Coming out about my autism

[ヤス三ン]

I am thinking about telling my dad about my autism (undiagnosed, now being referred with 2 year waiting time)....

The thing is my dad didn't know what I was like as a child or much of what I was like as a teenager, the first time that I saw him (after briefly meeting him for 5 mind at 7 years old) was at 17 when I went visit him in USA, 16 years on and I have been to see him many times, however I am not very chatty with him, I keep to myself and only give basic answers to his questions on the phone (not hostle but more of a closed book).
How to approach the subject of my autism? my dad knows hardly anything about autism and the little he does know is probably of the more severe "classic" autism, but he is the type of person who is willing to learn more.
Does anyone know of any websites, articles or videos that would be good to send him?

 

[Rodafina]

Hello, ヤス三ン

I am thinking about telling my dad about my autism

This sounds like it’s probably really important and a good idea… Over the past year I made the same decision about both my mother and my father. I had come to a pretty thorough understanding on my own well before I was ready to talk to them about it, and it was confusing how to approach it.

It has paid off immensely in just feeling understood, and it is also helpful in simply making sense of my life.

How to approach the subject of my autism? my dad knows hardly anything about autism and the little he does know is probably of the more severe "classic" autism, but he is the type of person who is willing to learn more.

Like I said, I had a hard time knowing what to do, but it’s good to know that little detail about your father - that he’s willing to learn. My suggestion is to dig a little deeper or perhaps share with us some more details about your father and how he receives information.

For example, my mother and father are very different. My mother is bookish and nerdy (like me) and I was able to communicate with her through shared literature and more scientific resources. On the other side, my father is less interested in absorbing information in that way, and so for us, it’s been more of a process of just spending time together and learning that we are very similar. The more I stumbled through trying to explain my experience with autism to him, the more he was able to say, “I am like that, too.”

We are learning that we two are the ones in the family that have always struggled and always hidden it, and we are learning we are much more alike than we ever knew.

So yeah, I don’t have any good resources, specifically. I am looking for those too. I just offer you encouragement. It might be worth it to take this chance and go for it.

 

[Todd]

I am thinking about telling my dad about my autism (undiagnosed, now being referred with 2 year waiting time)....

The thing is my dad didn't know what I was like as a child or much of what I was like as a teenager, the first time that I saw him (after briefly meeting him for 5 mind at 7 years old) was at 17 when I went visit him in USA, 16 years on and I have been to see him many times, however I am not very chatty with him, I keep to myself and only give basic answers to his questions on the phone (not hostle but more of a closed book).
How to approach the subject of my autism? my dad knows hardly anything about autism and the little he does know is probably of the more severe "classic" autism, but he is the type of person who is willing to learn more.
Does anyone know of any websites, articles or videos that would be good to send him?

Show him this site. For those who don't understand yet, browsing the posts on this site is increasingly informative. Good luck, what ever you decide.

 

[Fino]

It doesn't sound like the two of you are very close. Why tell him? I'm not arguing with you. I'm just curious.

 

[Suzanne]

From my own experience, it is best to actually get a diagnosis first, because otherwise, people prejudge us. I know this, because it happened to me.

I had all sorts of strange responses, when I said that I am on the autism spectrum, because the avarage nt only sees the classic form of autism, but as soon as they know you are formally diagnosed, that makes a huge difference.

However, if your dad is open minded, then perhaps, yes, he could be an advocate for you, even though he came into your life a bit later on in your years, because autism does not stay only in our childhood.

I watched many youtube videos and came here too, which all helped me to convince my husband enough, to pursue the possiblity of autism.

 

[ヤス三ン]

From my own experience, it is best to actually get a diagnosis first, because otherwise, people prejudge us. I know this, because it happened to me.

I had all sorts of strange responses, when I said that I am on the autism spectrum, because the avarage nt only sees the classic form of autism, but as soon as they know you are formally diagnosed, that makes a huge difference.

However, if your dad is open minded, then perhaps, yes, he could be an advocate for you, even though he came into your life a bit later on in your years, because autism does not stay only in our childhood.

I watched many youtube videos and came here too, which all helped me to convince my husband enough, to pursue the possiblity of autism.

I won't be getting diagnosed for nearly 2 years, there is a 2 year year waiting list where I like in the UK.

 

[Suzanne]

I won't be getting diagnosed for nearly 2 years, there is a 2 year year waiting list where I like in the UK.

Shame you cannot pop over to France lol, because I received my diagnosis very fast.

 

[Aspychata]

Be prepared for him to disregard it. My mom sorta said nope, you don't have that. Now l think she is realizing she may have it herself. Do you think your father may also be on the spectrum? It can run in families.