 

[paloftoon]

What's the point of this reply? Are you making fun of what I said?

No offense, but it does deserve to be poked fun of. While this may be true of your experiences, we know that it is not necessarily true of the average person in the world. Maybe it's a sign that you need to get out and try new activities and be exposed to different people so that you don't get bored. You might get overwhelmed instead.. Can't win- right? lol!!

 

[Rodafina]

but it does deserve to be poked fun of.

@foliodoe,
I absolutely disagree with this statement ^. It is nonsensical for anyone here to think that being made fun of is valuable. Points can be made and different opinions can be had, but being made fun of is not right.

The post that you are alluding to seemed like they were trying to make the point that generalizing is wrong, but you indicated that with these words : “Of course that’s an unfair characterization, but it holds true in my experience most of the time.”

 

[Rodafina]

No offense, but it does deserve to be poked fun of.

How can you say this? Have you never been made fun of? What is the value in making fun of someone if your point is different than theirs? It seems like all of us can understand too well that being made fun of is hurtful and inefficient. Why would we do that among ourselves when so many of us have found it in the rest of our lives as well?

 

[Atrapa Almas]

No offense, but it does deserve to be poked fun of.

Who are you to decide who deserves to be poked fun of?

I strongly agree with Rodafina.

 

[Magna]

I straight up find autistic people so boring. I feel like I have nothing to say to them because they’re all pretty much the same in terms of how their minds work and what their motivations are. Of course that’s an unfair characterization, but it holds true in my experience most of the time.

I've had the opposite experience. Fellow autistic people are among my favorite people in the world. I have around a dozen autistic friends. One of the many things I like about them? It's like having experts in a broad range of interests and fields among the group of friends. Plus, you can freely ask them the most "out there" questions about their areas of interest and they don't think of you as some weirdo.

Another experience I've had is that every single one of my autistic friends is open, accepting and tolerant of people that are different from them. Try that with a typical group of NTs where conformity reigns supreme. I stand by that statement as fact.

 

[paloftoon]

How can you say this? Have you never been made fun of? What is the value in making fun of someone if your point is different than theirs? It seems like all of us can understand too well that being made fun of is hurtful and inefficient. Why would we do that among ourselves when so many of us have found it in the rest of our lives as well?

Probably all of us have been made fun of, and I'm no exception to this.
Of course, I don't enjoy being bullied.

The difference between the making fun of the idea of one type of person being boring or another is simply the idea that it is classy humor and it is simply entertainment type funny. The type of "poking fun" at that you and several others are implying is the type where bullies intentionally demean your character and not because they are trying to laugh for entertainment purely.

I'm sorry that the context of this all and the differences between an actual bully and people who are truly trying to make a (good) joke is hard to understand.

The humor in this context is not meant to be aimed at a particular person.

 

[Darkkin]

I like a person for who they are, not whether or not they have a divergence. There are people on this forum who are awesome, as well as those I don't care for and neurotype has nothing to do with it.

It has everything to do with what I read, hear, and see. There is a lot that comes out in language patterns, in real world interactions, and how others behave when they think they are anonymous.