Communication landmines

[gouldgrl]

That's what I call them because you don't realize they're there until you step on one--and then they blow up in your face! Today, I had one happen at work (that's where they seem to lurk most often), and I was about ready to walk out the door. It's like I'm speaking an entirely different language. I ask a question; I get what I think is the right answer; then days later I find out I didn't "interpret" the information correctly. "I think you were just confused," my co-worker said.

I don't know if I don't hear people very well, or if their strong accents make it hard for me to understand them. I just wish I could do some type of work that didn't require me to constantly second guess what people are saying to me!

I think I have a pretty good grasp of the English language, but for some reason I am forever tripping communication landmines.
Anyone else care to weigh in on this?

 

[King_Oni]

Would it help to ask or repeat what someone said to make sure you get a confirmation you understood correctly?

Over years I've learned not to assume what people say, and as such don't assume stuff myself when talking. I can see that this would be a problem with jobs, where they rather not have people talking a lot since it would decrease productivity, but I feel that slow, clear and concise communication is key, especially for some of us, even though some NT people are masters at misinterpreting as well.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

lol I used to get these a lot when I worked in customer service. People would take my lack of emotion in my voice as me being rude ... it wasn't that's just how I asked a question. At my last job someone I worked with thought I was always having a dig at them because I think aloud and chew on things that way and when they asked me to look at something they thought I was having a go.

I guess its because much of the world relies on things us poor aspies are in the dark about.

 

[gouldgrl]

I do this quite a lot already, but I suppose I ought to do it every time I'm seeking information from someone. I don't want people to think I'm an abject idiot ("Why does this woman constantly repeat what I've just told her?"). But I guess they're going to think that anyway!

Would it help to ask or repeat what someone said to make sure you get a confirmation you understood correctly?

Over years I've learned not to assume what people say, and as such don't assume stuff myself when talking. I can see that this would be a problem with jobs, where they rather not have people talking a lot since it would decrease productivity, but I feel that slow, clear and concise communication is key, especially for some of us, even though some NT people are masters at misinterpreting as well.

 

[gouldgrl]

Not to labor the point, but what disturbs me most is how I react to these incidents. I have a very strong feeling of being targeted for ridicule; if it involves more than one person (like the episode at work), it feels almost conspiratorial. I'm the new girl at the shop, so of course the two other ladies (who have worked together for years) are going to say I must have been "confused."

I managed to calm myself down after a while, but I worry that if another one of these episodes happens I'm just going to walk out--or worse.