Biggest issue

[ucrenegade]

My biggest issue or at least in the top 5 is when I say stuff in a serious way or to help educate people and they think I am being funny or joking. That is one of my biggest gripes because I have Autism I am never taken serious.

 

[tree]

Can you give an example of this happening?

 

[ucrenegade]

Just some of my posts or replies that have been marked funny. In the NT world it is usually done by them who all of a sudden when it's my turn to talk in a conversation they disengage and go do something else or find another conversation to join. It's a weird feeling to be talking then have people be leaving the conversation until your standing there by yourself which is why I hate going out.

 

[ucrenegade]

Even when I was attending church this would happen.

 

[tree]

What examples do you have of people laughing or thinking you're
joking that are not forum based?

The use of the emojies to rate posts is not necessarily a clear cut
indication of people's reactions. Sometimes people put "Funny"
not because what you've said is truly laughable, but because they
find the situation very unexpected.

Do you have a specific example of someone at church acting as if they
believed you were joking when you were serious?

 

[Judge]

I see the "funny" emoticons used for a number of reasons. Many that may not be abundantly clear, particularly for their fellow Aspies.

Just something I accept for better or worse as our group can be quite eclectic on any number of levels.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Sometimes the "funny" emoticons are because you made the person smile. And when NTs laugh, it's often because they're happy or delighted to be talking with you, a friend of theirs.

I know it's hard, but try to just let things roll off your back.

 

[ucrenegade]

Yeah I am often to serious especially when I can't decipher the social cues in person or internet.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Good points above.

Written communication is difficult because social cues are quite limited. For years,...even now,...I have to be very careful with any e-mail I post to staff at work. Some will read it as fact or statement, some will read it with "tone", as if I am "yelling" at them specifically,...then they complain or feel the need to get into some sort of e-mail argument. You also get the people who read a single line, take it out of context, and get upset or misinterpret. I am much more brief now with the e-mails and texts now. I like to itemize things, 1., 2., and so on.

Face-to-face communication is best for me, overall. Even if I don't get all the social cues, at least they are more likely to put what I said into a better context and proper tone. However, like you, I can get very frustrated with group conversations, as I cannot jump in and out with proper timing, I miss my opportunities, the conversation moves on, gets redirected, and I am left there hanging,...or worse, I get to monologuing and everyone quietly exits and leaves me alone with more to say and no one to listen.

Phone communication is the worst for me. Often we can both interpret the tone of the conversation, however, it seems I have this built in delay in processing and responses that leaves us talking over each other. It is often an awkward interaction, even with people I know and like.

I have found the emojis useful. I am becoming more comfortable with them. When I text and e-mail at work, I will often use the "smile face" emoji to let the reader know it was with "friendly tone". I think when I use "direct language" some people interpret that a "rude" or "angry" tone when it isn't. I know that emojis generally are not viewed as "professional", but it can be helpful in situations.

I have also run into this phenomenon where, people,...mostly females, will want to "read into" something I said or wrote. These folks really have a difficult time even believing that direct communication exists, so they have to interpret what was said when it was direct and needs no interpretation. I get this frequently from my female friends, "What does it mean when he (the male in their life) or I said,..." as if what was said actually meant something else. I just have to laugh now,..."You do realize you are talking to the autistic kid,...right?"

This forum,...I generally do not have a reaction to how people respond with "like" or "agree", whatever. One, I have a difficult time reciprocating communication and two, I have enough experience to know that if 100 people read my post, I could have a 100 different interpretations of it,...human beings with different brains, intelligences, life experiences, educations,...a ton of variables. I like the use of emojis. For example, when I say something jokingly,...I can use the emoji to indicate that.

 

[ucrenegade]

Good points above.

Written communication is difficult because social cues are quite limited. For years,...even now,...I have to be very careful with any e-mail I post to staff at work. Some will read it as fact or statement, some will read it with "tone", as if I am "yelling" at them specifically,...then they complain or feel the need to get into some sort of e-mail argument. You also get the people who read a single line, take it out of context, and get upset or misinterpret. I am much more brief now with the e-mails and texts now. I like to itemize things, 1., 2., and so on.

Face-to-face communication is best for me, overall. Even if I don't get all the social cues, at least they are more likely to put what I said into a better context and proper tone. However, like you, I can get very frustrated with group conversations, as I cannot jump in and out with proper timing, I miss my opportunities, the conversation moves on, gets redirected, and I am left there hanging,...or worse, I get to monologuing and everyone quietly exits and leaves me alone with more to say and no one to listen.

Phone communication is the worst for me. Often we can both interpret the tone of the conversation, however, it seems I have this built in delay in processing and responses that leaves us talking over each other. It is often an awkward interaction, even with people I know and like.

I have found the emojis useful. I am becoming more comfortable with them. When I text and e-mail at work, I will often use the "smile face" emoji to let the reader know it was with "friendly tone". I think when I use "direct language" some people interpret that a "rude" or "angry" tone when it isn't. I know that emojis generally are not viewed as "professional", but it can be helpful in situations.

I have also run into this phenomenon where, people,...mostly females, will want to "read into" something I said or wrote. These folks really have a difficult time even believing that direct communication exists, so they have to interpret what was said when it was direct and needs no interpretation. I get this frequently from my female friends, "What does it mean when he (the male in their life) or I said,..." as if what was said actually meant something else. I just have to laugh now,..."You do realize you are talking to the autistic kid,...right?"

This forum,...I generally do not have a reaction to how people respond with "like" or "agree", whatever. One, I have a difficult time reciprocating communication and two, I have enough experience to know that if 100 people read my post, I could have a 100 different interpretations of it,...human beings with different brains, intelligences, life experiences, educations,...a ton of variables. I like the use of emojis. For example, when I say something jokingly,...I can use the emoji to indicate that.

Me exactly add in I am tone deaf and my conversation when I speak prob sounds pretty boring and straight to the point not alot of color in things I do or say. Usually just black and white like the movie Pleasentville except I have no color opening up for me.