Being yelled at for food preferences @ work

[Arashi222]

I am wondering if anyone has been yelled at by fellow employees because you won't eat something. I went back to the deli today to get some pizza. I have this thing about Pizza having to be circular and not square if its not square I won't eat it. So someone messed up the pizza today when they were thawing the dough or something and it was anything but a circle so I said I can't eat that its not a circle. The woman that made the pizza in the deli got pissed off at me and yelled at me several different times for me turning my nose at it and for the fact that I proclaimed that it wasn't circular three times because I do everything in threes. I don't know what to do. this partuclar deli worker has such a harsh tone with everyone she will hammer you down until you you just wanna crawl away. I hate talking to her. SO I don't know what to say to her now. I have food issues...like most Aspies. One of the reasons at home I cook all the meals. So that i can use the pans I want the dishes I want and the utensils I want.

So what do I do?

 

[Mike_GX1]

It is up to you what you eat as it is your body.

Take in your own sandwiches cut in the shape you like and when she offers you food you can justly turn round and say "no thanks, I'm full - I've just eaten".

If she still has a problem you have something more to go on as to whether there is more to her harsh tones because some times it is the straw that breaks the camels back which can be an inconvenience but certainly wasn't the original thing that caused the real frustration.

I don't want to appear harsh but I learned from bitter experience - some times you have to read between the lines and see if there are any other reasons behind their behaviour. Is she like it with everyone for example?

 

[Arashi222]

It is up to you what you eat as it is your body.

Take in your own sandwiches cut in the shape you like and when she offers you food you can justly turn round and say "no thanks, I'm full - I've just eaten".

If she still has a problem you have something more to go on as to whether there is more to her harsh tones because some times it is the straw that breaks the camels back which can be an inconvenience but certainly wasn't the original thing that caused the real frustration.

I don't want to appear harsh but I learned from bitter experience - some times you have to read between the lines and see if there are any other reasons behind their behaviour. Is she like it with everyone for example?

She is often rude and yells at everyone in harsh tones she will argue you into a corner until you concede she is right. But I don't know what to do about this. She thinks I am already weird anyway. But I get annoyed when she yells at me all the time for my weird food preferences. I am allowed to eat what I want and buy what I want with my money. So I don't know what to do to make her back off. Its my food.

 

[Soup]

She sounds like one of those arrogant obnoxious characters. They're out there in almost every workplace.

Good news: YOU don't have to make her back off, make her understand or even explain yourself to her. Isn't that great? She is who & what she is. Just be glad that YOU aren't like HER. Being mean-spirited wreaks havoc on the body & the mind. She'll wind up on all kinds of blood pressure meds one day or possibly having a massive heart attack.

More good news: If you want to eat your pizza cut into wombat shapes, it's YOUR damned pizza that you paid for with the money you earned. So long as you aren't trying to compel anyone else to eat the way you do, it is entirely & solely YOUR business!

You want to do or say things in threes? Knock yourself out. Eat your pizza in 3 bites if you want to. Break your pizza into 3 even portions. So long as you aren't harming yourself ot anyone else, pressuring anyone else to do things your way or doing something that is gross & disgusting, IT'S YOUR CHOICE!

 

[imagesbyholly]

Haha wombats!
Anyway- it might help your peace of mind to simply say "I don't want it" (three times, if you want) and walk away. You don't have to give her any reasons. I"m a little confused though- do you work at the deli Arashi? Or is it a cafeteria at work? I guess it would be hard to ever get a round pizza from this woman. You may have the option of complaining to her superiors- odd request or not she shouldn't be mean or rude. Customer service is very important. She should go work at that restauraunt where they are supposed to be mean to you : ) I can't remember the name, but we have one near us in Nashville.

 

[Soup]

Many of us Aspies & Aspie types have weird food habits. My tendency is to want all my food in separate sections with nothing touching on my plate: peas in one heap, mashed potatoes in another, meat in a 3rd section. My husband will take his plate, cut the meat into roughly 1" squares, then... (hyperventilate...) STIR ALL HIS FOOD TOGETHER UNTIL IT LOOKS LIKE BARF!!! Now, I have a hard time even looking at him & watching him do it freaks me out so...I just don't look! I keep my eyes n my own carefully separated plate.

Another unorthodox thing I've seen him do is to take a slice of pizza from a round pizza. He now has a triangle with one crusty convex edge. Beginning at the point, he starts rolling the slice towards the crust (AAUUGGHH!!!). It becomes a really thick spiralled mass. He then opens his mouth as wide as the grand canyon & proceeds to take big bites, devouring an entire slice of pizza in 5 bites. I, on the other hand, have to eat mine with a fork & a knife: no grease or sauce may touch me. Here too, I use the 'look the other way' strategy. I've seen him make left-overs concoctions (all stirred into a mass & nuked) blorp ketchup on it then cover it with this pickle slices & wolf it down (perhaps he's pregnant!).

