Can't keep a single train of thought.

[Major Tom]

Blue Heron

• Major Tom
• Dec 8, 2017

Lately, I have been struggling keeping my train of thought. Hopefully I can form some sort of coherent thread here, if not I apologise.

My mind is constantly wandering, like a leaf blowing in a strong autumn breeze, or perhaps a butterfly, at its worst, zipping around like a hummingbird. Because of this I struggle greatly communicating verbally, which is really bad, considering I am a teacher. As of late, I have to write down my plans on paper, or I would literally stand there silent before my classes. I just can't do small talk,or teach on the fly anymore, like I could previously. I also suffer from clumsiness, and often injure myself due to inability to focus properly. (I've burnt myself 3 times in the past week).

The worst part is I can barely utter a word to my wife, and our relationship is suffering greatly because of it. All this constant mental and sensory distraction is killing me. Sounds seem so much more intense, I literally jump from being startled at least a few times a day. I really don't know what to do. I already take medicine for ADD, but it has little to no effect, and perhaps is making my concentration and anxiety worse. I live in a foreign country, and have no access to an English speaking psychologist. My psychiatrist only suggests pills (which they always seem to do). None of it is really helping. My anxiety is also through the roof at times as well.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has suffered from these issues? If so what do you do to combat them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you managed to read my no-doubt scatterbrained rantings, thank you for the effort.
Sincerely,
Major

 

[Suzanne]

She shoots her hand up avidly in totally agreement! And even more so, because she also lives in a foreign country and although I am supposed to be seeing a psychiatrist, as yet, they have not been back in touch and I am wondering if I can get across what I need to, in French? I can speak a bit of French and understand up to a certain extent, but something as deep as this, I am concerned, but I need to do it.

If my brain was like a circuit board ( well they are really), then it would short circuit every day, for how active my brain is.

I find it hard to keep on one subject and end up confusing the heck out of my husband. Sometimes, I cannot form a word and end up pointing instead, which winds my husband up and he will say: come on, spit it out, but I can't!

My fluency comes in the form on texts and emails. I often take to texting, because my brain flows better.

 

[SusanLR]

I already take medicine for ADD, but it has little to no effect, and perhaps is making my concentration and anxiety worse

I would agree with this. #1.

Secondly I find anxiety and feeling pressured along with some traumatic changes in lifestyle have increased all of the things you speak of a hundredfold.
My memory and keeping my mind on track has become very difficult and I think it is mainly due to these life changes.
I'm not on any meds for it, so meds aren't my reason.
But, they can be for some.

I would do some honest reflection on anything that has changed in your life or how you feel about things that might be keeping your mind distracted.
And what you mainly feel emotionally.
Do it in a quiet time when you are calmed and know you won't be interrupted. Maybe some ambient music playing low as you contemplate. Or just silence.
Which ever feels the most soothing.
Jot a few things that might come to mind down for reference.
For me feelings of being pressured to hurry or do things when I really don't feel like it will increase my sensory issues through the roof.

Ageing, I'm finding isn't' helping either along with the above issues.

 

[Progster]

Wow, I could have written this myself - I'm a teacher, I live in a foreign country and am having these exact problems with concentration, confusion and memory. I'm really struggling. In my case, I know what is causing the issue. A year ago I had a malignant tumour removed and had to have radiotherapy and chemotherapy, and my doctor told me that these symptoms are either due to 'chemobrain' or a result of the severe stress and anxiety I had during this period - in other words, PTSD symptoms. I also take medication which can also casue similar symptoms. So if a traumatic event occured in your life recently, that could be the cause, or perhaps stress and burnout.

 

[Major Tom]

Wow, I could have written this myself - I'm a teacher, I live in a foreign country and am having these exact problems with concentration, confusion and memory. I'm really struggling. In my case, I know what is causing the issue. A year ago I had a malignant tumour removed and had to have radiotherapy and chemotherapy, and my doctor told me that these symptoms are either due to 'chemobrain' or a result of the severe stress and anxiety I had during this period - in other words, PTSD symptoms. I also take medication which can also casue similar symptoms. So if a traumatic event occured in your life recently, that could be the cause, or perhaps stress and burnout.

I'm glad the chemo did the trick for you, that had to be hugely draining on all levels.
As for me perhaps a lot has to do with work stress, and a stressful home life. My son and wife are very noisy and it over-stimulates me to the extreme. As far as anything as traumatic as you went through I can't say I've been there. But a few years ago I found myself in a scary,bad, and dangerous situation, and I believe that's when all the symptoms I described started. Rather than time healing, things just seem getting worse though. So you may be on to something. Thanks for sharing your story.

 

[Tom]

I am not sure what is going on there. I am sorry you don't have access to a English speaking medical professional. Personnally, I had Anxiety all my life and it did get worse in time (30s-40s). For me anti-anxiety medications have worked reasonably well and especially removed the repetitive and unreasonable worries. What I don't know about is ADD and its medications and how that factors in.

 

[kay]

Hope you feel better soon. Stress from the election(I'm in the US) last year really messed me up. I had to go back to Prozac and quit watching or reading the news. And then of course all sorts of stresses keep popping up since and I am getting to the point of being a mopey blob because I am just too tired to deal with anything. At least though my screaming from sudden loud noises is gone. That was getting embarrassing, though I am really surprised more people don't scream from the sound of popping balloons, exploding transformers, ect....

