Big Socialization Event

[RemyZee]

Today I have to go to an event where there are lots of people and be pleasant and socialize. I Hate hate hate these things and was wondering if anyone has suggestions to keep myself from hurling. I get totally dizzy around people especially when closed in, and will no doubt say something dumb or run into a door.

 

[tree]

What is the theme of the event?
Family gathering?
Work related?
?

 

[AuroraBorealis]

My general advice, no matter the kind of event, is to make sure you have some sort of safe space - some sort of closed-off space you can retreat to when things get too much. If there's nothing else, then a bathroom with a locked door is always an option. Make sure to find this place as soon as possible after arriving, so you know where it is.

Then, come prepared with things that might help you in a small bag. Headphones, earplugs, fidget toy, book, food, drink, phone, anything that might make things easier for you. You'll at least be able to use them in your safe space, if nowhere else.

Plan regular breaks where you retreat for a short while. Bathroom breaks are generally accepted, but also (fake) smoking breaks, or "I just need some air for a second". For a longer break, it can be good to plan a scenario beforehand ("I have to make an important phone call around xy o'clock, so I will be gone for about 15 minutes then").
Related: A fellow ND friend and I have the habit of letting each other know when we have social duties but our batteries are low, so in an emergency, one can send the other a very short text, and the other one calls with a fake emergency that gives you an excuse to step away for a bit.
During those breaks, you can do whatever helps you to recover a bit. Listen to music, put on noise-cancellation, do some short meditation, have a cry, whatever helps.

I get totally dizzy around people especially when closed in, and will no doubt say something dumb or run into a door.

Make sure you drink enough water and eat enough. That way, at least physical reasons to get dizzy will be lower.

Also, have an emergency exit plan ready to use if you really need to leave.

 

[Peter Morrison]

I hate big gatherings also, especially when I know there will be people there who know one another and will retreat into their clique. Since I don't like small-talk, I can be happy by myself and just let the group do what groups do. In many instances, people will acknowledge you, but you are under no obligation to be the center of attention or produce a response that hasn't been spoken before. In essence, you don't have to "perform". Erase negative thoughts about groups from your head and just take in the event on your own terms. Leave when you feel like it or stay until the end if you think that is best. This method has worked for me. I am heavily influenced by varying levels of anxiety and it robs me of the enjoyment of the event. Just don't be self-conscious and don't play with your phone. You could make a game out of this event - watch who hangs with whom and analyze why. It's like contemporary anthropology 101. It could help you keep negative anxiety thoughts out of your head. Good luck, and have some fun. There is no test at the end.

 

[RemyZee]

What is the theme of the event?
Family gathering?
Work related?
?

It was voting. I am sooooo glad to be home!

 

[RemyZee]

I hate big gatherings also, especially when I know there will be people there who know one another and will retreat into their clique. Since I don't like small-talk, I can be happy by myself and just let the group do what groups do. In many instances, people will acknowledge you, but you are under no obligation to be the center of attention or produce a response that hasn't been spoken before. In essence, you don't have to "perform". Erase negative thoughts about groups from your head and just take in the event on your own terms. Leave when you feel like it or stay until the end if you think that is best. This method has worked for me. I am heavily influenced by varying levels of anxiety and it robs me of the enjoyment of the event. Just don't be self-conscious and don't play with your phone. You could make a game out of this event - watch who hangs with whom and analyze why. It's like contemporary anthropology 101. It could help you keep negative anxiety thoughts out of your head. Good luck, and have some fun. There is no test at the end.

Thanks. Anthropology 101. I might use that the next time.

 

[tree]

It was voting. I am sooooo glad to be home!

Voting.

I vote, but don't think of it as a social event.

I didn't enjoy using the booth and now vote by mail.

 

[Aspychata]

Back-up plan, know where exits are, know where bathrooms are. Have cash or such to jump uuberif needed. Wear earplugs to buffer sounds. Exercise the day before.

 

[RemyZee]

Voting.

I vote, but don't think of it as a social event.

I didn't enjoy using the booth and now vote by mail.

It was a voter education rally and I organized it for work, with speakers workshops, demos etc. High impact. It went ok and I found a spot to be by myself. There were more people than I planned but that was a good surprise. I dropped my computer and now it's not working properly. But all in all it went well.

 

[tree]

So it wasn't actually voting, it was an educational event about voting.


You organized it.

Sounds like organizing/planning it was easier on you than attending/seeing it in action.

 

[RemyZee]

So it wasn't actually voting, it was an educational event about voting.


You organized it.

Sounds like organizing/planning it was easier on you than attending/seeing it in action.

Yes!