Can I tell you a secret?

[danga]

I'm seeing the trail of lost opportunities at friends and relationships everywhere throughout my life. It's always been fine because I could tell myself I was still young. The fact I recently turned 30 and noticed everyone in my family & people I grew up with being married and/or with kids or such is making me realize just more and more how different my life really is from the norm.

I'm alone but I can't seem to "fit" trying to be with others. I can't connect with people even though I'm a great listener and problem solver. That's been my problem, I feel like everything is one way. I give or offer a lot but I feel like people can't or don't give anything back to me. I noticed a pattern of how I end up dumping people because inevitably I find them too plain or not useful in any way.

I need to stop this but I honestly don't know how, I'd like to ask for help but I might be beyond that.

Thanks for listening

 

[Ereth]

Welcome!

The question you need to answer for yourself is, "What is normal?" What some people consider "normal" is not the same for others. Some people don't want or need as many friends. They might not be interested in romantic attachments, marriages, or children.

I think you'll find your own happiness once you stop measuring your own life using everyone else's yardstick, so to speak.

 

[Sparticus]

Posting here is the first step. I'd recommend coming here, checking out what others are going thru, trying to identify with them/with their actions, learning & when you feel ready, to post more. This is a great website to learn about what you described above, find support and hopefully cope better. Good luck!

 

[Ste11aeres]

I'm going to turn 29 in one week. I know what you mean. I think people are interesting, yet I can't feel interested when I'm actually around them. They are fascinating, yet I am bored by being around them. I found one friend in real life who really makes me happy. That one person can make a big difference.

 

[Judge]

I think people are interesting, yet I can't feel interested when I'm actually around them.

A major frustration of AS to me. That what we think or how we feel is one thing, while the burden of direct socialization has the potential to skew or undermine it all.

 

[tryingtoregister]

I can tell you I just joined here recently and I'm really glad that I did. Everyone here is so understanding and helpful, no one judges you no matter how weird or non-fitting your statement might be in the regular world. I've made a few posts but have really gotten a lot out of just looking at chains that other people posted and seeing the responses, I think you'll find this to be a good forum to be around.