Best to learn to mind one's own affairs, not eat or arrange another's food & keep your eyes on your own plate.

 

[Pella]

As long as they have the round option, they should be willing to make it for you, if she won't do it, or degrades you because of your request, I would complain to her superiors. She's not doing her job. I used to work in retail, and no matter how you feel personally or what's going on in your life you aren't supposed to take it out on the customers. And you have every right to make requests, as long as they are capable there is no reason they shouldn't be willing to accomadate you, that's their job. When I worked in retail, there were many times I had to go out of my way for my customers, and I did it because it was my job.

 

[Pella]

Many of us Aspies & Aspie types have weird food habits. My tendency is to want all my food in separate sections with nothing touching on my plate: peas in one heap, mashed potatoes in another, meat in a 3rd section. My husband will take his plate, cut the meat into roughly 1" squares, then... (hyperventilate...) STIR ALL HIS FOOD TOGETHER UNTIL IT LOOKS LIKE BARF!!! Now, I have a hard time even looking at him & watching him do it freaks me out so...I just don't look! I keep my eyes n my own carefully separated plate.

Another unorthodox thing I've seen him do is to take a slice of pizza from a round pizza. He now has a triangle with one crusty convex edge. Beginning at the point, he starts rolling the slice towards the crust (AAUUGGHH!!!). It becomes a really thick spiralled mass. He then opens his mouth as wide as the grand canyon & proceeds to take big bites, devouring an entire slice of pizza in 5 bites. I, on the other hand, have to eat mine with a fork & a knife: no grease or sauce may touch me. Here too, I use the 'look the other way' strategy. I've seen him make left-overs concoctions (all stirred into a mass & nuked) blorp ketchup on it then cover it with this pickle slices & wolf it down (perhaps he's pregnant!).

Best to learn to mind one's own affairs, not eat or arrange another's food & keep your eyes on your own plate.

Omg that would so freak me out, I remember a girl at break with me, she was mixing mashed potatoes with mustard, i put my notebook in front of my face to cover it and they thought i was being silly, i was about to go sit at another table.

with my own food, I need things to be seperate, because i don't want the taste, or juices from one to contaminate another. My boyfriend will often serve me different portions of the dish on seperate plates so that the foods don't contaminate eachother. He gets confused sometimes, why I want cheese on my fish but not my vegtables.

 

[Soup]

Pella, your separate plates approach makes perfect sense to me. Also, I can put cheese on some foods but not on others. Although all the food winds up in the same place, gross stuff happens IF they come into contact with each other beforehand. I know that this is an illogical & unscientific belief: if peas creep under my mashed potatoes, nothing will be wrong with either one germs-wise, BUT when I take a forkful of mashed potatoes I do NOT want to be mortified by an unexpected green lump! After all, had I wanted to eat peas, that is what I would've piled onto my fork!!!

 

[Pella]

Pella, your separate plates approach makes perfect sense to me. Also, I can put cheese on some foods but not on others. Although all the food winds up in the same place, gross stuff happens IF they come into contact with each other beforehand. I know that this is an illogical & unscientific belief: if peas creep under my mashed potatoes, nothing will be wrong with either one germs-wise, BUT when I take a forkful of mashed potatoes I do NOT want to be mortified by an unexpected green lump! After all, had I wanted to eat peas, that is what I would've piled onto my fork!!!

I hate it when people say it all ends up in the same place anyway. It doesn't matter so much when its in your stomach, the point is you have to taste it, and just because they don't care how it tastes, or if they like it like that, doesn't mean you can't have a different preference. I usually eat the least apetizing thing first, or the thing most likely to contaminate the other foods, or to be contaminated first.

 

[Soup]

Me too! I like to take precautions. If I'm stuck eating at some function or at someone's house, it becomes more complicated. I've become a master at slipping gross stuff into a paper napkin while nobody is looking then discretely flushing it down the toilet! My plate looks as though I actually ate some gruesome meal, but since everyone was busy blabbering all through the meal, nobody noticed a thing! An Aspie (like James Bond) must always be prepared with an arsenal of survival strategies!

 

[Arashi222]

Haha wombats!
Anyway- it might help your peace of mind to simply say "I don't want it" (three times, if you want) and walk away. You don't have to give her any reasons. I"m a little confused though- do you work at the deli Arashi? Or is it a cafeteria at work? I guess it would be hard to ever get a round pizza from this woman. You may have the option of complaining to her superiors- odd request or not she shouldn't be mean or rude. Customer service is very important. She should go work at that restauraunt where they are supposed to be mean to you : ) I can't remember the name, but we have one near us in Nashville.

