Confronting Myself

[Gerald Wilgus]

I have been doing Cognitive Processing Therapy for lingering PTSD from earlier social isolation Most recently I had to write a narrative on the causes of the perceived trauma and now am dealing with challenging the stuck points, the messages I tell myself that never let me move on in a healthy manner from what I experienced.

It is hard work and leaves me with a vague anxiety with what this reveals about me. Despite knowing that I have managed to overcome the deficits to persevere and build a good life, the exercize leaves me wondering about myself. I feel ashamed that I allowed myself to feel the way I did. I think that this could be a final barrier for me.

I wonder if there is any introspection that I can do to break through that in order to heal?

 

[Thinx]

It's the Shame Barrier. But you can work through it. There's a nice little article on this on the health line site, the site is at
Healthline: Medical information and health advice you can trust.
the article is by Rachel Otis, who is a body-oriented therapist.

I have found somatic approaches seem particularly effective for me as someone with autism, we are too much in our heads maybe, and this cuts out the brain and helps us feel into our somatic processing to deal with emotional wounds.

This article's called '3 therapist approved approaches to stop the self-Shame spiral'.

This little article is just a start point, there's a lot out there on Shame because it's such a major component of what we often have to deal with as we heal ourselves from past wounds. You can get past this.

 

[watersprite]

I wonder if there is any introspection that I can do to break through that in order to heal?

It is possible you have, already, taking place behind the scenes as it were.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

It's the Shame Barrier. But you can work through it. There's a nice little article on this on the health line site, the site is at
Healthline: Medical information and health advice you can trust.
the article is by Rachel Otis, who is a body-oriented therapist.

I have found somatic approaches seem particularly effective for me as someone with autism, we are too much in our heads maybe, and this cuts out the brain and helps us feel into our somatic processing to deal with emotional wounds.

This article's called '3 therapist approved approaches to stop the self-Shame spiral'.

This little article is just a start point, there's a lot out there on Shame because it's such a major component of what we often have to deal with as we heal ourselves from past wounds. You can get past this.

I read and enjoyed the article. I have been trying out self-affirming messages. Now I need to ingrain them into my thinking.

Thank you for the article. It is what I need.

 

[Luca]

I’ve been working on the same thing in therapy. It’s hard.
I agree with Thinx and Watersprite.
Self-affirmation can be a huge help. I know it’s easier said than done but you’re taking the right steps to help yourself feel better about yourself
I can provide advice from my therapy sessions too if you would like. I don’t find every aspect of therapy helpful but sometimes being pushed to talk myself out of certain feelings is necessary.

 

[Au Naturel]

I have been doing Cognitive Processing Therapy for lingering PTSD from earlier social isolation Most recently I had to write a narrative on the causes of the perceived trauma and now am dealing with challenging the stuck points, the messages I tell myself that never let me move on in a healthy manner from what I experienced.

It is hard work and leaves me with a vague anxiety with what this reveals about me. Despite knowing that I have managed to overcome the deficits to persevere and build a good life, the exercize leaves me wondering about myself. I feel ashamed that I allowed myself to feel the way I did. I think that this could be a final barrier for me.

I wonder if there is any introspection that I can do to break through that in order to heal?

A lot of us absorb the notion that we need to be punished for stuff we did. Or even things we didn't do but thought about. Shame is a way to punish ourselves for something we didn't get punished for.

Shame is also a way to lessen external punishment for our misdeeds. People will tend to punish someone less severely if they appear ashamed of what they did - that's why shame exists. Even a court of law will often take into account a strong show of remorse.

Shame as self-punishment is meaningless - unless you actually did harm someone intentionally or thru serious negligence. Then you should feel ashamed about it. You make amends as best you can and vow never to do such a thing again. Don't be that person anymore and that's the end of it.

But in most cases, shame is a completely useless emotion. You felt the way you did because it was the only thing you could have felt at the time. It would be like a deaf person who had recovered their hearing feeling shame over not hearing things prior to the recovery.

You haven't yet let go of the past. People who don't let go of the past end up reliving it. What you need to do is own your mistakes, learn from your mistakes, and resolve to be better. Then you put the past behind you.