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Bipolar Type I and possibly autism spectrum.

W

workinprogress

New Member
Dear all,

I have Bipolar disorder Type I. Diagnosed and on various meds for years.

The pdoc suspects that I have autism spectrum issues as well, and this is why I write here.

I do research in mathematics, so I am high functioning in that context, but I have always struggled with social interaction. Friends and family has always considered me to be on the autism spectrum and joked about it, and all the screening tests I did recently indicate this, so I reluctantly conclude that this is likely.

Regardless of a formal diagnosis, it has been painful through life to be the way I am, but I feel that as a 40+ yo man I now have a bag of rules that I follow, so I have brushed off the pdocs requests to dig deeper with "What would be the point? What can you say that I have not already learned the hard way?".

However, after the most recent visit at the ward due to severe depression, we may have gained a better understanding of one of my recurring non-standard symptoms to be a bipolar patient (something that seems rooted in autistic issues), so I am re-considering my position.

Her idea is that the bipolar depression robs me of the energy needed for my usual strategies to deal with the external world and so turns me into a depressed bipolar patient with emphasized autistic traits.

This is important to me, because if this is correct, then one may hypothesize that with better awareness of autistic issues and strategies to deal with them that are less demanding for me, I might be able to reduce the risk of bipolar episodes. This would be nice because each episode costs me at least a couple of months of my life.

Any feedback from people with relevant experiences is welcome.

I apologize if I use terms about autism incorrectly. Please correct me if needed.
 
welcome.png
 
I always suggest genetic karyotyping to avoid all the labels and confusion. It is now standard procedure in suspected autism (at least in USA).

I like knowing what is causing it rather than having a Dr give me a label that may change from DSM change to DSM change and from Dr to Dr.
 
Hi & Welcome,
Wisdom begins with realizing how much one doesn't know. Wisdom is not the same thing as knowledge. Yes, there is much a 40+ old person can still learn. People unfortunately tend to stop learning the older they get. You have to buck the trend if you want to keep growing.
 
Thank you for the welcome!

I know bipolar disorder well, but I have little understanding on these autistic traits.

I suspect that some of you can relate to the problem of understanding social interaction at a biological/mathematical level, but being unable to take part in it. Let us see what you say.

The rules that I have developed are partly due to my lovely wife who has broadened my skill set. She also has bipolar disorder, but is at the other end of the spectrum when it comes to social skills. A true master, perhaps this is why we work together.

Things like keeping quiet when people are wrong, accepting that they perform actions in wrong ways, greeting everybody, reluctantly accepting that "strangers" (to me) wish to hug or touch me, stating directly that I will not recognize people even when I have met them many times before, being stressed by changes (even things like sitting in the right chair or organizing the food on my plate such that the parts do not touch and have the right proportions). A serious problem is that I often have no clue what people feel, and apparently I do not show what I feel very well either. This has led to unfortunately conflicts.

I tend to "analyze" what the right response is (drains me of energy) or mimick what people do. When this fails, today, I simply state bluntly that "I have no idea if you are angry or sad or joking, you must state this explicitly". Most grownups take this well, which was not the case in my youth.

In particular when I am depressed this degrades, but also when I am (hypo)manic.

Is there a list of strategies somewhere that I can read about and learn? More concrete "rules" to interact with people.
 
Yes, a lot of energy goes into wearing the 'mask'. Private recharge time, to return to natural plutonite liquid helium state is essential for sanity. ;)
 
So, where is the list of "rules" (the "mask") that I can learn to blend in more effortlessly? :-)

Even better, is there anybody out there that is like me who has mastered this unfortunate combination?
 
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