Being independent in a new state

[Berianireth]

Hi,
This is my first topic... I hope it's not terribly forward of me to start up my own thread the day that I join! I may as well introduce myself while I'm at it. I'm a 26 year old Post-Bacc student of Biology, and I was recently accepted to a Neuroscience PhD program in a state halfway across the country from where I have lived for the past 16 years. Going to college was a really big adjustment for me, and it changed my life in unimaginable ways. I wish the transition had been smoother... in retrospect I realize that there were a lot of opportunities for friendships, stability, and success that I missed out on because I was going through a phase where I was flippant about my diagnosis of Aspergers. I missed issues with things like time management and routine problems that I could have dealt with on my own if I hadn't been in complete denial. I have another problem emerging in front of me now... I am beginning a five year PhD program with little "outside" work experience. I did a lot on campus that imbued me with relevant skills as an undergraduate student, but I did these things to such an extent that I made myself look strange and unwelcoming to my peers. I am sure that I am not making an entirely wrong-headed decision by continuing my education. I caught on to what I was doing wrong within the past year and I have finally had some off-campus experience, and I have even been putting in more effort to communicate with people and fill them in on what kinds of things I just don't get because of my ASD!
I know that my PhD program offers wonderful opportunities to its students for networking, and they do have disability services. The area I am moving to is known for being quite fun and outdoorsy, and I'm really hoping this could be a turning point in my life. I don't expect miracles of course, but I'd like to secure myself a future... I've heard the horror stories of PhD students that are too overqualified to ever find work, and although the sciences tend to be an exception to this problem I am afraid my Aspergers will rear its ugly head and the quest for work could take me years after I graduate. My parents are older and it probably need not be mentioned that I struggle to find other people that can help me get by if I need a place to stay. What do I do to keep my fixations and social ineptitude from creating a disaster after I finish my education?
Advice in the form of how you have handled moving, education, employment gaps, or finding new friends would be lovely. ^.^
Pardon me if this post sounds rushed and frantic. I am just at a loss about how to capture what I'm concerned about. I'd like to keep my attitude about the endeavor positive, so I am hoping that all conveys clearly.

 

[wyverary]

I am beginning a five year PhD program with little "outside" work experience. I did a lot on campus that imbued me with relevant skills as an undergraduate student, but I did these things to such an extent that I made myself look strange and unwelcoming to my peers. I am sure that I am not making an entirely wrong-headed decision by continuing my education. I caught on to what I was doing wrong within the past year and I have finally had some off-campus experience, and I have even been putting in more effort to communicate with people and fill them in on what kinds of things I just don't get because of my ASD!

This could well be an advantage, actually! If you're going into a PhD program, your work is going to be incredibly focused, and social skills aren't as important as they might be in other lines of work. And now that you're no longer "in denial" of your ASD issues, well, that's just another tool in your belt...at least you know what it is you have to work on.

Good luck in your studies! If you feel comfortable sharing, what is your field?

 

[Berianireth]

I think that you're right, social skills aren't as important and the degree of specialization definitely is a bonus for someone like me that can't tell when they've been stuck on the same topic for several days.
However, there are a lot of "politics" in the sciences that I am not aware of as quickly as most people are, and it worries me a lot. I'm not exactly sure what I've missed, but I end up playing second fiddle frequently because I miss things. I think my fixations end up conveying to a lot of people that I don't give a flip about them even in a setting where people tend to have a focus. Oddly enough, I'm interested in the molecular epigenetics of maladaptive responses to trauma, and this doesn't resonate most places because most people that study anything that can be described as "molecular" and "neuroscience" are looking at autism, and they really can't tell I'm on the spectrum.
I'm hoping that since my program is so flexible that I'll be able to avoid going against the grain too much, and maybe I can end up on fairly good terms with people without being socially adept. I'd still like to work on having rewarding social experiences off-campus though. Has anyone had any success in finding a "niche" socially? I don't expect I'll ever be as capable of participating in a social circle as much as NTs are, but I am just assuming most AS people are able to find a balance outside of work/school.

 

[faithmclaine]

Hi I am am very new to all this was originally diagnosed with social phobia but went back to the doctor with sensory issues labels on clothing and asked if it is possible they said yes since I had been sacked from two apprenticeships and one job becoz of communication issues and apparently being abrupt not that I agree with that anyway I watched this video on youtube I think it may be of some encouragement its called aspies are awesome by dr gill really good and feeling much better

 

[Berianireth]

Faith, I've been told I'm too abrupt many times. I've gotten a lot better as I have gotten older with that thankfully. I am able to tell from other people's expressions when I have picked an odd moment to start speaking. Usually I just have trouble with people that like hearing themselves too much now lol!
Sometimes it helps to just slow down and let a few ideas go. I think people with ASDs take in way too many features of conversations sometimes and then we feel inclined to start giving input on the things nobody else really wants to talk about.