Can't let go...

[vanillabuzz]

Hello, everyone! So I've been around for a while (often on the quiet side) but this is something I've wanted to talk about for a long time. Now it's come to a point where I can't just ignore it and it's only right that I talk about it with people who I believe will be more understanding than those I am surrounded by in 'real life'.

First of all, I want to ask if any of you have any type of objects you collect and are attached to. I do, and that's stuffed animals. I have hundreds of them that I've been collecting since I was a little girl, and they all have names. It's hard to walk by a toy section without wanting to buy one. I never liked dolls, at the most plush dolls, but mainly stuffed animals. There are different ways to rationalize it, but personally I often see it as my want to rescue all animals since I was a child, but all I could do back then was 'rescue' stuffed ones. Now I do animal rights activism, but I'm still obsessed with stuffed ones. I know they are inanimate objects, but I love them so much and I could never give them away, I'd feel like I would be betraying them. The problem is that it's come to the point where I have too many. If I had a huge room to sit them all in I would, but at the moment I only have my favorites in my bedroom (they are still A LOT) and the rest are in large plastic boxes (so they are comfortable and won't get dirty) in a storage room in my house. I've always felt guilty that those are in boxes anyway, but at least they are with me. However, as we run out of storage space in that room, my mom has asked me to get rid of them repeatedly, but I have been able to talk her out of making me do so. We recently went on a long trip to Europe, and yes I bought more stuffed animals there, but as we have returned and need space to store our luggage, the talk has come up again. It's so difficult, quite impossible really, for me to come to terms with such a decision. There is no way I will be getting rid of half of my stuffed animals, most of which I've had for decades. Sometimes I tell myself they will be happy going to an orphanage and making children happy too, but then I cry because I know they won't be treated as lovingly as I have treated them all my life, and I will never know what has become of them. I love them so much I wish the day I die they could just cremate me in a bonfire with all of my stuffed animals, haha!

So that's where I am. My mom is giving me time to come to terms with it and give away most of them, but I don't know how I will ever be able to do that. I don't know what to do and it's been torturing me for a while now. I can't bring it up with my doctor because he would never understand (I'm finding a new doctor, btw. I need someone who is understanding, not judgmental).

If any of you have any experience having to part from objects you are emotionally attached to, or if you have any suggestions or comments, please share your thoughts!

 

[Tom]

See if there is in fact a division between those you really can't imagine parting with and those you like but mainly because they are there and part of the collection. Getting a collection into more realistic size is something all collectors may go thru NT as well as ASD.

If you can make that division look for a good home for them. If some are sellable (ebay) consider that. Donating to Goodwill or Salvation Army, etc is another option. If you make a mistake and find you get rid of one you should have kept, it is feasible to replace it.

I have had to go thru this with things I collect. Once you break the ice so to speak, and start it may become a lot easier. It was for me. Good luck!

 

[Nitro]

I'm a hoarder, so don't expect any advice from me

 

[Nervous Rex]

I get attached to the dumbest things, but they're the things that mean constancy and stability in my life. I had a jacket that I hung onto long after it started to look old - it had holes all over it and paint splotches in places. It had lost all its insulating stuffing through its holes. I looked like a hobo when I wore it, but I kept it for years because it was my jacket and it felt like an extension of my identity. I finally had to throw it out and buy a new one, which I am now very attached to.

I'd like to say that I can break attachments, but apparently I just deal with it by transferring my attachment to something else. When a favorite TV show declines in quality, I stop watching it, but I turn my attachment to some new TV show. If I burn out on one hobby, I start another. So, I've always got a favorite jacket, TV show, hobby, breakfast, etc.

 

[Thinx]

I think, going on my own experience that if you have stored them you are halfway there. You are moving on a little from the stored items and your current attachments are to newer ones who fit more with who you are now.

I also think it's great that you are posting here about this as that's a step forward too, because it can be hard when you live with others especially a parent maybe, not to defer some of your adult responsibilities that enable making independent decisions and growth.

One time I stored a lot of boxes with my sister, and mice in her garage got in them, I didn't want them much after that! But they made fine nesting materials for those mice and I have now forgotten what was in them. I don't feel sure at all that your stored items wouldn't be wanted by children in need, they deserve to be loved and used I would say, and not stashed away. It's a win win for the stored items and the recipients.

 

[Progster]

I am governed by tow opposing forces, the drive to collect and the urge to put things in order, minimalise and reduce clutter. So I go through periods of accumulating, and periods of throwing things out. But I would never through my CD ar record collection out.

If you have space, then keep them. Why not? But if the problem is that you are running out of space, then you will need to think about giving some away - give them to a person you know is going to get pleasure out of them and look after them, and knowing this will make it easier.

 

[Bella Pines]

I have many collections, lego minifigs being my biggest. One thing I think it's important to analyse, is why. I used to think I collected minifigs for my kids, but they grew out of them and I still kept collecting. I think I do it because the world is so chaotic and hard to control that I need something that I can complete, that I can control. I also used to steal/collect care bears because I felt they were neglected, when I realized that it was me who was neglected and came to terms with the fact that I was displacing my feelings, the habit became easier to control.

Once you understand why you collect things then you can steer the obsession to what you need instead of letting it control you. For example, is it the comfort of a select number of pieces? Is it like a plush Noah's arc where the collection needs one of each animal? If you can split the collection into necessary and surplus, can you find a children's home or children's charity that you can start supplying? I need to keep growing my collection and plan to continue. It's the finding and adding that gives me a sense of achievement that I can't get in real life, so if you find a children's charity and start supplying them regularly then you get to continue the collection whilst making the world a slightly happier place.

 

[vanillabuzz]

Thank you so much for your responses everyone! I really appreciate it.