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Being perceived as spiteful when you're not

vergil96

vergil96

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
When I'm rested everything is fine. When I'm tired, I start to experience all the typical ASD social interaction problems: I either respond with an "aha" or monologue, don't notice I'm boring or annoying someone, can't focus on the conversation while making (even fake) eye contact at the same time, I'm not sure which facial expression someone made and I'm not making facial expressions myself or frown. It's not a problem, the problem is that people think that I'm being mean and that I'm angry. Or that I'm quarreling. They have the right to be annoyed, but what bothers me is being perceived as having bad intentions.

Or sometimes people think I ignore them on purpose, when I don't hear them talking, because it's noisy.

Do you have ways to cope with it?
 
That doesn't happen very often with me but there's still little issues from time to time. My relaxed facial expression is a bit of a silly grin. A couple of ladies I worked with one time started calling me Mr Bean.

For the most part there's nothing wrong seen with someone that spins off in to happy daydreams but that same silly facial grin also appears when someone gets aggressive with me. They get angry and I look happy about it, that can go either way. :)
 
Resting grump face...I have it. It is powered down neutral, meaning I want nothing from you, just let me be. Try and force an interaction like an overly friendly golden retriever and I will give you flatline level engagement.

Basically if you annoy a cat or try and force it to interact on your terms and it looks at you like you've lost your mind...(I have that same expression.)
 
Realize that the only thing that we can know about others is through their actions. Because of the inability to understand social communication, my default communication was always reasoned and kind. Sometimes direct when that was necessary, but usually kept to myself unless discussions trended towards things I knew. I would abstain from conversations about other people.
 
Let's just say that this thread reminds me most of when I cannot mask, or fail in trying.

Simply when I'm either tired, angry or both. Then my "true colors" seem to emerge whether I want it or not. Along with my Tidewater accent....lol. My bad....

As for *resting grump face,* it's quite usual for me no matter what I'm feeling- or thinking.
 
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I usually don't have that problem because I tend to stay away from socializing in person

But all I can say is that all you can do (and this is a recommendation) is to just ignore what others think. It is not your problem how your actions make them feel if they are not badly intentioned.

You know how you are feeling and why you're acting that way and that is enough, if the world doesn't like it then it's not your problem. Be yourself and be happy, people will talk anyways

Sorry if this is read blunt or mean,
 
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