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Burned by enough disney friends........

Aspychata

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
At some point you cross over from being burned from so-call-friends, and you chose to skip the friends route. Are you in this category? Because everyone can sell out, and target you. Because their life involves choices that may mean targeting you. We have gone third world to some extent. Nobody wants to talk about the other side of friends when you are targeted because of your money or your job. I am always in the underworld of life.
 
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Disney, the people that came across so perfect, so caring, so righteous. @WhitewaterWoman People work in cliques to target you, and many of us on the spectrum don't get this. We can't understand that groups will target us for our home, our bank account, our assets.
 
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Aspychata said:
Disney, the people that came across so perfect, so caring, so righteous. [USE People work in cliques to target you, and many of us on the spectrum don't get this. We can't understand that groups will target us for our home, our bank account, our assets.
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I never thought I had enough of any value to be worth conning. I didn’t understand it at all. I really believed that if I treated people with care and respect that it would be reciprocal.

And to be fair, that has been the case in many situations. It is why I was so good at my work.

But in the social arena, I’m afraid I still have a lot to learn.

In another thread - can’t remember which - today, someone wrote about how we autistics are so vulnerable to the con.
 
Yeah, "the con" is simple - fallen to it many times myself.

Low theory of mind, means we interpret help as a personal attack, which disadvantages people who want to help us.
Low theory of mind, also means we interpret flattery as genuine, which advantages people who want to con us.

Double whammy.
 
I'm normally a very good communicator and I spot complicated scams from a mile away, and then the straight forward ones suck me in every time. I spent a lot of time wondering about that. I grew up in a rough place and I know just about every scam there is but I'll still get sucked in often enough.

I wondered if it's to do with the way in which I communicate. I rely very heavily on body language and facial expressions as a way of understanding what people are saying and I'm really very good at spotting falsehood because of that. Sociopaths can bypass that.
 
Aspychata said:
At some point you cross over from being burned from so-call-friends, and you chose to skip the friends route. Are you in this category? Because everyone can sell out, and target you. Because their life involves choices that may mean targeting you. We have gone third world to some extent. Nobody wants to talk about the other side of friends when you are targeted because of your money or your job. I am always in the underworld of life.
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Being burned by friends is one of the hallmarks of my life. I'm a recovering people-pleaser of sorts, having had so many friendships where I uphold my end of a friendship (I would think, anyway) only to be burned by the individual or group and discarded (or in some later cases, I discarded them because I came top realize I was on a one-way street). Some examples, offering friendship to a girl in middle-school new to the area from Canada, only for her to insult and laugh at me on a daily basis; walking with a pair of friends in the woods only for them to mock me for picking up things like feathers and leaves or looking up in the trees at the birds; discarded by college friends who found their success after graduation, but because I've been masking my whole life, I was struggling to find work. Etc etc.

Do you mean these sorts betrayals?
 
@AracariKunha , welcome to the forum.
Exactly like that. Friendship is being there for somebody, but as usual, it's a dog eat dog world, and everyone can't fathom what a real friendship is. I think our lives are just too transitory, and the concept of friendship doesn't exist. It's more about cliques of like people operating together targeting their employer, or gaslighting a new employee, or targeting neighbors. I just tried to truly help someone, and then they turned on me because they belong to their clique who supplies their habit.
 
Aspychata said:
@AracariKunha , welcome to the forum.
Exactly like that. Friendship is being there for somebody, but as usual, it's a dog eat dog world, and everyone can't fathom what a real friendship is. I think our lives are just too transitory, and the concept of friendship doesn't exist. It's more about cliques of like people operating together targeting their employer, or gaslighting a new employee, or targeting neighbors. I just tried to truly help someone, and then they turned on me because they belong to their clique who supplies their habit.
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I've been reading about autism for over twelve years after a friend (now partner in life, one of the only genuinely empathic people I've ever met) suggested I might be on the spectrum. Only more recently did I start to do other research to understand people in my life. Besides failed friendships and a hostile parent, I've had numerous encounters with bosses and supervisors who seem to treat me like crap even when I'm working really hard. I have come to realize that in cases like these, their behavior has more to do with them than with me. Yes, I suspect I'm a masked adult on the spectrum (self-diagnosed, nothing official yet) and don't fit in with social norms, but this doesn't excuse other people's hostile behavior. Cliques are very much part of social behavior, but why are cliques hostile towards people who have other interests or ways of engaging with the world? I've come to see it reveals their insecurity. Doesn't change the fact I've been hurt consistently for 30+ years... I'm working on myself, now, knowing they'll never change and out of my life anyway.
 
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