Befriending people with other neurological conditions

[wyverary]

Recently, I have made online friends (through tumblr, where I blog a lot about mental illness) with a young woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. Obviously she is aware of her condition and is receiving treatment for it, which is extraordinary, but I find the dynamic between our two types interesting--we both have issues with boundaries, hers being too few and mine being too many. I like talking to her, but I am also intrigued at this rather unique dynamic.

My question is...how much experience do you have with bonding with others who have personality issues with which you may not get along, and maybe even clash with? I myself find this friendship fascinating, and I am wondering if any other Aspies here have ventured beyond their comfort zone and tried to connect with individuals that might be highly different from, or even polar opposites of, AS. I guess I find it easy to empathize and relate with people, something that is either completely in sync with or completely out of the league of people on the spectrum, so that's where I fall on the issue.

 

[gonzerd]

As it happens, one of my old time friends was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder a few years ago. I think we've known each other for about 18 years now; shared a house at one point, which wasn't easy. There's been quite a few years in between too where we didn't see or even hear each other that much. It's an interesting dynamic, but I'm not really sure I want to dissect that friendship too much. Sometimes it's amazing fun, other times we just clash.

I do think that having ASD, or BPD, or any of these things, can make for an increase in empathy. As we learn and accept our own foibles and eccentricities, we have to accept others for having theirs. It breeds a certain openness. Something like that.

 

[Suzanne]

I found my first REAL friend, some 3 year's ago, or there abouts and it never fails to awe me, because, for one thing, she is now 19, compared to my, tomorrow, being 45 (happily don't celebrate).

It is only fairly recently that we found out with great surprise, that she is also an aspie but explains our rich connection. As I was getting to accept and feel more confident, talking about my issues, she kept saying: wow that is exactly how I am and took the test and voila.

I don't know what I would do, without my wonderful friend!

 

[Nitro]

Maybe I should point out to our mod that all here are not aspie

That is kind of a loaded question and not easy to answer in my eyes...I have some polar opposite friends who should seek help and never will...

 

[AsheSkyler]

I don't think I've ever really made friends with somebody of a different neurological or psychological profile, aside from the obvious allistic option. And aside from bipolar folk, I seem to be a magnet for them. Possibly the most unique friend I made was a therian/otherkin, a kind of animal-based shamanistic faith if I remember correctly. Very fascinating, and she was kind and understanding enough that my picking her brains over it wasn't the least bit based in malicious intent. I did once have a pleasant conversation with a girl who had schizophrenia and Asperger's, we had fun comparing notes on various issues. I invited her to come here since she didn't know there were friendly AS communities out there, but I don't know if she ever did.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Maybe I should point out to our mod that all here are not aspie

That is kind of a loaded question and not easy to answer in my eyes...I have some polar opposite friends who should seek help and never will...

Oh Nitro.....I have this nasty NT thing going on and I can't seem to get rid of it. What do you suggest I do about that? I just know you have a cure.

 

[Nitro]

Oh Nitro.....I have this nasty NT thing going on and I can't seem to get rid of it. What do you suggest I do about that? I just know you have a cure.

I don't think they found a cure for it yet,but the research looks promising...

I would suggest finding a good NTSD forum to network with others who share your plight for coping and life skills in your challenging world

 

[Judge]

It's feasible I have in my distant past, but given I've only been aware of such differences in the last two years, there's no way I can definitively answer such a question.

I have my suspicions...but I suppose that's all they will ever amount to.

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="wyverary, My question is...how much experience do you have with bonding with others who have personality issues with which you may not get along, and maybe even clash with? I myself find this friendship fascinating, and I am wondering if any other Aspies here have ventured beyond their comfort zone and tried to connect with individuals that might be highly different from, or even polar opposites of, AS.[/QUOTE]

Well in principal I believe in giving everyone a chance, but I have paid dearly in a similar situation. However every person is unique I guess it would depend on how careful that person was not to use or harm you. As a auti/aspie I'm easily squeezed, perhaps you are tougher and your friend maybe nicer. In the end only you can choose how much you are willing to risk. What ever you decide, remember online friends and real world friends are not the same, in the real world things are much more messy and you take much more damage. But life is about making gambles and hoping you bet wisely, you could just meet your friend and see if it goes well.

 

[Spiller]

My ex-GF had OCD and anxiety, my best friend has ME, my two new friends (married) have OCD/Anxiety and Dyslexia/PTSD and my newest friend is a survivor of domestic abuse.
(Excuse the odd phrasing, but friends are a rather new experience for me ).
I guess that maybe like attracts like? Difference is drawn to difference.
I get on with them all because they all seem to have an alternate, 'outsider' perspective, compared to members of society in general .. it helps that one of them is a huge fan of Star Trek and another has the heart of an Angel

 

[Sagigirl14]

Well, my ex-husband is somewhere on the spectrum, just not sure where. I'm almost sure that I'm Aspie, but can't diagnose myself, (still haven't found out for sure yet). I have almost every symptom though, which some of you know about me already. Which could also explain why my son is high-functioning Autistic. He's one of the smartest in his classes though. I also have a co-worker that has a form of Autism called Fragile X. He's very friendly and talkative with everyone he meets, and would never hurt a fly. I don't think I've ever really seen him mad. Lol!

 

[Aspieistj]

How could I not be friendly toward people with different neurological disorders when I am in constant pain because of the general public's dismissal of Asperger Syndrome? I don't deserve to be mistreated and neither do they. The more people who have an understanding of neurological differences, the better the lives of those of us who are cursed by being different and misunderstood.

 

[danielcollins]

For me, every time I've met someone else with AS - we've not got on at all, they've rubbed me up the wrong way (totally unintentionally sometimes) or we just clash.

Although I am very sensitive towards others with mental illness, I'm always open to others issues. The only time I'd struggle to be friends with someone is if their mental illness caused others harm, that I couldn't handle and wouldn't condone (something my ex did).

 

[XandirKai]

I have a friend who is an aspie and schizophrenic. Also a friend with dissociative identity disorder. And a few others who have different mixes. My girlfriend has DID and may be on the spectrum, or not. I have no clue. Lol. I'm 99% sure that I am on the spectrum. And also have PTSD. I accept everyone as they are. I have clashed with some exes who were just not well at all and started to destroy me too. One of my obsessions is mental illnesses so everything just fascinates me. And my fellow aspie friend, it's nice to have someone to text and call, even though she moved back home in another state.