Can't get through to my mother!

[motormouth]

Hello there, I'm 14, and I first thought I had Asperger's when I was 12. I began researching Asperger's after reading an article in one of those 'true life' magazines about it.

It wasn't long before I was sure I matched pretty much all of the symptoms. I took the aspie 150 quiz, the pie palace quiz, the empathy quotient, systemizing quotient, mind in the eyes test, relationship quotient, an official IQ and an emotional intelligence test. I got AS for all of them.
I decided at the age of 13 to tell my mum of my suspicions. She told me it was all fine and she would sort it out for me. Weeks later she still hadn't done anything, or even mentioned it again. I gently reminded her, but she said "When I get round to it."
Then we moved house. I gave her time to settle in and get the furniture sorted out, then I reminded her again. She said I behave just like my older brother did, therefore I didn't have it. I was really stung by that, I thought she had just forgotten, but worse, she was in denial

Then, weeks later, she told me that she told her friend, who is 100% sure I don't have anything 'wrong with me'. Now, every time someone mentions it, which they do sometimes, just in passing, she comes to me when I'm alone and says- "See, Caitlin. You're nothing like that."
I just nod glumly.

She hasn't mentioned it at all since, and now every time I say, oh I have crap social skills, or I'm so clumsy, she will say quickly "Nothing's wrong with you Caitlin." I think it's because she means to comfort me, but that just made me metaphorically band my head against the wall out of frustration.

I just don't know why she won't even try to research into it, she seems convinced that I'm HER daughter, and no daughter of hers could possibly have anything 'wrong' with her. I feel that she thinks that if you don't acknowledge a problem, then it isn't there. Wrong attitude! I think it is due to the fact that I am EXCELLENT at staying 'invisible', so I'm just seen as a little eccentric, not the crazy, AS like person I am when around my best friend.
Where do I go from here? Do I try and talk to her about it again? What do I say? Shall I write her a letter or something? Who else could I tell?
Or is there something I can do myself to take into my own hands? You see, I've just started at a new school and don't know anyone.

Or is anyone in the same situation? Or has anyone BEEN in this problem and solved it?
Opinions, advice or help with my situation please? Good thin to discuss, this. :rolleyes2:

Thank you so much

 

[Droopy]

It seems she's in denial about it. The only way to convince her would be to get an official diagnosis from a psychologist. What are your thoughts on getting a diagnosis? Before you go down the diagnosis route you could keep pushing her to do some research with you on it but it doesn't seem like she will.

 

[jaws]

motormouth, First let me give you a belated welcome to the forum. You seems to be on the correct path and even have a good understanding of your mother and her ideas about how a child being other than normal would make her question her worth as a parent. That said, I am all too familiar with parental denial...being that I have AS and I'm gay.

First off, I would ask yourself what is your goal? If it is to get assistance with social skills and help at school, it may be quicker to seek that on your own through teachers, school counselors, or setting your own appointment to see a psychologist.

If it is for acceptance, then just keep at it. I'd recommend choosing AS as a topic for school projects (papers) and then ask your mom to help you with the research. I'd also try to help your mom by talking about some successful people with AS and pointing out the positive aspects. You can also ask for help on each specific item without linking it to AS. Then watch films with AS characters so your mother can start to see the spectrum of AS and not just attribute it to just the sever or classic autism that she may be more familiar with. I find that with persistence and laying all the pieces out for people and letting them put it together you'll get better results than just trying to convince them of your conclusion.

I wish you luck...and let us know how things are progressing for you.