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Buying a House is Overwhelming :(

Zhantera

Zhantera

Active Member
So I'll first say I don't post often because I am a horrible responder. I will, however, do my best to respond to any advice.
I've got this situation happening and it's literally overwhelming me. I just need some logical and objective advice.

So my husband and I are finally getting around to wanting to buy our first house. The rental market is horrible where we live. Last year in this month, we lost everything we owned in a fire. We were homeless with my two service dogs for a month, just staying in motels. We finally found a tiny one bedroom apt we could afford. We've been here for a year, and everyone is very cramped and grouchy. So my husband applied for a house loan (I didn't really know he was actively doing it, tbh) and he got approved.
So here we are. I suppose getting your first house should be joyful and exciting, right? Wrong. Here's the hitch....the area I live in is really horrible as far as housing prices. We can't actually afford to live in the city- we didn't get a huge loan, just enough to buy a small home. There is a rural area though, that we have several options for houses. And it looks great, the houses are nice and come with acreage for my dogs. But....so it's rural. Like "thirty minutes drive to the closest store" rural. I would have to quit my job. My job is one of the only jobs I think I could do. I have been fortunate enough to have a set schedule, four hour shifts. I work totally by myself. It's an autistic dream. It doesn't pay much, I don't actually put anything towards our rent. My paycheck only provides enough for my service dogs' food and vet visits. And I just don't know if I could find anything I could even do in the new rural area.
Additionally, I do not, and will not, ever drive. I have bad ptsd surrounding six car accidents, one resulting in a tbi, and I am even a terrible passenger. So part of me is thinking...if something ever happens to my spouse, I'm going to be absolutely screwed out here where the closest store is a 20 minute drive away. If I lose my job, what would I do with a mortgage??
And my husband and I are just going around in circles trying to decide what to do.
It's our dream to get out of the rental race and own our own home. But the risk is just....so high. I loathe giving up the only job that works for me. I cannot do phone work, because I don't really speak that much. I can't do warehouse because I have no curve in my neck and a true leg length discrepancy that causes me pain. This current job I have is probably the one job that suits me. I want to go for it, I really do. But being so unsure makes me stuck. I'm literally stuck in my seat. I haven't been able to do anything much for two weeks now. I just feel frozen to my chair in anxiety. All I can do right now is eat. (I'm a stress/stim eater).
If any of you are a real estate whiz and could explain some of this to me, that would be awesome.
At the very least, thank you to any who have read my rant. It did help to just put it somewhere.
 
Living in Northern Nevada, I can only concur that yes, the risk at this moment IS very high. About the only advice I can offer is to be patient enough to wait for the nation's third fiscal quarter to see what the Federal Reserve does regarding interest rates. But frankly IMO the prognosis doesn't look very good in terms of even higher interest rates.

Meanwhile rents remain stifling at best.
 
I will try to keep this simple,...having experience with "major purchases".

One, if you are seeking a loan,...is the loan based upon his income, your income, or both? If the loan is based upon his income only, then less risk of default if you are in a position where you have to quit your job. Either way, think this through, and when you are reviewing your loan,...although it may translate into a slightly higher payment,...click that "loan insurance" box. If either of you have a catastrophic life event,...they won't take the house (medical issue, loss of job),...and may actually pay off the loan (death).

Two, is your vehicle,...or vehicles ready for a significantly longer job commute? What about the additional price of fuel?

Three, what are your realistic alternatives for obtaining local work,...or a job working from home? If from home, do they have high-speed internet in the area, or do you have to spend a lot more for a satellite connection?

Four, what are the potential costs of utility bills? What kind of inspection did it pass? You don't want to walk into a "money pit".

I know your post was more about how you were feeling,...but the reality is that with major purchases,...the bank doesn't care about them,...and neither does your check book. With homes, it's about all the "hidden" expenses,...repairs, commute times, the cost of gasoline/petrol, utilities, etc. Money up front is one concern,...money on the back end,...the associated costs and logistics of living in this new location is another.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
I will try to keep this simple,...having experience with "major purchases".

One, if you are seeking a loan,...is the loan based upon his income, your income, or both? If the loan is based upon his income only, then less risk of default if you are in a position where you have to quit your job. Either way, think this through, and when you are reviewing your loan,...although it may translate into a slightly higher payment,...click that "loan insurance" box. If either of you have a catastrophic life event,...they won't take the house (medical issue, loss of job),...and may actually pay off the loan (death).

