Boarding school

[Annaa]

I have checked the other posts under this thread and I’m not sure if this is okay to post here but I did not know where else.

I have been considering applying to a boarding school, I don’t think it’s a bad idea because I have just been really struggling with my studies and keeping friendships and I have also been fighting with my parents because of my meltdowns and I kind of want a new start somewhere else where nobody knows me and where I can focus on my studies instead of pleasing other people.

My mother was the one who jokingly suggested it when I told her about my comic which takes place in a boarding school, so I have watched a lot of boarding school content and since I am very good at sports I have been thinking about looking for one with a focus on sport.

Now I don’t know how to communicate this to my mother, I am scared that she might be upset, but since she wants to marry and settle down anyways it wouldn’t really matter I don’t think she would refuse but I still don’t want to hurt her feelings.
I am also not sure if I really want to I think I need to do more research about it before really considering it, I would really appreciate your opinions or Tipps on how to talk to my mother about this.

( I live in Germany and they have lots of programs for kids with learning deficits in the Boarding schools which is also a reason I want to go)

 

[Gerontius]

I have no experience with the life in a boarding school but I can say that I have benefitted from a structure and the presence of order. Perhaps you will be able to get into that if you go.

If your mother suggested it jokingly, really I don't think you have to fear anything if you bring it up. Find a time to open the conversation and go from there.

 

[Crossbreed]

I am skeptical that such would accommodate ASD very well...

 

[Annaa]

I am skeptical that such would accommodate ASD very well...

Sorry if it sounded rude I meant adhd with that, sorry I forgot to mention that.

 

[Forest Cat]

I left home when I was 16 and went to a school I think would be called a "boarding school" in English. I didn't live on campus but I had an apartment right next to the school. And it was actually a school that focused on sports. My advice would be to make sure you focus on the school work. Living by myself in a new place away from home was very unusual for me and I got distracted too easily.

I think your plan is a good plan, as long as you don't get distracted and you focus everything on the school work. It's a big change at first, the first weeks was a little tough for me. But we get used to changes, people get used to things. So it could be difficult at a new school at first but you will get used to it.

I think you should just tell your mom that you have thought about school and the future and tell her what you want to do. She probably doesn't want you to leave, moms don't want their kids to leave. But I'm sure she wants the best for you. And she should be a little impressed with you for thinking about school and what you want to do. Viel glück.

 

[Crossbreed]

Sorry if it sounded rude I meant adhd with that, sorry I forgot to mention that.

I did not think that you were being rude.
ADHD is related to ASD. Accommodation will probably still be difficult to find.

 

[Shaddock]

Es gibt die Möglichkeit als Autist in Deutschland Eingliederungshilfe (beim Sozialamt) zu beantragen (das ist eine staatliche Leistung/Sozialhilfe) und damit dir den Besuch einer Schule und eines Internats (falls das privat ist und du das selbst zahlen musst) zu bezahlen. Sollte frühstmöglich beantragt werden, man muss auch einige Unterlagen einreichen und braucht eine Autismus-Diagnose, am besten ist es wenn man einen Schwerbehindertenausweis hat. Den würde ich dir sowieso empfehlen zu beantragen, geht aber erst wenn du eine Diagnose hast.

Ich weiß nicht genau wie viele aber es gibt Privatschulen, die auch insbesondere für Autisten geeignet sind und wo man auch die unterschiedlichsten Schulabschlüsse machen kann. In welchem Bundesland lebst du denn?

Ich habe jetzt nicht genau verstanden ob du (auch) Autismus hast, oder eine Lernbehinderung. Aber mit einer Lernbehinderung kann man soweit ich weiß solche Schulen auch besuchen und auch finanzielle Unterstützung bekommen.

Und da ich zu faul bin das von Hand zu übersetzen, aber man hier ja in englisch schreiben muss, tue ich das mal in den Übersetzer : D

auto-translated:

there is the possibility to apply as an autist in germany integration aid (at the social office) (this is a state service/social assistance) and to pay you the visit of a school and an internate (if that is private and you have to pay it yourself). should be requested as soon as possible, you must also submit some documents and need an autism diagnosis, best if you have a hard-disabled card. I would recommend asking you anyway, but only if you have a diagnosis.

I do not know exactly how many but there are private schools, which are also particularly suitable for autists and where you can also make the most different school degrees. in which country do you live?

I have not understood exactly whether you have (also) autism, or a learning disability. but with a learning disability you can visit as far as I know such schools and also get financial support.

and since I am too lazy to translate this by hand, but you have to write here in English, I do this in the translator : d

 

[Sunny1]

Hi, Annaa.
I went to a boarding school for high school. I spent the first two years commuting and then for the last two years I was a boarding student.
I found it intellectually stimulating and emotionally satisfying.
I was able to do a couple of extra scientific type excursions in my free time. I would do it again.
Good luck on your decision.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I would really appreciate your opinions or Tipps on how to talk to my mother about this.

You need a friend to do this. You phone call a friend when your mom is arround. You pretend to need some privacy and go to your room or something like that. But you dont close totally your door so your mum can SPY. Then you talk with your friend about the new school thing, and about how concern you are about your mom, because you love her so much, and she have done some much for you, and that you have fear that she could get angry at you and you ask your friend for their point of view about how to tell your mum.

Your mum should be SPYING you as any good NT parent who sees that their child needs privacy and is nervous about something. So she will notice without you having to say nothing, will think about that and she will bring out the topic in the NT casual way some other day.

 

[Crossbreed]

You need a friend to do this...

That sounds like reverse reverse psychology...

 

[Bolletje]

I would have liked going to boarding school. I had very little self discipline as a teen and could have used some discipline. I spent two weeks in a summer school in England and I really enjoyed the structured approach and environment. I did struggle with making friends though, but that was mostly because people stuck together in groups from their own country and I happened to be the only Dutch person.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

@ragamuffin could you help her?

 

[Aspychata]

If you want to try this out, then approach your mother. My mom complained about boarding school, but she complained about the nuns. Her mother had to put her in boarding school because she worked and couldn't afford to have childcare help. She was a struggling mom who was divorced from a man who didn't help out with child support. It seems like you are ready to do this new experience.