Carnelian
Active Member
I don't know if anyone else experiences this...but there are sometimes and certain situations where I just can't speak. Literally it becomes like my mouth is sewn shut and the words are all in there but I can't get them out. A trap door has closed over my vocal cords and I can't say anything.
Usually this happens when I'm in a social situation I haven't planned, asked a question, needed to order something or ask someone for help, and any situation that pops up where I'm not expecting to talk.
But in other situations, I talk a lot. My old sociology professor had to limit me three answers per class because I was so amazing at sociology and answering everything in long descriptions (she told me after finals I could've probably taught that class if I wanted to) and the other kids weren't learning anything. So, if it's a situation I'm passionate about (say Boolean algebra or sociology or epidemiology) then I can go on and on.
Also, surprisingly, I talk a LOT with my therapist. She's very good, I guess. She's the first therapist who I haven't destroyed the physical property of. I'd like to give myself credit for that bit of self-control but she deserves some too.
But at home or at school, I'm mainly mute unless I have to talk. I just...don't like it. I once mused (in therapy) that I probably talk more in one hour of therapy than I do the whole week.
Anyone else like this? When I do talk it's very eloquent and smart and I have a big vocabulary and it's also kinda "obvious" to some people that I'm autistic. But other times I just clam up and can't get a word out!
I'm so scared for when I have to do a public speaking class!
Usually this happens when I'm in a social situation I haven't planned, asked a question, needed to order something or ask someone for help, and any situation that pops up where I'm not expecting to talk.
But in other situations, I talk a lot. My old sociology professor had to limit me three answers per class because I was so amazing at sociology and answering everything in long descriptions (she told me after finals I could've probably taught that class if I wanted to) and the other kids weren't learning anything. So, if it's a situation I'm passionate about (say Boolean algebra or sociology or epidemiology) then I can go on and on.
Also, surprisingly, I talk a LOT with my therapist. She's very good, I guess. She's the first therapist who I haven't destroyed the physical property of. I'd like to give myself credit for that bit of self-control but she deserves some too.
But at home or at school, I'm mainly mute unless I have to talk. I just...don't like it. I once mused (in therapy) that I probably talk more in one hour of therapy than I do the whole week.
Anyone else like this? When I do talk it's very eloquent and smart and I have a big vocabulary and it's also kinda "obvious" to some people that I'm autistic. But other times I just clam up and can't get a word out!
I'm so scared for when I have to do a public speaking class!