I work at a grocery store I work the front end Customer service manager/self check attendant. She works in the deli. Now I get my food from the deli sometimes. They can't make it special as it would take too long but I just there was no reason for her to ***** at me because of my food choice. I just felt bad because she yelled at me because I didn't and wouldn/couldn't eat her pizza and had to settle. I hate settling on other food when I have come for another meal. maybe she should go work at a place like that. I normally don't have food issues because I normally am the one that cooks in my house so there is no issue I make my food my way and eat it and serve it my way. I do take precautions at places where I know I can't eat anything at all but normally i can find a piece of cheese I can eat or something. I just ...it hurt me that she was soooo mean about my issues with food she was like eat the *F....pizza.

 

[Pella]

I work at a grocery store I work the front end Customer service manager/self check attendant. She works in the deli. Now I get my food from the deli sometimes. They can't make it special as it would take too long but I just there was no reason for her to ***** at me because of my food choice. I just felt bad because she yelled at me because I didn't and wouldn/couldn't eat her pizza and had to settle. I hate settling on other food when I have come for another meal. maybe she should go work at a place like that. I normally don't have food issues because I normally am the one that cooks in my house so there is no issue I make my food my way and eat it and serve it my way. I do take precautions at places where I know I can't eat anything at all but normally i can find a piece of cheese I can eat or something. I just ...it hurt me that she was soooo mean about my issues with food she was like eat the *F....pizza.

If she actually cursed at you, I think she should be written up, even though you work there, you are a customer, and what if she acts like that in front of someone who doesn't work there, other customers may have also witnessed it, and it may also affect your decision to eat there in the future. Her behavior is unacceptable and her superiors should be aware.

 

[Arashi222]

If she actually cursed at you, I think she should be written up, even though you work there, you are a customer, and what if she acts like that in front of someone who doesn't work there, other customers may have also witnessed it, and it may also affect your decision to eat there in the future. Her behavior is unacceptable and her superiors should be aware.

Her superior is a afraid of her he is suck wuss its not even funny. In fact he is the one that was manger tonight and I was trying to get him to understand what we needed and he just is...not a good manager. Oh some customers don't like her either. I know because she says she doesn't care. Which is fine I will not get her written up. I am not someone who is gonna rock the boat that badly. I would rather handle something on a personal level than tattle tale because that is how she would see it.

 

[Pella]

Her superior is a afraid of her he is suck wuss its not even funny. In fact he is the one that was manger tonight and I was trying to get him to understand what we needed and he just is...not a good manager. Oh some customers don't like her either. I know because she says she doesn't care. Which is fine I will not get her written up. I am not someone who is gonna rock the boat that badly. I would rather handle something on a personal level than tattle tale because that is how she would see it.

If it were me, I would feel the same way. It would feel very awkward to report someone. Also if nothing was done, it would just make it feel more awkward in the future. It sounds like nothing would be done because the manager wouldn't be capable of following through. But you decide to try and take it on, I would say that it is not tattling, she is aware that her behavior is inappropriate and makes a choice to do it anyway. The manager if unable to handle it, should be going to his superior and asking for back up. A person who is capable of alienating customers, other employees and intimidating their own manager does not need to be working in retail. This isn't your fault, I wish someone was there to not just champion for you, but for what is best for everyone. Its unfortunate you have to deal with someone like that, being already sensitive, but even if you weren't it sounds like she makes thing miserable for everyone, you shouldn't have to deal with this situation alone.

 

[Soup]

It's a shame that we can be made to feel intimidated or like whiners when we stand up for our rights. I agree 100% with Pella's thoughts on this. This woman is causing harm to the business. You are probably not the only person feeling so frustrated by her conduct. It's high time that a stop was put to her nonsense. I'd try the manager route & if that fails to yield results, write a letter to the owner documenting specific incidents & their impact on you as an employee & the potential impact on the business.

 

[Spinning Compass]

I used to work in food service and I can tell you that it is a stressful occupation. I am not defending what this person did or said; however, when you are preparing food for a lot of people and you only have a short time to do it in, sometimes you don't have the luxury of catering to people's whims. Especially when you don't understand the reason. Most food service people honestly don't understand why this is a big deal for you. Furthermore, that piece of pizza you refused because it wasn't cut right goes right into the garbage. When management is pressuring you to reduce waste and keep costs down, it's hard to say, Oh, that's ok, I'll make you another.

That said, there have been a few times where I have sent food back because it was not cooked correctly (either overdone or underdone), but it has to be something pretty serious. It's because I have worked the other side of the counter that I know what this sort of thing can do to a kitchen's schedule. Keep in mind that while you are concerned about one piece of pizza they are concerned with making sure everyone's orders come out correctly and when you are cooking a wide variety of items that vary in cooking times and techniques that is quite an accomplishment to keep it all straight. Keep in mind that most food service people not only aren't trained to deal with issues like that, they are very poorly paid and put in long hours on their feet. There is a saying about walking a mile in someone's moccasins.

