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Best ways to deal with general and social anxiety.

Major Tom

Searching for ground control...
V.I.P Member
Hey all, I was just wondering about methods via coping mechanisms, pharmaceuticals, or alternate methods you use for coping with anxiety? I've tried various medicines, breathing techniques, and so on, all with minimum, to zero effect. I seem to live in a pretty constant state of mild to pretty severe anxiety, so strong, that unless I have to go to work, I rarely leave the house.

For me, the things that help me the most are being in nature, gardening, and music. The best overall was spending 10 months in the mountains with 2 dogs in a tent. Its was one of the most difficult, yet healing periods in my life. There were times there that my anxiety was just not a factor. The shame is that I can't live that lifestyle anymore. I have a wife and son to look after.

What are some of the things that help you with your anxiety? Any thoughts or techniques are welcomed.
 
Hey all, I was just wondering about methods via coping mechanisms, pharmaceuticals, or alternate methods you use for coping with anxiety? I've tried various medicines, breathing techniques, and so on, all with minimum, to zero effect. I seem to live in a pretty constant state of mild to pretty severe anxiety, so strong, that unless I have to go to work, I rarely leave the house.

For me, the things that help me the most are being in nature, gardening, and music. The best overall was spending 10 months in the mountains with 2 dogs in a tent. Its was one of the most difficult, yet healing periods in my life. There were times there that my anxiety was just not a factor. The shame is that I can't live that lifestyle anymore. I have a wife and son to look after.

What are some of the things that help you with your anxiety? Any thoughts or techniques are welcomed.

Stuff that sometimes helps me, or not...
Mind trips when I cant get away in real life.
Music that fills the hole inside me.
Sadly, my meds when it gets out of control.
Making plans for an early exit if its something I know is going to be a really big challenge.
A road trip when possible.
Getting grateful for what control and good things I have in life.
Try to look at it as an exercise or a challenge.
Laying out in the yard looking at the stars using Mia (my dog as a pillow)
A walk in the woods
A quick work out
Knowing that others cant make me happy, and thats my job to get me to that state of mind.
And just allowing the discomfort to be what it is... and if it's too much then I need to go off and be me.

Gosh 10 months in the mountains would be like giving me a million bucks... : )
 
When I was young and not civilized, I relied on bourbon. However, I've since become sophisticated and respectable. :D

Seriously, what I do is to get my mind in that place before I have to be there or do something. For instance, I prep myself ahead of time by scripting and visualize what may take place for any social activity. I also make it a point to set a time limit on such things so I don't over-task myself. That's why I've had problems with church on occasion, because every so often a preacher will get on a roll and run past my Aspie time limit. It's not as bad now, as I've matured and have disciplined myself to overcome, but it takes work.
I do the scripting for work definitely, but there's so much else out of my control when I leave my house, it gets very overwhelming. I want to get out and do more, but I think I'm psyching myself out or something..
 
Stuff that sometimes helps me, or not...
Mind trips when I cant get away in real life.
Music that fills the hole inside me.
Sadly, my meds when it gets out of control.
Making plans for an early exit if its something I know is going to be a really big challenge.
A road trip when possible.
Getting grateful for what control and good things I have in life.
Try to look at it as an exercise or a challenge.
Laying out in the yard looking at the stars using Mia (my dog as a pillow)
A walk in the woods
A quick work out
Knowing that others cant make me happy, and thats my job to get me to that state of mind.
And just allowing the discomfort to be what it is... and if it's too much then I need to go off and be me.

Gosh 10 months in the mountains would be like giving me a million bucks... : )
Good points all of them, but I especially appreciated the realizing that you and nobody else is in control of your own happiness.
My time in nature was a great gift to me as well as a kind of curse, because I know I can never go back to that life again.
 
Yeah, I know what you mean. I would psych myself out by thinking about the negative ramifications (challenges of being on the spectrum) in relationship to whatever it is I wanted to do, was expected to do, or invited to do. I still have problems from time to time, especially when I have to do my bimonthly Walmart expedition; just read some of my posts about those. Every so often I start to unhinge and have to leave without making it to the checkout. It takes time, discipline, and personal patience. That's the biggest thing: have patience with yourself.

