Brain Issues Not Talked About

[Aet1985]

I was wondering this really hit me today, is it a Aspergers trait to feel ''out of it'' or ''someplace else''? I ask because at times if my father and I argue, he will say I am on another planet or not same place as the other guys, also years ago the doctor said oh he's lost on another planet. I sort of agree because I don't feel connected to what others are doing, sort of focused on my dog and my ''schedule'' or what I am doing. I don't know if we do have a disconnect or sort of ''brain malfunction''. I know what's going on but often not important to me, but I am hard on myself because I never yet reached the ways other guys in my family did. I never reached or ''couldn't take on a lot'' such as how they are cops, lawyers, doctors, fireman and so on, they seemed to reach it much easier or didn't get aggressive or emotionally unstable socially. I never really fit in growing up, my senior year was a blur.

 

[AspieChris]

I think you might be trying too hard to put a ‘title’ on a combination of aspects of Asperger’s. Focusing on a schedule keeps us sane. Animals make more sense to us than people. Etc. It’s a collection of bits and pieces of the Aspie brain that make us who we are.

If someone starts telling me about something I have no care to hear, I have two choices: pretend to care or tune them out. Everyone has the same two choices. But when an Aspie tunes out an idiot who is yammering on about something stupid….. we are labeled as ‘disconnected’.

Imaging if a black man were told he needed skin treatments to help him fit in with ‘normal’, light-skinned society. You’re not disconnected, just not the same as the majority.

 

[Rodafina]

@Aet1985
What you describe sounds pretty familiar to me - I've always identified that as my lack of connection to others. Growing up, I always had the feeling of being alone even when I was with other people. I felt more like an observer than a participant in my own life when other people were around. When I was alone, I felt connected to whatever experience I was having, but the presence of others disrupted this for the most part.

What you describe could also be some sort of dissociation, which is a mostly maladaptive coping skill to stressful situations. I have experienced something called depersonalization/derealization which is described as the following:

feeling a sense of unreality, detachment, or being an outside observer of one’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, or actions—and/or derealization—a sense of unreality or detachment regarding one’s surroundings, such as individuals or objects seeming unreal, foggy, or visually distorted. These experiences lead to distress and impairment in the person’s life.

Source:Dissociation

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Actually, these are exactly the types of "brain issues" we do talk about here. So welcome.

Asperger's condition, is a variant of autism. Not "autism classic" per se, but still, there are a lot of similar things going on with regards to how the brain developed and some of the "core" behaviors that are present in order to receive such a diagnosis by a doctor.

That said, because of our different brain development, typically at the micro anatomy level, as well as some of the neurochemistry, our sensory experience will be slightly different from say, the neurotypical. We might not be able to socialize and communicate on those intimate, detailed, nuanced levels like neurotypicals. Our perspective on our environment may be different than the person standing next to us due to our sensory experience. It is very much a common thing to feel as if you are an alien observer from another planet, studying humans like Jane Goodall studied chimpanzees, trying to figure out all the nuanced behaviors and communication. It can be an anxiety-inducing experience when you can't figure out another person's intent or why they are reacting the ways that they do. It seems like chaos to you when you can't figure out "the code" and don't know how to react appropriately.

So, yes, it is not uncommon to feel a bit "out of it", in a sense. The "glass wall" between yourself and others is a real perspective. Present, but not quite present. On the periphery. Many ways to describe it.