Two, is your vehicle,...or vehicles ready for a significantly longer job commute? What about the additional price of fuel?

Three, what are your realistic alternatives for obtaining local work,...or a job working from home? If from home, do they have high-speed internet in the area, or do you have to spend a lot more for a satellite connection?

Four, what are the potential costs of utility bills? What kind of inspection did it pass? You don't want to walk into a "money pit".

I know your post was more about how you were feeling,...but the reality is that with major purchases,...the bank doesn't care about them,...and neither does your check book. With homes, it's about all the "hidden" expenses,...repairs, commute times, the cost of gasoline/petrol, utilities, etc. Money up front is one concern,...money on the back end,...the associated costs and logistics of living in this new location is another.
Click to expand...
So...the loan can be in either of our names. Without me, it's only about a 10k difference. My hubby is fully able to qualify for a slightly lower loan without me. As far as the car, my hubby is permanent wfh. So he has no commute. I'm the only one commuting. So if I quit, there is no car rides at all. I would of course look for a job suitable, but the things I can do are...eesh. Kinda slim. I don't really speak, so only wfh data entry would work.
The internet is fine, we've already checked, since my husband is wfh, he has to have good internet. Although rural, it still is covered by the same company we have here. It did pass inspection, and was built in 1997. It comes with 4 acres of land...or as much as you could call "land" in a desert lol. The upside is we are eligible for a usda rural loan, meaning 0 down. But yeah. I'm just....making that jump is just beyond hard. I hate the unknown. Thank you sooo very much for your input- it helps so much to have an outside, logical opinion. I'm too emotionally tied up to see it very logically.
 
I concur with @Judge. In any mortgage for about the first 75% of the term you are primarily paying interest, with little going to your equity, so even small increases in interest rates can ultimately cost a lot. I live in a rural area and one must be pretty much self sufficient, which adds costs for upkeep, if that is a consideration for you. The best plan is that if you are saving any money, if the dividends/interest you earn is less than the interest rate of the mortgage, you will be better served taking some of that money and applying it to your equity.

Another thing that is possible to get better terms is if you find a seller who will sell by contract. The document will have the same provisions as a mortgage. I bought the 40 acres our house sits on by a land contract. The seller wanted to do it that way. In order to get the mineral rights we offered an additional 1% of interest. But doing it that way we could not sell trees until the property was paid for.

It sounds like you could use a walkable area, though, but near anywhere that would also afford room for your dogs may be too expensive. But, there may be hope. Mortgage applications (MBA Purchase Index) has declined precipitously (it is at a 22 year low), a leading indicator of a cooling market that cannot sustain recent high prices. Contractors building on speculation may be looking to unload property and you may also look at the forclosure market.
 
Forest Cat said:
It sounds like you are not very excited about living in a rural area. If it's not something you are sure you want, I suggest thinking about it some more. If you don't drive, that's not optimal. Driving is usually a must in rural areas.

I bought a house in a rural area a few years ago. I lived right in the middle of the capital here and I had to get away. I'm not a fan of cities. So I ran away, bought a house and moved in there. I didn't have to take a loan, paid it in full on day one. So that made it easier of course. I love the area and like it here, but it can be a lot to deal with alone sometimes. Living in the countryside is a little more work than the city. A house and everything around it needs maintenance, there will be expenses and you usually need some elbow grease. You need to plan a litte more and it's just a different type of life I think.

It's not impossible to find work in the countryside, you just have to be prepared to take whatever is availabile. The optimal thing is to find something you can do or make at home. So you work at home. I'm in a way retired now but I work with wood and a few other things at home. I have built some log cabins and stuff.

For me it was a dream to live in the countryside. It sounds like it's different for you, that you're not sure about it. So I would advice you to look at all the details and don't move to the countryside on a whim. Living in the countryside is a lifestyle I think. A way of life. The one big worry I personally have, is that if something happens to me I'm screwed. If I have a medical emergency or get stuck under something, I'm done because I live alone. But besides that I love it here. I always recommend the countryside because I love it, I'm not a city boy, but some can't stand it. So you have to ask yourself what you really want I think. Good luck with everything.
Click to expand...
I actually am...I am quite the gardener and small farm girl. I just fear...the unknown. My husband was attacked at knifepoint last year and it brought home the very real thing of what would I do if something happened to him. I was raised gardening with a huge garden, all kinds of veggies, and things. I would love it. But i have a very deep seated fear of losing my home again. Being homeless was the most terrifying thing I've ever gone through, only short of losing my children. And since I make very little money of myself, I fear being alone without my husband. I'm just not sure what I would do if faced with a mortgage alone. :( But I do want to go. I love the rural area. It appeals to me very much. I have a huge interest in gardening, chickens, planting my own food. But ....omg. what would I do alone? it's just paralyzing. I'm trying not to think of that, I mean, we might live another 40 years. But what if we don't??? ughhhhh.
 