For those who would criticize me for what I am saying, if you haven't worked in food service, I challenge you to get a job working behind the counter. I dare say that most people on the spectrum couldn't cut it. I lasted only two weeks at a Wendy's before being fired for not being fast enough. It was the only job that I have ever been fired from in all my years of working and the only reason they fired me was that they beat me to it before I was able to tell them I quit.

 

[Arashi222]

I used to work in food service and I can tell you that it is a stressful occupation. I am not defending what this person did or said; however, when you are preparing food for a lot of people and you only have a short time to do it in, sometimes you don't have the luxury of catering to people's whims. Especially when you don't understand the reason. Most food service people honestly don't understand why this is a big deal for you. Furthermore, that piece of pizza you refused because it wasn't cut right goes right into the garbage. When management is pressuring you to reduce waste and keep costs down, it's hard to say, Oh, that's ok, I'll make you another.

That said, there have been a few times where I have sent food back because it was not cooked correctly (either overdone or underdone), but it has to be something pretty serious. It's because I have worked the other side of the counter that I know what this sort of thing can do to a kitchen's schedule. Keep in mind that while you are concerned about one piece of pizza they are concerned with making sure everyone's orders come out correctly and when you are cooking a wide variety of items that vary in cooking times and techniques that is quite an accomplishment to keep it all straight. Keep in mind that most food service people not only aren't trained to deal with issues like that, they are very poorly paid and put in long hours on their feet. There is a saying about walking a mile in someone's moccasins.

For those who would criticize me for what I am saying, if you haven't worked in food service, I challenge you to get a job working behind the counter. I dare say that most people on the spectrum couldn't cut it. I lasted only two weeks at a Wendy's before being fired for not being fast enough. It was the only job that I have ever been fired from in all my years of working and the only reason they fired me was that they beat me to it before I was able to tell them I quit.

I understand what you are saying however...I did work behind the counter at the deli when I first started at my store years ago. I am in the front end of teh grcoery store now. I get that its not kosher I didn't take the pizza someone else would probably eat it. But she had no right in any way to yell at me for my choice not to choose to eat it. I didn't have pull it out for me. I saw what it looked like and said I didn't want it I would get something else. I get what you are saying but being in customer service like me and in the same store she shouldn't have yelled at me in front of everyone in teh freaking store because I wouldn't eat the stupid pieces of pizza. I don't think its right for her to get to yell at me just because of my choice. She yells at customers as I was this way and other employees I am an employee I still should not be treated that way. I have been in both places too. I think its not fair though.

 

[Jontish]

Did you ask to get a new pizza, without paying for it? Because I can see why they'd be unwilling to give you a new one just because it wasn't perfectly round.

Still, that woman's behavior is clearly unacceptable. If confronting someone about it is hard you could send an anonymous letter...

In your situation I would've thrown it away and either go hungry or bought another one and hoped it ended up being circular.

 

[Pella]

When I worked in retail, I worked in many departments. I worked in Jewelry, Cosmetics, Stationary, Small Appliances, Bakery, Ice Cream shop, Health and Beauty Care, and then also spent a good portion of the time around various departments of the store, doing resets, stocking, and generating reports. I am not saying it is ok to be wasteful, but unless the store has a policy on it, there is no reason for her to pay for something she couldn't eat. From my time there, there were so many times that food had to be thrown away for one reason or another. There was often discrepancies in inventory where items just weren't there and we had to fix the error. There were items that didn't sell but were there so long they basically "fell out" of the computer system, we got no credit for it and had to either throw them away or try to get some money for it. For example, we had a cart of candy bars sitting in our backroom for six months that had fallen out of the system, they had 25 cent store generated scan codes on them, but there was no place to put them on the sales floor. Bakery goods that were "expired" thrown away. In the ice cream shop, we had to take the large tubs of ice cream out and let them sit for about 10 minutes or so to soften enough where we could scoop them, so many times someone including me, would forget and leave them out overnight, then someone would come in the morning and have to clean it up, stuff happens. Arashi expected a certain product and it wasn't the product she asked for, it may not have been their fault but it wasn't hers either.

Arashi could have probably found something else, but she needed time to process what was happening, but was verbally attacked before she had the opportunity. There were times when I ordered something that wasn't what i thought it was, so i would decide is it my fault or not, if it was my fault I would pay for it. Also, when you don't have alot of money you can't be paying for something that you can't use, even if the item was a luxury to begin with.

I guess I have been in Arashi's situation before, and I know how it feels, so I feel like I got to fight for her even if I can't do anything about it.