I don't do the Walmart thing much at all but I do the Sam's thing... For some reason (I haven't pin pointed yet)... I can so easily have some really bad anxiety problems in there.

Maybe its the amount of stuff I have to get and loading and unloading it, the check out process, the warden at the exit who checks every item on the receipt, the feeling like they feel, everyone in there is a thief and not a customer (my take on it, nothing more)...

I think it might also be a frequency from the radios??? I get disoriented more in there then anywhere else I go... Not sure, so I have just started going in there ear buds in music on. I don't care what people think. I'm not there to talk the the guy trying to fix the chips in my windshield, or sell me on a certain brand of satellite TV service... I dislike all that forced interaction and they are like trolls waiting on me.

I had it in another recent post. I went in there on a Sunday thinking it might be a great time to go and when I drove up I already knew I was in trouble. It looked like Christmas time, but I had already driven 2 hours to get there and suffered through a birthday gathering, so I was determined. When I got out I was wiped out. I just sat in the Jeep wondering why did I do that?

Some places like large stores, movie theaters, restaurants, etc.are like a visit to the great room of hell for me. Ten months on a mountain and I would probably just vanish, to only become a missing person who was alive more than he ever was doing this stuff we call LIFE... : )
 
"Heavy work" -- physical activity that provides a lot of proprioceptive input. I find swimming is good for this because of the whole-body extra resistance that happens when moving around in water. (Just lying underneath a heavy mattress helps a lot too, but it doesn't work off any of the intense build-up of energy that a lot of anxiety creates.)

When I go out, I do best carrying a heavy backpack.
 
"Heavy work" -- physical activity that provides a lot of proprioceptive input. I find swimming is good for this because of the whole-body extra resistance that happens when moving around in water. (Just lying underneath a heavy mattress helps a lot too, but it doesn't work off any of the intense build-up of energy that a lot of anxiety creates.)When I go out, I do best carrying a heavy backpack/QUOTE]

I feel naked without my backpack! I went into town for a dinner party for work once without it, and couldn't figure out why I was so anxious lol.. The place we went was crowded and noisy, I think the backpack would have helped when looking back at it..
 
Alcohol. but i don't drink anymore.
Hypnosis can help some too
I can't really do alcohol either anymore. It makes me sick, and also I noticed that while I drink, and especially the day after I feel more anxious the older I get. I'll have to check into hypnosis. :)
 
I can't really do alcohol either anymore. It makes me sick, and also I noticed that while I drink, and especially the day after I feel more anxious the older I get. I'll have to check into hypnosis. :)

Would recommend
Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step
By Dr. Thomas A Richards
In audio session 4a and 4b i think it was he goes through a guided meditation / guided hypnosis session
 
Sertraline
Mindfulness (helped me so much, and I made some pretty awesome friends as classes)
Biodanza
Therapy
Intense exercise
Recommended read: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k by Mark Manson
 
Antidepressants (Sertraline)
Time off work
Walks in the forest
Exercise
Herbal tea
Ginger tea
Being active, keeping busy - having a project to do, something creative.
Giving myself a treat at the end of the week, something to look forward to.
A long hot bath or a shower
Music.
 
Sometimes i have it so severe I get an anxiety attack in the middle of a street which feels like a heart attack or in most times its just a background thing, like butterflies in the stomach feeling I assume everyone gets before they go to work or a meeting.

Coping mechanisms for myself might include:
Alcohol (something strong like vodka or whiskey, usually can't afford though)
Sugar overload
Sleep
Self-harm via overdosing medication or not taking enough

I sometimes have to induce depression to get rid of anxiety as they seem to me like polar opposites, each just as negative on my health and outlook. And can rarely think as it feels like it alters my mind, or probably killing brain cells who knows.
 
If I'm at work, I tend to lock myself either in my office or the bathroom until either a Xanax (or three) kicks in or I calm down, but usually work only gets me in a tizzy if we have visitors that I have to deal with or if I'm being questioned about something that I don't feel I should be questioned on. I've worked here long enough that I tend to blow anyway, so I don't hold much in, but there are occasions when I try. I will also play the same song over and over and over again (Duran Duran's Serious), sometimes for days or weeks at a time, which tends to annoy co-workers, but keeps me calm, so they tolerate it.