Zhantera said:
So...the loan can be in either of our names. Without me, it's only about a 10k difference. My hubby is fully able to qualify for a slightly lower loan without me. As far as the car, my hubby is permanent wfh. So he has no commute. I'm the only one commuting. So if I quit, there is no car rides at all. I would of course look for a job suitable, but the things I can do are...eesh. Kinda slim. I don't really speak, so only wfh data entry would work.
The internet is fine, we've already checked, since my husband is wfh, he has to have good internet. Although rural, it still is covered by the same company we have here. It did pass inspection, and was built in 1997. It comes with 4 acres of land...or as much as you could call "land" in a desert lol. The upside is we are eligible for a usda rural loan, meaning 0 down. But yeah. I'm just....making that jump is just beyond hard. I hate the unknown. Thank you sooo very much for your input- it helps so much to have an outside, logical opinion. I'm too emotionally tied up to see it very logically.
Click to expand...

I am somewhat familiar with rural "desert Nevada". Does the home have a working well, or are you looking at having water delivered?

I am thinking about something like this with my next home build. This Solar Hydropanel Can Pull 10 Liters of Drinking Water Per Day Out of the Air
 
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Judge said:
Have you been to Buckland Station? It's not too far from Silver Springs. Just a little east of Fort Churchill Park.

An interesting historical place. Was once a Pony Express relay point. Haunted too.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attract...s-Buckland_Station-Silver_Springs_Nevada.html
Click to expand...
yes, I have! I actually love much of rural Nevada- we actually went to Hawthorne, near Walker Lake. We saw a ton of bighorn rams there. I live outside of Reno right now, just near Tahoe. We would love to live more rural. My dad had a huge garden when I was a kid, with potatoes, beans, peppers, tomatoes, corn, etc. I would love to do that again. And one of my service dogs is a big old labrador- he would love to have a yard or room to run. When my hubby and I got married, we put locks on the bridge in Lovelock. I actually really like Nevada, like the really deserty types of places. I also really fell in love with Genoa and Gerlach. So small, but so kitschy. My dream has been to fall off the face of the earth, as long as it has good internet LOL
 
Zhantera said:
So I'll first say I don't post often because I am a horrible responder. I will, however, do my best to respond to any advice.
I've got this situation happening and it's literally overwhelming me. I just need some logical and objective advice.

So my husband and I are finally getting around to wanting to buy our first house. The rental market is horrible where we live. Last year in this month, we lost everything we owned in a fire. We were homeless with my two service dogs for a month, just staying in motels. We finally found a tiny one bedroom apt we could afford. We've been here for a year, and everyone is very cramped and grouchy. So my husband applied for a house loan (I didn't really know he was actively doing it, tbh) and he got approved.
So here we are. I suppose getting your first house should be joyful and exciting, right? Wrong. Here's the hitch....the area I live in is really horrible as far as housing prices. We can't actually afford to live in the city- we didn't get a huge loan, just enough to buy a small home. There is a rural area though, that we have several options for houses. And it looks great, the houses are nice and come with acreage for my dogs. But....so it's rural. Like "thirty minutes drive to the closest store" rural. I would have to quit my job. My job is one of the only jobs I think I could do. I have been fortunate enough to have a set schedule, four hour shifts. I work totally by myself. It's an autistic dream. It doesn't pay much, I don't actually put anything towards our rent. My paycheck only provides enough for my service dogs' food and vet visits. And I just don't know if I could find anything I could even do in the new rural area.
Additionally, I do not, and will not, ever drive. I have bad ptsd surrounding six car accidents, one resulting in a tbi, and I am even a terrible passenger. So part of me is thinking...if something ever happens to my spouse, I'm going to be absolutely screwed out here where the closest store is a 20 minute drive away. If I lose my job, what would I do with a mortgage??
And my husband and I are just going around in circles trying to decide what to do.
It's our dream to get out of the rental race and own our own home. But the risk is just....so high. I loathe giving up the only job that works for me. I cannot do phone work, because I don't really speak that much. I can't do warehouse because I have no curve in my neck and a true leg length discrepancy that causes me pain. This current job I have is probably the one job that suits me. I want to go for it, I really do. But being so unsure makes me stuck. I'm literally stuck in my seat. I haven't been able to do anything much for two weeks now. I just feel frozen to my chair in anxiety. All I can do right now is eat. (I'm a stress/stim eater).
If any of you are a real estate whiz and could explain some of this to me, that would be awesome.
At the very least, thank you to any who have read my rant. It did help to just put it somewhere.
Click to expand...

