Can't stand psychologist's face in middle of screen during Zoom meeting

[22222]

I know - how weird.

I am only comfortable if he is in the bottom left corner of my screen. That way I can just look at the painting in the background instead of his face. When he gets in the center of the screen, it makes me start to panic.

And I think he is trying to slowly get out of the corner. Auugh!! I don't like looking directly at a person's face, expecially eye-contact. And with my laptop, I feel like he is just a couple of feet away - just a screen with a big face on it right in front of me!!!

 

[Suzanne]

Same! But with my faith.

I shrink my screen down and have it on speaker only, so that I am in a small frame and the one whom I am talking to, is bigger, but not so big as to be overwhelming.

 

[Tom]

Shrink the window and move it to lower left corner. Have a backround that you like looking at.

 

[Suzette]

I don't like looking at others through screens either. I don't even like YouTube videos where the speaker is looking directly into the camera. Shrinking the image helps a lot!

 

[Progster]

I work with video calls because I'm an online tutor, and I agree, full screen is too much/overwhelming. It's too close, too... detailed. I always reduce the window and put it to one side.

 

[Tom]

Or, you might as the shrink to wear a mask of something that you find relaxing. Do you like pidgeons?

 

[Aspychata]

Totally see this. Every once in awhile, l have aversion to someone's face. I had this with a newly hired manager who had a face that resembled an elf. He worked out and prided himself on his body. But then spent a lot of his time hanging in my store trying to talk to me. I ended up really hating him. It doesn't happen with woman but l run into it with men. I just get hung up on a detail about their face like this guy's elf shaped face plus the fact he wore really weird things only to draw more attention to his face because the pattern on his shirt or jacket was so color repulsive, l prayed for aliens to abduct me when he spoke to me.

 

[22222]

Well this is embarrassing...I don't know how to shrink the window and move it so it didn't occur to me that I could. I will see if I can figure it out because it is a really good idea.

And I just love the pidgeon costume - lol - I would probably get an additional diagnosis if I requested the psychologist wear it.

I feel like it is a paradox. I really like people and want friends but have a really hard time looking at anybody's face. It is the eye contact that is hard. I can glance but then need to look away. I can only talk if I am not looking at someone's face at the time. Once I am done talking, I can glance back at them. I really need to push myself to maintain enough contact so people don't react like I am strange.

 

[Aspychata]

Try looking at the top of your screen , there is a little square in the top right side. Try clicking on that. It should minimize the screen. Then you can possibly drag it to the side with your mouse pointer.

I spend way too much time staring at birds. And cows. And lizards. Pigeon suit sounds cute.

 

[22222]

Thank you! I will give that a try. I have no problem looking at bird faces, cow faces, lizard faces...

 

[Thinx]

I feel like it is a paradox. I really like people and want friends but have a really hard time looking at anybody's face. It is the eye contact that is hard. I can glance but then need to look away. I can only talk if I am not looking at someone's face at the time. Once I am done talking, I can glance back at them. I really need to push myself to maintain enough contact so people don't react like I am strange.

This is very typical in people with autism. Many here would say the same. I am not comfortable with striving to do more eye contact than works for me, these days.

 

[Kirsty]

Cool. I’ll know to minimise/shrink the screen. Question - will the host know I’ve minimised the screen? Probably not? I have a meeting over Zoom on Monday.

(It’ll be on my iPhone by the way.)

 

[SimplyWandering]

Sometimes I'm only half a head when I am talking to my doctors online... sometimes only the bottom half of my face

 

[Ella Spell]

I always tell my therapists that I'm autistic and I don't make eye contact. I barely even look at the screen but if I do I don't even try to look at their face or their eyes. After all, they're trained to understand autism and not take it personally.

For the record I don't like them looking at me either. I have Scopophobia (fear of being stared at or seen). I turn my head to the side, stim, and totally ignore the fact there's a camera present. I kind of treat it like a phone call instead of video.

If they don't like it, that's their issue to remember I'm autistic.

The pigeon is a great idea though.

 

[Fino]

Just be strange! There are countless awesome people that will embrace you anyway. It makes them feel good about themselves anyway, mostly men. It makes them feel dominant. It probably inspires pity in women.

 

[Suzanne]

Well this is embarrassing...I don't know how to shrink the window and move it so it didn't occur to me that I could

Every day is a learning day, so sweep embarrassment away and it also gives those of us, who know the chance to shine lol

As another said about the small square, usually top right of screen in corner, between the _ and x which you click on and it reduces your screen. Then, get your mouse pointer hovering over the side of the window and you will see a two way arrow and then, drag that inwards and voila, you have a shrunken screen and if you find that simple enough, you can use your mouse pointer in the upper middle of the screen and shift it to where ever you want. You can also reduce the screen to a tiny screen. It is like squashing it.

 

[22222]

Thank you Suzanne for the detailed description. Lol - my psychologist is going to be so tiny...

 

[SDRSpark]

Cool. I’ll know to minimise/shrink the screen. Question - will the host know I’ve minimised the screen? Probably not? I have a meeting over Zoom on Monday.

(It’ll be on my iPhone by the way.)

Nope, they won't!

"Eye contact" on zoom doesn't really work anyway. As long as you're looking at the screen (which is in the general direction of the camera) it looks normal. You could have their conversation in the background and be looking at comics for all they know. (Just don't laugh at inappropriate times.)

 

[Kirsty]

Nope, they won't!

"Eye contact" on zoom doesn't really work anyway. As long as you're looking at the screen (which is in the general direction of the camera) it looks normal. You could have their conversation in the background and be looking at comics for all they know. (Just don't laugh at inappropriate times.)

Lol! I did think I might laugh or ‘act out’ a daydream and be caught in it. Cameras are also good at picking up micro facial expressions even from far away.

 

[Pieceofmind]

This is very typical in people with autism. Many here would say the same. I am not comfortable with striving to do more eye contact than works for me, these days.

With me the situation is a little weirder, I don't have too many issues myself with looking at people in the eyes but people get uncomfortable when I do it appears anyways so conversations can also get a little awkward if I don't know the person very well, they could snap at me at any moment. Of course this is also probably CPTSD talking too that gets mixed in there. It's hard to describe, I'm just an extremely intense person up front when I actually want to interact with someone. My eyes feel like they almost lock on to the other person's eyes and I need to voluntarily look away to not be as intense. I may be an oddity here though in the community which wouldn't surprise me as I feel like an alien most of the time anyways.