Chatting Up Women

[total-recoil]

I've been discovering how bold I can be with the opposite sex now it's dawned on me I'm not neurotypical or that I have much in common with people around me. I think that probably I came to conclude I don't really have anything to prove to anyone so might as well just be myself. Also, now I spend a lot of time doing music, I gradually got a reputation for being a misunderstood musician and a lot of girls and women started to chat to me.
I never try to pick anyone up but will just chat away and make jokes and I find that lots of women will talk to me. There is one in particular who is very attractive and now always calls me by my first name and maybe flirts quite a bit (although as I'm socially blind to non verbal language I've no idea if it's serious flirting or just fun).
I think the music has helped a lot as it breaks down a lot of barriers and also it's widely known a lot of musicians are eccentric or strange but once you start to express how you feel musically, that changes a lot. The other week I played a recording of myself singing a track to a girl and her eyes seemed to widen and she seemed really intrigued. After looking around on music forums I hear other musicians share that when they sing girls just seem to dig it a lot.

 

[Gulas]

I think that probably I came to conclude I don't really have anything to prove to anyone so might as well just be myself.

YES! 100 times yes! Being able to be myself, with no shame, or that tought "what others will think". Perhaps this is the one of the most attractive behavior someone can do, being honest and express ones quirks. If both personalities match great. If not, then rejection can save a lot of time, instead of spending time with someone incompatible with someone who is compatible.

I'm play guitar but as a hobby, not good as a musician. My question is, where do you go out and express your music? How do you make contacts (which can be tough for an aspie)? I've heard that making a living through music is hard.

 

[Loomis]

I've been discovering how bold I can be with the opposite sex now it's dawned on me I'm not neurotypical or that I have much in common with people around me. I think that probably I came to conclude I don't really have anything to prove to anyone so might as well just be myself... I never try to pick anyone up but will just chat away and make jokes and I find that lots of women will talk to me. There is one in particular who is very attractive and now always calls me by my first name and maybe flirts quite a bit (although as I'm socially blind to non verbal language I've no idea if it's serious flirting or just fun).
...The other week I played a recording of myself singing a track to a girl and her eyes seemed to widen and she seemed really intrigued. After looking around on music forums I hear other musicians share that when they sing girls just seem to dig it a lot.

I am not a musician, but like you, I have learned to talk to NTs and socialize in spite of being as you say "blind to nonverbal language." Your post very clearly describes nonverbal communication you identified and interpreted.

Research has shown that people on the spectrum use different parts of their brain than an NT would use to infer the meaning in gestures, movements and body language. Things that are intuitively clear to an NT are enigmatic to us; we are slow and plodding as we work to understand the subtle delivery of feelings and expression of thoughts transmitted without the use of words. We must substitute logic, experience, rational thinking and empirical observation for the NTs innate ability for nonverbal communication.

I believe with practice and hard work many of us can break the nonverbal communication code and begin to understand and perhaps even develop some skill in using nonverbal communication.