I agree with @Judge about the Fed. At every level of government, fiscal policy has been like sending a cocaine addict on a vacation to Columbia which required massive expansion of monetary policy to meet it and we're just getting started on inflation. Rates are likely to go up again the next two quarters.

I also agree @Neonatal RRT . The mortgage in and of itself the easy part of the cost. I remember when I bought my first home after leaving the military, I didn't take in to account all of the expenses outside of the mortgage and insurance when I calculated how much I could afford in a home.

Owning is still better than renting to be sure simply because of the equity but it's definitely more expensive than one thinks it will be going in to buying the first time.

@Gerald Wilgus also has a good point about the early years not building equity as quickly To combat this, the three homes I've owned, I've paid my mortgage biweekly which functionally means I pay 13 months of payments in 12 months and I add whatever extra I can every two weeks to further push down the principal and cut interest payments. It's more dramatic of a savings if the mortgage is a 30 year but the principle is the same for any term length.

There's so many wfh jobs now because companies are learning empirically it's more profitable to the bottom line for multiple reasons. The firm I work for is international with tens of thousands of employees and has saved on average $2 million a month after implementing wfh. Less electricity, HVAC usage, because the cafeteria sells everything basically at cost they're saving on food, coffee, soda etc, saving many other places too.

And in my team's case, we're far more productive because there's less chit chat and interruptions during the day.

I know you said the job you have works for you, but revenue - costs dictate what job really works.
 
Ah yes....Genoa. Love the "Candy Dance" festival usually held around September.

The biggest arts and crafts festival in one place I've ever seen.

Yet I still haven't been to Lake Lahontan yet. Yeah....I love Nevada. :cool:
 
Zhantera said:
it has it's own well. it's in Silver Springs, Nevada, if that means anything to you:) and oh. That is most awesome!
Click to expand...
Silver Springs looks like a nice area. A major interstate nearby and a large reservoir and recreation area. Looks like a tourist destination.

Most of my experience with desert Nevada is more in the southern areas near California and Arizona.
 
It's ok to work out concrete issues, but try to stop worrying about spectulation 'what if' scenerios.

For example: If your hubby had terminal cancer it's ok to consider what will happen. If your hubby is not terminally ill, don't start worrying about what might happen if he was.

There are usually trade offs in decisions. What is the most important issue here? If it was me, the personnal safety stands out.
 
First of all, I'm so sorry about the fire. We lost 80 acres to a wildfire about 17 years ago. All the baby pictures, family heirlooms... I kind of understand.

Now about homebuying, this is what I would do. You do not have to take my advice in any way.

1. I would rent a crummy apartment or trailer for another year or two, in an older suburban neighborhood. That's how my last apartment was. It wasn't a bad neighborhood, just an aging apartment, and so the rent was far below the regional average. Use that as leverage to save more toward a down payment.

2. This one hurts terribly, but we've had to do it a few times. How big are your service dogs? Are they true service dogs or emotional support? How much do they eat? We've been homeless a few times, and had to rehome our dogs. Scamp, Snoop, oh I miss them. But dog food and vet care is expensive, and all that money could go toward your savings account. Maybe once your housing is stable, find another, smaller dog. Or leave the dogs with a friend or relative for a year, to foster. It's a reality of low income families. I know so many families that have to rehome over and over again, and say goodbye.

Once you have double the down payment you have now, you will have more financial leverage with banks and sellers. Living rurally, unless you have gas money, sounds like it would not be a good option for you. How about an outer suburban city, closer to "the sticks", but still in town?
 
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