Outside of that, I tend not to go too many places unless I just have to, but I'm pretty anti-social, so that's not an issue. People sometimes ask me, "hey, you wanna go..." and I just usually go "nope" and that's that. I think it's just an NT thing to be polite and invite people places who are near a conversation. I figured if they really wanted me to go, they probably would say something after my "nope", but they never do. I'm not insulted because I really don't want to go and I don't care if they don't want me to go either.

Store-wise, it usually takes me a week or two to get up the courage to go. I just kind of have to shut down my hard drive, so to speak in my head. I go to the same store, have a list, know where everything is (but boy do I get mad when they move things), and am usually out the door within 30 minutes or less. But I do prefer an actual person checking me out versus the machines because the machines invariably goober up and then I have to call over help and I start to panic (long story involving a basket overflowing with groceries, being forced to use the self checkout, and ending up crying for days afterwards and never going to that particular store again...you try handling that much grocery stuff on that tiny self-checkout counter with a line of people building behind you...it left me scarred for life). But grocery trips are entirely dependent on my Coke Zero quantity and my pup's snacks. If either one of those are out, I have to go to the store. If not, I can put it off longer (and I usually do). If I'm out of food, I can always stop at Sonic every night.

If I can make it home to de-stress, I cross stitch...for hours and hours and usually most of the weekend. If I go long periods of time without cross stitching, I tend to get hyper wound up and I will eventually blow over something silly, so I try to stitch at least once a week even when my stitching mojo has died down (it ebbs and flows). I'm in one of those ebbs right now and my co-workers have started to notice because I'm a bit snappy at the moment.

Sometimes I'll drive down to the coast (which is a 14 hour round trip), but then I have to worry about gas and bathroom stops (although I do go enough that I stop at the same places). Sometimes my eyes turn yellow and my gas gauge is screaming before I stop, but once I'm on the beach, I'm happy...I should also add that I HATE walking in sand unless it's at the water line, so there is stress there too until I make it to the water but the ocean is always worth it. I will often keep driving across the coast and end up making a 14 hr trip into a 27 hr trip, but I never stop to sleep...I go, I wander, I see, then I go home no matter how long it takes. My record is 32 hrs straight. I take sodas and snacks so I don't have to stop at strange places for food (just because every McDonald's may be the same, it's not the one I go to, so I can't go to just any other one, therefore they are not all the same). But as long as I'm in the car or near the water, I'm fine. There are things I drive past that I wish I had the courage to stop and visit, but I know I can't. I make mental notes of those for when other people go with me (which is rare).

I tend to find that when I'm over stressed, or ramped up because of anxiety, I can't sleep and it's very hard for me to even leave the house. I don't want anyone around me at all. I think it's why I like to do mindless things like stitch or drive so I'm not dwelling on stupid stuff.
 
The mechanical side of things works-ish for me.

Understanding how it happens, what’s involved, the process, it’s effects.

This means I may not have pinpointed why I am afraid, just trying to reduce the impact of fear (by interrupting the process)

It would appear that I’m afraid of being afraid, or at least it’s physical effects.

Bonkers !
 
Before a lot of public interaction I “build my bunker” mentally. It is a cylinder of marble with one of those thick viewing windows. I like using different colors for everything so it’s pretty. This is just a construct that lets me operate through this, with distance.

Practice with it helps :)

I take therapeutic levels of niacin.

I try to go out with someone else so they are a buffer.

I am alert to overload; I get visual distortions and beeline home.
 
I feel naked without my backpack! I went into town for a dinner party for work once without it, and couldn't figure out why I was so anxious lol.. The place we went was crowded and noisy, I think the backpack would have helped when looking back at it.

I relate.

A trick for if you can't have your backpack is to put heavy things in your pockets, wear heavy clothes, or wear heavy stuff around your wrists. I have considered sewing hidden pockets into the insides of certain clothes just to put weights in.
 

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