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

You take some beautiful photos, @Major420! Quite impressive.

I'm sorry for your difficulties. I haven't had to deal with something like that for years. Have you tried telepsychiatry? I haven't, but it could be a valid option for you because of your situation. Has anyone reading this post tried it? If so, would you recommend it?

Just so no stone gets left unturned (no pun intended), does your username suggest the use (and amount of usage) of a certain psychoactive plant that contains THC? If so, then could that be part of the problem? I've been there and done that. My brain is not built for it, so I react badly.

 

[Judge]

"Drug Therapy".

Quite a crapshoot when administered by a psychiatrist. Their suggestions and guesses, versus your ability to tolerate substances which can help or hurt. Or perhaps even kill. A very precarious process for many of us who have endured such a thing. Where you may weigh the prospects of going cold turkey against it all.

It sounds like your only real option is to elect to seek another medication that works better, short of simply abandoning the process altogether. In hindsight I've always thought that I settled for too little, in accepting a medication that sort of worked, but with some nasty side effects. Mostly because the whole process of "drug therapy" was so toxic in itself, in that I was intimidated to try other medications when some of them gave me such bad reactions.

 

[Sabrina]

You could try:

1- Having therapy through videocall. I also live in a foreign country, and I have therapy through Skype with a psychologist of my same cultural background.

2- These guided meditations. They have helped me a lot to avoid intrusive thoughts. TheHonestGuys

3- Simplify your life, remove everything (material or otherwise, like social obligations) that it’s not necessary or does not bring joy, so you can concentrate in what’s important in your life.

4-If you don’t know what’s important in your life, start with that. Think about what’s truly important for you and focus on that.

 

[Streetwise]

Blue Heron

• Major Tom
• Dec 8, 2017

Lately, I have been struggling keeping my train of thought. Hopefully I can form some sort of coherent thread here, if not I apologise.

My mind is constantly wandering, like a leaf blowing in a strong autumn breeze, or perhaps a butterfly, at its worst, zipping around like a hummingbird. Because of this I struggle greatly communicating verbally, which is really bad, considering I am a teacher. As of late, I have to write down my plans on paper, or I would literally stand there silent before my classes. I just can't do small talk,or teach on the fly anymore, like I could previously. I also suffer from clumsiness, and often injure myself due to inability to focus properly. (I've burnt myself 3 times in the past week).

The worst part is I can barely utter a word to my wife, and our relationship is suffering greatly because of it. All this constant mental and sensory distraction is killing me. Sounds seem so much more intense, I literally jump from being startled at least a few times a day. I really don't know what to do. I already take medicine for ADD, but it has little to no effect, and perhaps is making my concentration and anxiety worse. I live in a foreign country, and have no access to an English speaking psychologist. My psychiatrist only suggests pills (which they always seem to do). None of it is really helping. My anxiety is also through the roof at times as well.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has suffered from these issues? If so what do you do to combat them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you managed to read my no-doubt scatterbrained rantings, thank you for the effort.
Sincerely,
Major

You sound like me,the problem is because I had a diagnosis of panic disorder if I still have problems with memory loss my GP just says depression ,somebody else said is it menopause ,I also had a bad reaction to taking two medicines together but my memory frightens me now.
I took an overdose -I don't know what that does to your memory .I had an infection 10 years ago since then I've had needed a lot more vitamin b .I also use Citalopram 40 mg -that's the most anybody can take,if you do take anxiety medicine take the lowest dose you can!and start talk therapy .I met an American lady on the emergency ward and she said take liquid vitamin b .I can't remember seeing it in the UK you might be able to get that in the USA .
What I try is a memory technique whatever you want to remember make a picture in your head that is completely ridiculous .I don't know what you have to think about so I don't know what picture to suggest. I always remember having to post a letter and as I'm in the UK I think a red postbox carrying the letter .
This works if I'm not having panic attacks ,tell more people face-to-face about what is stressing you not just your wife I thought I could rely on my mother solely -my mother is dead . The saying is true it takes a village to bring up a child, I am starting therapy by telephone with a psychologist ,I don't know if that would be available to you but you need something long-term and you need to feel as though you can trust them.
I'm still terrified .I had a photographic memory ,now it's just the past and nothing else and a panic attack if I try to remember something .
And if you need to stim do it don't try and push it down,I pushed down for 30 years can't believe I thought it would work ,I'm paying a terrible price for it.

 

[Major Tom]

Just so no stone gets left unturned (no pun intended), does your username suggest the use (and amount of usage) of a certain psychoactive plant that contains THC? If so, then could that be part of the problem? I've been there and done that. My brain is not built for it, so I react badly.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the compliment and all the good advice! As far as that topic goes, I haven't touched any in years. When I did it had a more of a calming effect, especially when eaten. Some very strong strains would definitely increase my scatterbrained thought patterns though.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

What's the meaning of your username, @Major420, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Major Tom]

What's the meaning of your username, @Major420, if you don't mind me asking?

It's just a pseudonym. But it's referring to my love of Mary Jane.