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Coming out Aspie

Plant13

Plant13

Member
Yes, I decided it wasn't fair, having started a relationship of sorts, to keep my secret now that I know it. A number of metaphors come to mind. Its not a secret, I wrote to him, you already know all these things about me. Well, I can't speak it. And in true fashion he replied with a sweet and unrelated message that indicated ... nothing negative. I'm running with it. Its probably like an alcoholic dating in the first year of sobriety but I'm brave/stupid/hopeful. My little voice is saying 'he probably skimmed every word but 'sex' in all those paragraphs Plant'. Shhh, little voice. Be brave/stupid/hopeful.
 
Be brave, be stupid, be hopeful, be all of those things. I was already with my current boyfriend when I was diagnosed and was scared of what he would think, and if things would change. Scared he didn't want to be with a "crazy" person. But just like you wrote, he already knew all those things about me. He knew I was weird. He liked me because of (or in spite of) those things. It's just that my mixed bag of neuroses had a name now. And it didn't change anything for the worse. Hoping your experience will be the same. I think it's brave of you to be open, let's hope your braveness is rewarded.
 
Bolletje said:
Be brave, be stupid, be hopeful, be all of those things. I was already with my current boyfriend when I was diagnosed and was scared of what he would think, and if things would change. Scared he didn't want to be with a "crazy" person. But just like you wrote, he already knew all those things about me. He knew I was weird. He liked me because of (or in spite of) those things. It's just that my mixed bag of neuroses had a name now. And it didn't change anything for the worse. Hoping your experience will be the same. I think it's brave of you to be open, let's hope your braveness is rewarded.
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That is exactly what I wrote to him. Frankly also, I think a man who is so comfortable with so little eye contact may be undiagnosed and a perfect match for me. We have a lot of those little physical contacts-spontaneous hand holding and shifting (the shifting is the key here) to keep it clean. : ) that make me think its ok. If you've ever ridden motorcycles maybe you get this, absolutely not a thought in your head but wind. I'm going to have to try to keep that.
 
Plant13 said:
If you've ever ridden motorcycles maybe you get this, absolutely not a thought in your head but wind. I'm going to have to try to keep that.
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you-never-see-a-motorcycle-parked-outside-of-a-psychiatrist-s-office.jpg



Live to ride,ride to live :cool:
 
Bolletje said:
He knew I was weird. He liked me because of (or in spite of) those things.
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LOL! Like my line to my husband, "You knew I was weird when you married me."

When I shared my suspicions, he was the strongest voice about making it official, if true. And when it was true, he said, "I don't want this to change anything between us." <3
 
WereBear said:
LOL! Like my line to my husband, "You knew I was weird when you married me."

When I shared my suspicions, he was the strongest voice about making it official, if true. And when it was true, he said, "I don't want this to change anything between us." <3
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And it should not change anything, we all have quirks - ours can actually be understood and have an origin.
 
I think it's good you told him, your relationship will be so much easier if you don't have to hide from him. Hope it goes well.
 
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