Being patient with behaviors neurotypcials do not (generally) tolerate

[Myrtonos]

How many posters here accept behaviors that hardly any neurotypicals would accept?

 

[Rodafina]

Could someone give me some examples of what these would be?

 

[Kirsty]

Yeah, give us examples, please.

 

[NB79]

I think 'normal' people, get easily put off by autistics behaviour, because they have that 'fine social sense' so subconsciously or not they know something is off from normal.

 

[Myrtonos]

Yes, they are put off by behavior that autistics exhibit that neurotyicals do not but apparently just because someone exhibits such behavior does not mean they are patient with or tolerate it from other people.

Does anyone here, however, accept behaviors that hardly any neurotypicals accept? That is the question here.

 

[NB79]

Just a thought:
I think this happens with autistics also, that for example, autistics are on a chat, and we can barely 'endure' each other awkwardness because there is a sense that showing this, makes you vulnerable, or look bad, so people not open up too much, because they don't want other to reject them or think they are dumb or too weird.

 

[NB79]

Yes, they are put off by behavior that autistics exhibit that neurotyicals do not but apparently just because someone exhibits such behavior does not mean they are patient with or tolerate it from other people.

Does anyone here, however, accept behaviors that hardly any neurotypicals accept? That is the question here.

I always try to understand autistics may need more patience and understanding than other people when you deal with them, because i know from my own experience. So i try to accept any behaviour unless the other person is rude or mean.

 

[AprilR]

Def. True in my case. I try to be non judgmental and understanding of weird behavior, like people who talk to themselves, people with tics and such.

 

[Gerontius]

I am less grossed out by people talking or joking about suicide. A lot of times, a good suicide joke is the one thing standing between depressed people & the abyss.

It's not so big a problem when someone comes up to me and infodumps about something that is maybe only interesting to himself.

It's ok with me if people don't react to something I put on the internet. Sometimes not everyone has the energy to reply or react to something even if they liked it.

 

[Myrtonos]

I always try to understand autistics may need more patience and understanding than other people when you deal with them, because i know from my own experience. So i try to accept any behaviour unless the other person is rude or mean.

Sounds like you have learned accept behaviors other than those that that are rude or mean.

Def. True in my case. I try to be non judgmental and understanding of weird behavior, like people who talk to themselves, people with tics and such.

Yes, maybe because you know what it is like to be judged.

I am less grossed out by people talking or joking about suicide. A lot of times, a good suicide joke is the one thing standing between depressed people & the abyss.

I myself am not concerned per se about suicide, more about suicidal depression, mainly among the autistic community.

How many posters here have always been patient with a behavior that hardly any neurotypicals tolerate or naturally accepting a behavior hardly any neurotypicals?

 

[AO1501]

How many posters here have always been patient with a behavior that hardly any neurotypicals tolerate or naturally accepting a behavior hardly any neurotypicals?

It's a bit of a nonsense question really, since the neurodiverse among us are almost certain to be more accepting or tolerant of behaviors which neurotypical people aren't. We're likely to be similarly judged or criticized for similar behaviors by NTs around us, and since we share many behavioral characteristics with others on the spectrum, we're much more likely to be accepting of those behaviors.

 

[Vindiesel]

My favorite is going into supermarkets and when I check out the cashier doesn't say a word and does their job. Or going into work and people do not say "hi" or "how was your weekend?" or acknowledge my presence when were there everyday 5-6days a week. A lot of social platitudes I find are overly redundant or down right disingenuous. I would like to say "I validate your existence" and see what cringe face I receive haha.

Most neurotypicals may see not validating their existence by the normal social platitudes is "that person doesn't like me or they are in a bad mood or they must be depressed or sad" I see it as they are busy and focused nor do I care.

I think transparency/bluntness is a rarity anymore....you see it online but never really see it in person anymore. People want to dance around their reality...I would rather speak it or question it instead of waste energy or fabricating what I think others think if it is of value to me.

