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Being alone/Pushy People

Aspychata

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
So my obsession is me time. I don't get why people think they can change me. My mom was shocked when l married. Because l always spent a lot of time alone doing things as a teen. Didn't marry until about 38, and didn't care l wasn't married. I have many life experiences, l am content in my lifetime. We should have a national alone day off where we rejoice in nothing but quiet time. I help a older lady at this place l work with her cat. But the minute l came out, some older guy who creeps me out is in my face. So today l stay home and celebrate my aloneness.

How do you handle pushy people? Do you feel that people seem to feel that they need to involve themselves in your life? Social norms are that you need to respect (fill in your words)......
 
I don't have a problem with pushy people. I have learned to politely let them know to either step back, to stop touching me, or to talk more slowly.
It works for me. People sometimes just need feedback, they don't mean go be creepy or rude.
 
Sadly, this guy has grabbed my hands, made suggestive remarks, and other things. At this point, l am creeped out by his behaviour.
 
I run into lonely desperate men once in a while. Get their attention by using their name, softly. Then give clear instruction.
"Walter, let go of my hands."
"Walter, don't say those words to me."
If that doesn't work...I would leave at that point because I would lose my temper.
 
That's unfortunate the guy acted like that. I wouldn't like that at all.

In general though, I am a cranky old lady who dresses a bit idiosyncratically and isn't looking to make a lot of friends. So if any one acts weirdly toward me, I am able to let them know "where to get off."

And I love my alone time. I am in a good marriage and we sort of co-exist a lot of the time, coming together for meals and certain activities but also able to both be in separate rooms of the house doing our own thing.

I love old age! No pressures, few worries. Just me and my husband both being comfortable in our own skin.
 
BraidedPony said:
I run into lonely desperate men once in a while. Get their attention by using their name, softly. Then give clear instruction.
"Walter, let go of my hands."
"Walter, don't say those words to me."
If that doesn't work...I would leave at that point because I would lose my temper.
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Thank you. Most of the time l have the skill set to deal with it. I basically walked out of her place and was very happy that l could do a good deed. To me, helping out older ladies with cat issues makes me feel helpful and peaceful inside. ( l helped one lady who was 69, take her lifelong cat to the vet, it was the cat's time to go.) So that happy feeling was trashed and l was upset that l was facing this guy again. I am also small in my arms and hands and l worry about being physically overpowered. I am actually a petite frame.
 
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Might I suggest the ballshocker 5000? 5 milliamps to the family jewels has been proven to reduce sexual desire in 98.7% of men. The other 1.3% have a weird fetish.
 
It's too bad they don't make airbags for people. If someone gets too close 'Pop' and the bag inflates sending them flying.

Personnel space has always been important. I like a lot of it. I am always surprised how in some situations or cultures there doesn't seem to be any. Like in some places every one in a line is spaced apart, and others everyone scrunches up together.
 
This basically is a job situtation and l really can't do much about it. This older guy has been here at this facility for sometime. And l have pretty much no standing which reminds me of learned helplessness. But releasing this at this forum has helped alot.

But l find solace in my empty apartment as soon as l walk through the door.
 
Aspychata said:
This basically is a job situtation and l really can't do much about it. This older guy has been here at this facility for sometime. And l have pretty much no standing which reminds me of learned helplessness. But releasing this at this forum has helped alot.

But l find solace in my empty apartment as soon as l walk through the door.
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have you read your contract ?do you have one ?what does it say about personal safety ?:)
 
Aspychata said:
This basically is a job situtation and l really can't do much about it. This older guy has been here at this facility for sometime. And l have pretty much no standing which reminds me of learned helplessness. But releasing this at this forum has helped alot.

But l find solace in my empty apartment as soon as l walk through the door.
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Surely if it's work that's a situation to report to HR?
 
HR will side with resident. He has been there forever. l need to eat dirt and grow mushrooms. l did say he had a potty mouth within earshot of his guests. Score one point for the opposition.
 
Woman struggle daily with crap. l hope l bring awareness to this forum, and being on the spectrum can make it tougher.
 
Thanks. Seeing yout point of view does help me do better around women. Though i try to be respectful at all times.
 
Sexual harassment lawsuit, or stop whining.

You don't have to deal with it unless you want to. Now if you are a guy, and you get sexually harassed by a female superior? You just have to deal with it then because nobody will take that seriously. Get this in front of a judge and the company is toast, so you just need to inform them of the sexual harassment and the guy will be gone within a week.

The absolute worst thing you can do is gossip about it without making any official complaints. That will get you fired.
 
AloneNotLonely said:
Sexual harassment lawsuit, or stop whining.

You don't have to deal with it unless you want to. Now if you are a guy, and you get sexually harassed by a female superior? You just have to deal with it then because nobody will take that seriously. Get this in front of a judge and the company is toast, so you just need to inform them of the sexual harassment and the guy will be gone within a week.

The absolute worst thing you can do is gossip about it without making any official complaints. That will get you fired.
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Just asking did you understand this is a resident at a nursing home
 
I am so sorry @Aspychata. Not all men are jerks. Can you bring a friend with you? Maybe one of the employees could be there?

I know he is old but his attitude toward you seems to me to indicate that he has pushed himself on women all his life. And that just makes me angry. You should feel safe, the nursing home needs to do something about him. You are there helping one of their residents they should help you do so without harassment...
 
Patients with dementia often have loss of inhibition, and that includes inhibition related to sexuality. I'd address the problem with management, but it's not a sexual harassment issue as usually defined (workplace, by one worker to another) but a behavioral issue on the part of the patient. Maybe a change in meds could even help the individual.
 
Sorry to hear this. This patient has dementia? If so he can't help what he's doing. Still you deserve to feel safe so maybe have someone else be with you at all times.
 
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