Cleaning up my language. This confirmed it.

[Tony Ramirez]

I never liked hearing bad language but recently started to use it more when I got angry and used harder language the angrier, I got. I really got to the point where I only started to use and say the minor swears when Madison stood me up that time at the coffee hour at the old church. Then it finally grew up to the s-word but no further.

Today at Roots cafe even with earphones on and loud music the four so called young I guess college age friends there working sure looked like they were friends but the way they talked to each other besides the bad language like go f yourself you say to your friend things like free loading s-word other insults were things you would say behind someone you hate. I left those toxic people bitter but thinking that I don't want to talk or be associated with fools like that and was heading to my new church with people of similar age and older.

Of course, at church people there were polar opposite and the message taught was dead on accurate so now I meant that I feel now I am going to stop first with that swear when angry and stop with the others. I understand now swearing when really angry but to swear especially to your friends just for fun and bad insults is not nice and you really should have better manners.

 

[paloftoon]

That dynamic you saw sounds like people did get along and did understand each other enough despite swearing to each other. Even though you can tell the difference, I think it may take many of us significantly more energy to think which is which.

So, it is just an easier rule to follow to not swear for you rather than to figure out if people are doing it out of anger or banter (playfulness/a youthful way to be/show friendship elite cliquey-ness) .

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Sorry but what they said to each other I would not say to my worst enemy. My church friends would not have tolerated if I said that to them, or if a few of them did. It was degrading.

 

[SusanLR]

I agree and hear it all the time with people just talking with each other.
How they think it is fun or playful is beyond me.
I would be very angry if someone talked that way to me because in my mind it would mean they were angry or making fun of me.

Like you, if I am really angry about something or very frustrated, I do use a swear word. It just comes out even if I'm alone. Like, Oh, *
I've been told that young people make fun of each other and say insulting things and think it's funny. They call it "ranking."

 

[Misery]

This is one of those odd things where you cant truly discern the meaning of it without knowing the person who is doing it.

Like, for example, with me and immediate family and close friends, banter of all sorts is common and constant. As is my non-stop sarcasm. Probably would sound awful to anyone not used to it, but me and everyone in my little circle all know what is actually meant by any of it. So nobody is offended or anything, nobody is hurt by it. Despite that it can sound like a bunch of insults.

Though, there's not exactly much actual swearing in any of it. Instead I tend to sound like Yosemite Sam when agitated enough, or I might throw weird insults at stuff. Like I called something a "punctured bongo" the other day. "Bent hubcap" is another favorite, as is "you boiled lump". If I'm going to "swear" it may as well be creative.

Rather than the just constant barrage of f-bombs that seems to make up even basic conversations for a lot of people. That just gets annoying fast, even if I know the person saying them has no malice behind any of it. I mean really, cant they come up with something different for once?

 

[DrBadStrings]

I'll stick with the George Carlin school of thought in that there are no bad words. Bad ideas, bad thoughts, bad intentions, but words are harmless, it's the person using them that causes the harm.

Swearing can be a wonderfully creative and expressive act. And frankly sometimes an eff bomb is exactly what is called for for emphasis.

Now to be fair if I'm with people I don't know I don't typically swear at all, time and place for everything. But if I'm with folks that know me well, I swear frequently and colorfully. Even with being hyperlexic the "F" word is probably one of my most favorite words in the world.

 

[Mary Terry]

This is one of those odd things where you cant truly discern the meaning of it without knowing the person who is doing it.

Like, for example, with me and immediate family and close friends, banter of all sorts is common and constant. As is my non-stop sarcasm. Probably would sound awful to anyone not used to it, but me and everyone in my little circle all know what is actually meant by any of it. So nobody is offended or anything, nobody is hurt by it. Despite that it can sound like a bunch of insults.

Though, there's not exactly much actual swearing in any of it. Instead I tend to sound like Yosemite Sam when agitated enough, or I might throw weird insults at stuff. Like I called something a "punctured bongo" the other day. "Bent hubcap" is another favorite, as is "you boiled lump". If I'm going to "swear" it may as well be creative.

Rather than the just constant barrage of f-bombs that seems to make up even basic conversations for a lot of people. That just gets annoying fast, even if I know the person saying them has no malice behind any of it. I mean really, cant they come up with something different for once?

I think swearing is an inarticulate substitute for a lack of vocabulary. One can deliver a bigger verbal punch with creative, descriptive words than with the same old, overused curse words.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

That is why for a long time I said I would only hang out with Christians. I tried to hang with regulars. Except for most yogis I encounter mainly the ones older than me 60+ BTW or the younger married women that my ex studio was loaded with, that very toxicity so I go back to Christians even when I vow never to want to go back to the Almighty again this is the reasons why.

 

[paloftoon]

I agree and hear it all the time with people just talking with each other.
How they think it is fun or playful is beyond me.
I would be very angry if someone talked that way to me because in my mind it would mean they were angry or making fun of me.

Like you, if I am really angry about something or very frustrated, I do use a swear word. It just comes out even if I'm alone. Like, Oh, *
I've been told that young people make fun of each other and say insulting things and think it's funny. They call it "ranking."

From my understanding, the playfulness in such crudeness "simply" comes from the idea that it's rebellious and they either like it and/or don't really conform to the more conservative standards of conversation. Maybe they didn't work out well in society and felt socially repressed, or they just naturally got along with other crude behaving people, or had bad social experiences from people in more conservative circles. So, this is the result.

 

[paloftoon]

That is why for a long time I said I would only hang out with Christians. I tried to hang with regulars. Except for most yogis I encounter mainly the ones older than me 60+ BTW or the younger married women that my ex studio was loaded with, that very toxicity so I go back to Christians even when I vow never to want to go back to the Almighty again this is the reasons why.

There are non-religious people who are not (overly) crude too. Just go by individual context as much as possible and be prepared to change your social circles as necessary if need be.

 

[jsilver256]

That dynamic you saw sounds like people did get along and did understand each other enough despite swearing to each other. Even though you can tell the difference, I think it may take many of us significantly more energy to think which is which.

I imagine that is a big reason for the moderation of such words on this board.

 

[paloftoon]

I imagine that is a big reason for the moderation of such words on this board.

True. It's generally not allowed or its form is changed on any forum or medium for the most part rather than ours specifically.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'll stick with the George Carlin school of thought in that there are no bad words. Bad ideas, bad thoughts, bad intentions, but words are harmless, it's the person using them that causes the harm.

Swearing can be a wonderfully creative and expressive act. And frankly sometimes an eff bomb is exactly what is called for for emphasis.

Now to be fair if I'm with people I don't know I don't typically swear at all, time and place for everything. But if I'm with folks that know me well, I swear frequently and colorfully. Even with being hyperlexic the "F" word is probably one of my most favorite words in the world.

I spent most of my career in factories The F word is the only English word that a noun , verb, pronoun or adjective. depending on use.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

There are non-religious people who are not (overly) crude too. Just go by individual context as much as possible and be prepared to change your social circles as necessary if need be.

I agree. Most places I venture in the city even at that cafe the people are fine. Every now and then you encounter a bunch of riff Raffs then I leave or go to another place they have a post pandemic sitting place at that cafe I can go too outside the WiFi is weaker but it still works with my laptop and phone to stream 4k.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't swear much unless I'm really angry, because it actually helps release the emotion (other than crying) and also emphasises how angry I am, particularly on forums when I really need to vent. It's a shame this site is rather kakologophobic.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Tony, do you feel you grew up in a dysfunctional family? were you parents abusive or mean to you growing up?