Breaking Up. Help?

[AvaDactyl1128]

Firstly: I'm a high functioning Female Aspie. Hi.

Okay, so I have been interested in this guy for years now, however I remained reluctant to have any sort of commitment to him (even though he was more than willing).
He is nothing but supportive and nice to me (apart from a few situations in the past where I have dated others and he became... a little less than bearable?); completely devoted (which I don't quite understand the basis of). Either way him and I finally started a relationship this February... and things moved quite fast. Staying over and the like...

Him and I both suffer with anxiety and over the past month he had a bit of a wobble. Resulting in quite a traumatic few weeks for me and a feeling of being trapped and pressured.
All in all I found it really quite hard to cope with, and suddenly my feelings became less "I want to be here all the time" and more " we should really break up."
I can't quite understand how my emotions switched so quickly, he's extremely pushy about the "working our way back up to a relationship" but I don't feel quite right about this. In fact I would be much happier being friends. That's complicated in itself because I still have that feeling that he is the only one I can bare to deal with (sometimes... he can be annoying too). BUT I don't want to be in a relationship with him.
Saying this: we have fallen back into old habits. This is pretty crap because I can be so loving and caring, but other times I find it really awkward and have an irrational desire to avoid. All things.

I've got to be honest I'm asking because I'm confused and he wanted me to answer things that I don't know how to answer.
He's sitting with me now and complaining about what I'm typing: his point of view is that I should say more positive things. So yes; we were in love. I did love him, and I do.

But this sudden change has confused us both and I would like some feedback as to why I had this sudden change and maybe how to work on it? What should I do?

Thank you.

 

[Ereth]

In fact I would be much happier being friends. That's complicated in itself because I still have that feeling that he is the only one I can bare to deal with (sometimes... he can be annoying too). BUT I don't want to be in a relationship with him..

I think you answered your own question. But if you still want your boyfriend around, I think it's time you two sit down and have a talk about boundaries and what it is you actually want out of the relationship. If he's being pushy to the point where it makes you uncomfortable, that ought to be one of your main topics of discussion.

 

[Christy]

Hi Ava,

I think from your other post you're 17 years old? That is very young to be talking about commitment of this kind. The point of dating is to get to know each other better so you can decide if you want a long term relationship. If you have experienced a side of him you don't like, then it is good you have found out this early.

Don't bind yourself to a relationship because the other is committed. You need to decide if this is what you want, or not.

The are a lot of confusing things about being a female aspie. Yes, I have found my emotions change like this in the past, I don't know why. Truth is, as much as I'd like to think I can hold on to relationships, the evidence in my life is that I can't. Other than family, I don't have any relationships older than 2 or 3 years. There is always a reason for me to leave people behind.

A lady called Tania Marshall has a blog about female aspies and she wrote about bridge burning being a common trait of female aspies. Maybe if you check out some of her stuff it might help you a bit.

Aspienwomen: Adult Women with Asperger Syndrome. Moving towards a female profile of Asperger Syndrome | taniaannmarshall

 

[AvaDactyl1128]

thank you very much

 

[Ste11aeres]

Hi Ava,

I think from your other post you're 17 years old? That is very young to be talking about commitment of this kind.

This. Yes.
I'm sympathetic to him. I've experienced the pain of someone I like not wanting a romantic relationship with me. But he has no right to force you into a relationship that you don't want. He should respect you, and not do this. I'm bothered by the fact that he is with you as you write, telling you what to say.