 

[Prometheus]

I find schizophrenia fascinating, in print, on film, in song, online. In real life, I am not fazed, just curious. People actin weird around me, what can they do to me?, most of them are too out of it, or just minding their own business. I think I am tolerant. Somebody with a tic is harmless, somebody with a weird manner is harmless. Nine times out of ten. It's the person who gets aggressive, or postures aggressive that I am only concerned with, and alerted to. Other than that, I try to be level headed. In real life, I hide my eccentricities, to most people, and can do so effectively, on a superficial level. But inside, I am probably disordered by normal standards. But I am, or can be, very nonchalant around stuff, that others find upsetting.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am OK with very direct, blunt, statements. I do that and many NTs seem uncomfortable with it. While I try to be accepting what bothers me greatly with both NT and ND is related to our ability to change. Many of us, in order to navigate this world, see to our health and well being, and be autonomous, have had to learn new things, taxing our abilities and facing our anxieties head on. Consequently, I have little patience with whining by anybody about conditions resulting from their choices and who refuses to change.

 

[tree]

Does anyone here, however, accept behaviors that hardly any neurotypicals accept? That is the question here.

Somehow, magically/intuitively everyone is supposed to know
what "behaviors that hardly any neurotypicals accept"?

That is a flaw in the premise of this thread.
The assumption that people reading this have access to the
thoughts & feelings of a general group of people labeled NTs.

Even if they did, how would a person identify an NT?
Through a special gift that allows them to *just know* on sight
a person's neurology?

How about listing five or ten of these behaviors?

 

[Gerontius]

I am OK with very direct, blunt, statements. I do that and many NTs seem uncomfortable with it. While I try to be accepting what bothers me greatly with both NT and ND is related to our ability to change. Many of us, in order to navigate this world, see to our health and well being, and be autonomous, have had to learn new things, taxing our abilities and facing our anxieties head on. Consequently, I have little patience with whining by anybody about conditions resulting from their choices and who refuses to change.

I sometimes get this way too. But then again I can also say that when you've run out of everything, it's pretty easy to forget how to fix that. A bit tough sometimes.
For myself, I'm often more inclined to mess everything up. It's really hard to be able to change when you can't tell if you're happy or sad, but only want it to be worse so you can at least feel something.

One side effect often found in autistic people is a hard time realizing cause-and-effect. That's a thing to keep in mind before getting too enthusiastic chewing people out.

 

[Judge]

Odd question, in that it sounds like there is a presumption of what neurodiverse traits and behaviors neurotypicals are apt to accept or reject. When the reality is that the vast majority of neurotypicals are either indifferent or ignorant of autism altogether. Not to mention that with so many of their social protocols which continue to remain a mystery to so many of us on the spectrum. Where we might be able to identify them, yet have no conception as to what may motivate them.

In essence, IMO such a question cannot be realistically addressed, let alone answered. Perhaps rephrasing it might lead to another conclusion. "You tell me" .....

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I sometimes get this way too. But then again I can also say that when you've run out of everything, it's pretty easy to forget how to fix that. A bit tough sometimes.
For myself, I'm often more inclined to mess everything up. It's really hard to be able to change when you can't tell if you're happy or sad, but only want it to be worse so you can at least feel something.

One side effect often found in autistic people is a hard time realizing cause-and-effect. That's a thing to keep in mind before getting too enthusiastic chewing people out.

You are correct. Younger, I would act or react impulsively without thinking through the consequences. The fallout from some of that tought me to be circumspect. At a time afterward when managing a small group of people, I went overboard in taking responsibility for the actions of others.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

How many posters here accept behaviors that hardly any neurotypicals would accept?

I do. It seems to be quite the "talent" I have is attracting individuals who, for whatever reason, are "a few degrees off of cool" (schizophrenics, fellow autistics, ADHD-types, the "nerd" and "geeky" types of people, and others with vague "personality disorders"). I have been told several times over the years that I am extremely patient with people. Of course, these are the same people that my neurotypical friends and colleagues dislike, complain about, and generally have no patience for. In a crowd of people, I am the one who will make eye contact with these people and walk up to them, or they will walk up to me. At the hospital, we occasionally have a family that is particularly difficult to be around, but with me, we get along just fine. It's quite a phenomenon. I haven't been able to really put a reason on it.

So, as far as specific behaviors, frankly, I really couldn't tell you what they were. I just think that as a person with an ASD, I'm NOT picking up on all the other non-verbal communication, so I am more likely to make a limited assessment and be more accepting.

On the other hand, I am thinking this same situation makes me a bit socially naive and could, and has, put me at risk from people with nefarious intent. I tend to let my wife do the talking with people at the door or on the phone.

 

[Tom]

The inverse of course, is how many behaviors do we find difficult to tolerate that NTs tolerate easily.