Can't express myself right, even here

[cygx]

I always fumble in my head about what to put down or say. I've found it's more important to put the words down and out before I forget them than to make them have coherent sense. Because of this, I often stay away from places like forums (that and if I were to be completely myself I'd come off as an inconsiderate asshole). I'm trying though. I have to try. I'm sick of not having anyone to relate to.

I never had any training or counseling. I lived through 24 years thinking my head was normal and what I was going through was typical for everyone; they were just apparently better at coping. I'm 27 now and I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. I'm going to a therapist tomorrow but I'm doubtful she'll be able to help me. I made this face that makes me look and act "normal" but actually I'm empty inside. I was blind to this fact all this time.

 

[Ereth]

You might not expect much from therapy right now, but try to keep an open mind. And keep posting. You'll get better at it with practice.

I felt the same things when I was diagnosed, but with support and time, I was able to accept ASD as a part of myself. You will too.

 

[Tarragon]

We are all struggling, but here in AC it's a haven. You will be accepted here for who you are, and if it takes a little time to feel comfy, then that's ok. You are a valid person, and all are welcome. People are far more understanding and accepting here than elsewhere (in my experience) so I hope you carry on joining in with the conversations here if it helps

There are days when I feel more inclined to join in than others. Some days I want to post stuff, but can't just get past my own head to do it. I hope me sharing this with you helps.

 

[Autism]

I always fumble in my head about what to put down or say. I've found it's more important to put the words down and out before I forget them than to make them have coherent sense. Because of this, I often stay away from places like forums (that and if I were to be completely myself I'd come off as an inconsiderate asshole). I'm trying though. I have to try. I'm sick of not having anyone to relate to.

I never had any training or counseling. I lived through 24 years thinking my head was normal and what I was going through was typical for everyone; they were just apparently better at coping. I'm 27 now and I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. I'm going to a therapist tomorrow but I'm doubtful she'll be able to help me. I made this face that makes me look and act "normal" but actually I'm empty inside. I was blind to this fact all this time.

Fumbling around in your brain can happen to everyone of us. I will often read my posts and think: wow, I guess I was thinking of something totally different than another person.

But that is related to autism too, because at any given time I can think of so many subjects and while talking about one subject will think about other subjects, and then answering questions or giving opinions about a completely different subject at the same time. It confuses the heck out of me too and sometimes people are taken aback when I just make a straight beeline to what I want to talk about and make a beeline to the solutions, to the real matters.
Forward thinking I guess but it is often seen as rudeness when in fact my mind is already miles ahead of theirs.

 

[Peace]

I always fumble in my head about what to put down or say. I've found it's more important to put the words down and out before I forget them than to make them have coherent sense. Because of this, I often stay away from places like forums (that and if I were to be completely myself I'd come off as an inconsiderate asshole). I'm trying though. I have to try. I'm sick of not having anyone to relate to.

I never had any training or counseling. I lived through 24 years thinking my head was normal and what I was going through was typical for everyone; they were just apparently better at coping. I'm 27 now and I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. I'm going to a therapist tomorrow but I'm doubtful she'll be able to help me. I made this face that makes me look and act "normal" but actually I'm empty inside. I was blind to this fact all this time.

You are perfectly fine with your words, and as long as you are not aggressive or offensive, you are safe here to be yourself. Many of us struggle with exactly what you describe, and share your feelings of emptiness and how others perceive us. It is perfectly OK to have those feelings. Now that you understand what they are, you can find a way to be comfortable with them.
Each of us is different, yet each of us is the same. Our society looks down on people with addictions for example, right? Yet they discriminate terribly. Addictions that bother no body else are frowned upon, like substances or gambling, but other forms are praised, like the addiction to money or to power.
Know that the only person that you have to find peace with is YOU. I like what you post, and am glad you found your way here.
Have a great day.