Communication styles?

[Ban]

I feel like when I talk to others on the spectrum and even observing discussions on here I am seeing communication that seems to be as effective as what I am seeing from NT's. I had thought, perhaps wrongly? That autism almost always included a deficit in communication.
I'm not sure if I am just not able to appreciate the full extent of communication between NT's because I am tuning into the wrong parts but to me it almost seems less effective. Maybe something along the lines of I am judging communication success based on its efficiency of sharing information which is maybe a standard I have made up. If that standard is wrong what would it be missing?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I think we are judged by how direct we communicate. Especially when I have things down pat I do not mince words. I was known as a person who talked truth to power. Some did not like it. Others, especially engineers, wanted my assessments.

 

[LadyS]

Agree, in general we are more direct while NTs have a lot of nuances and rely on a lot of unspoken communication like body language and eye contact. I don't think either is necessarily "better" than the other. Just different. But because NTs outnumber us, it's more of an adherence to their 'standard' protocol of communication. Which sucks, lack of a better term.

 

[Magna]

There was at least one study done that essentially found the following:

• NTs generally communicate without difficulty with other NTs. They generally understand each other without difficulty.
• NTs have difficulty communicating with autistic people.
• Autistic people have difficulty communicating with NTs
• Autistic people generally communicate without difficulty with other autistic people. They generally understand each other without difficulty.

The study concluded something that is very important in my opinion: It's incorrectly thought that autistic people have a universal difficulty in communicating well with everyone. Incorrect. The issue is far more a disconnect between NT and autistics, not being on the same "wavelength", so to speak. It's been said that autistic people have a communication deficit. Incorrect. It depends on who is communicating with whom. It could be said equally then that an NT has a communication deficit if the NT is the only NT in a room full of autistic people (who communicate well with each other).

 

[Matthias]

I feel like when I talk to others on the spectrum and even observing discussions on here I am seeing communication that seems to be as effective as what I am seeing from NT's. I had thought, perhaps wrongly? That autism almost always included a deficit in communication.
I'm not sure if I am just not able to appreciate the full extent of communication between NT's because I am tuning into the wrong parts but to me it almost seems less effective. Maybe something along the lines of I am judging communication success based on its efficiency of sharing information which is maybe a standard I have made up. If that standard is wrong what would it be missing?

It's not spelled out but I think the psychologists who wrote the criteria for autism are only referring to deficits in communication with NTs. Since they see NTs as the standard of what's correct or desirable, your lack of deficits communicating with autistic "deviants" doesn't count.

 

[Ban]

There was at least one study done the essentially found the following:

• NTs generally communicate without difficulty with other NTs. They generally understand each other without difficulty.
• NTs have difficulty communicating with autistic people.
• Autistic people have difficulty communicating with NTs
• Autistic people generally communicate without difficulty with other autistic people. They generally understand each other without difficulty.

The study concluded something that is very important in my opinion: It's incorrectly thought that autistic people have a universal difficulty in communicating well with everyone. Incorrect. The issue is far more a disconnect between NT and autistics, not being on the same "wavelength", so to speak. It's been said that autistic people have a communication deficit. Incorrect. It depends on who is communicating with whom. It could be said equally then that an NT has a communication deficit if the NT is the only NT in a room full of autistic people (who communicate well with each other).

It's not spelled out but I think the psychologists who wrote the criteria for autism are only referring to deficits in communication with NTs. Since they see NTs as the standard of what's correct or desirable, your lack of deficits communicating with autistic "deviants" doesn't count.

I'm really glad to hear this. This is exactly what I was speculating on and it makes me feel like I'm not crazy. Why isn't this spelled out though? I don't understand why this isn't talked about more rather than letting us go around thinking we're just crazy?

 

[tree]

There was at least one study done..."

Please cite some of those studies.

 

[Magna]

Please cite some of those studies.

I don't have a link to the study. If I do come across the link, I will definitely add it here. I'm actually getting ready to do a zoom meeting with other autistic people tonight. I've been holding that meeting that started as a local group for a few years now. I look forward to the fact that we'll be communicating well together. First hand experience supports the study I read.

 

[Matthias]

I'm really glad to hear this. This is exactly what I was speculating on and it makes me feel like I'm not crazy. Why isn't this spelled out though? I don't understand why this isn't talked about more rather than letting us go around thinking we're just crazy?

I found the criteria used to diagnose autism that lists specific "deficits" at:
Autism Diagnosis Criteria: DSM-5 | Autism Speaks

I think a big part of the problem is due to the people in charge suffering from NT syndrome:
NT Syndrome Diagnostic Criteria

 

[Aspychata]

Thanks @Ban

You have bring some great insights to this forum.

If l could communicate thru writing with everyone then all my problems would be better. If you took this forum and shoved us in a room, who knows how successful that would be? But l have gotten along great with two bosses that were on the spectrum. I may have worked for another one along time ago.

Not so well with NT female bosses. That's been tough.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

If you took this forum and shoved us in a room, who knows how successful that would be?

Knowing myself, I mentally wince at what the resulting small talk may be like.

 

[Fino]

Bro, this is written communication.

 

[Ban]

Knowing myself, I mentally wince at what the resulting small talk may be like.

I have been friends with a couple of people on the spectrum, one before I ever considered I was and there was definitely no small talk. We kind of just knew the sorts of topics that interested us and went straight into them. If there was NT people present we were kind of forced to attempt small talk and our communication with each other broke down to not much better than we would get if we were trying to communicate directly with NT's.